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Please tell me if this sounds irrational

gr8bigsmilegr8bigsmile member
in 3rd Trimester

I understand that I am late into my pregnancy and that I may be prone to some irrationality but please tell me if this is reasonable or if I'm being totally irrational:

DH works for a company where he does installations in individuals homes throughout the day.  Because of the nature of his job he has a certain number of jobs that he must complete in a day and could be done by noon or could be out until 8 or 9.  He works by himself from his personal truck and has 2 cell phones, his personal and his work cell phone.  Last night I was trying to get a hold of him to ask him an unimportant question, but one that I needed an answer to before 7:30-8.  I tried to call/text him from 4pm until 8 (not incessantly but like once an hour) for the 4 hours with no response on either his personal or work phone.  He didn't call me until almost 9 pm with the excuse that his work phone was charging in his truck.  In my opinion if he can't use his work phone, shouldn't he have his personal phone on him for an emergency situation?  Especially with me being so close to having this baby it is really frustrating to think that I might not be able to get ahold of him for 4 hours or more. 

Am I being irrational and I should back off since he was at work and there wasn't an emergency or am I justified to be frustrated and annoyed that there could have been an emergency and no way to get in contact with him--since I don't have a contact number for anyone else that he works with?

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Re: Please tell me if this sounds irrational

  • chrstnmnzchrstnmnz member
    I would be annoyed.  DH declines my calls a lot if he's speaking with one of his employees but if it's an emergency I call right back a second time.  If he still doesn't answer, he knows at least to speed things up and call me back ASAP.  I told him that if I call and then he gets a text right after, he'd better check it right away in case it says something like "baby's crowning and I'm on the kitchen floor" LOL
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  • hiswife062808hiswife062808
    Nope- I woulda been PIST! I still have 3 months left, but I already told DH... No matter what- he has to answer his phone or at least call me back asap. Pregnancy is scarry and I have to know that he is there whenever I may need him... I say- Yell, cry and make him feel like SH*T!!! LoL
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  • alissa445alissa445

    I would be frustrated but sounds like he wasn't really thinking about it. Just tell him that is very important to you that you're able to get a hold of him. Maybe this will be a lessoned learned.

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  • ChefBritChefBrit
    I would definately be annoyed.. try to explain to him that you need him to have one of his phones on him at all times.. if he is busy and doesn't want to talk just answer and say hey can i call you back or this an emergency! Its like asking them to not drink too much so they can still drive us to the hospital.. sometimes they just dont realize..
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  • gr8bigsmilegr8bigsmile member
    The thing that is most annoying is that supposedly both phones were in the truck and he didn't even think to check them for 4 hours.  I mean I understand if one is dead, but the least you can do is stick the other on silent in your pocket as a JIC.
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  • Cassandra1028Cassandra1028

    I went through this earlier in my pg when I got into a car accident and DH didn't answer his phone....it pi$$ed me off to no end - and I told him that with me being pg - he needs to not have his phone on "silent" because you never know and I need to be able to get ahold of him.

    I say it warrants a serious discussion - but don't get too worked up over it. Guys don't think like we do...so give him some slack. Just ask him to please be available just in case  you really do need to get ahold of him.

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  • Mrs.EMommyMrs.EMommy
    My husband recently did something similar. I know his schedule and I knew he was at the gym.  So I called and had them page him over the loudspeaker saying his wife was in labor.  He'll never ignore my phone calls again.
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  • gr8bigsmilegr8bigsmile member
    imagealissa445:

    I would be frustrated but sounds like he wasn't really thinking about it. Just tell him that is very important to you that you're able to get a hold of him. Maybe this will be a lessoned learned.

    That's the other thing.  I tried to talk to him about it last night and he was acting like I told him that he should completely drop everything to talk to me while he's at work and then is all pissed off at me today saying that I'm being irrational and if it was an emergency an hour or 2 wouldn't make a difference--UH smartguy by definition of an emergency the need is immediate and an hour or 2 would make a difference.

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  • CeltiCutieCeltiCutie member
    I would be annoyed too. I would just tell him that due to you being so close to giving birth you just want to be sure you can contact him if need be.  If you stay calm it'd prolly get your point across better. I know if I flip out DH usually is not receptive. lol
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  • bchlvnmom09bchlvnmom09
    I get really annoyed when DH does this to me! He will call me and I will call right back to ask him something...like 2 seconds later, and he wont answer or call back for a couple of hours! It always creates an argument between us. I just want the comfort of knowing that when I go into Labor I wont have to do it on my own because he " gets caught up at work " You work at a nursing home...I am sorry those people can wait 5 minutes for you to pick up the phone and see if I am ok!!
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  • SwissPrincessBrideSwissPrincessBride

    I definitely agree that you are justified in being upset. I wish I had a good way for you to handle it but I think the other ladies hit the nail on the head. You have to calmly sit and explain to him the importance of you being able to reach him, particularly this late in your pregnancy. Possibly together you can come up with a plan that makes you both happy and comfortable? Best of luck to you!

    PS we are due date buddies! :)

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  • gr8bigsmilegr8bigsmile member
    Thanks for the reassurance ladies.  I know that we need to talk about it calmly I'm just still so angry about it that I know I won't have a cool head for the conversation right now and it feels like he's not at all receptive to talking about it.
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  • jenerallyjenerally member

    I would be annoyed, too.

    However.

    He was at work and it's possible he was busy working and couldn't take your call. Talk about it rationally, but don't be accusatory. Mention that if you call, you'd like him to call you back within (30 min/1 hr). That you were worried and needed him.

    And then drop it.

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  • Hunter22Hunter22 member
    Just remind him that in the next couple of weeks it is going to be important you are able to reach him. There are times I can't get ahold of DH at work for a couple of hours either because of meetings or whatever (an sometimes whole days when he can't reach me) so I guess maybe I am more on the cut him some slack side. If you were 38+ weeks then yeah, be pissed, but otherwise just remind him. It looks like you already have a kid so he should know the deal by now.
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  • kash27kash27
    Not irrational at all!  I would have been pissed!
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