1st Trimester

Telling friends?

We haven't told anyone yet - going to wait until 12 weeks.  I'm a little nervous about telling one of my best friends.  Not that she won't be happy, but they've been trying for years.  Have done the whole fertility thing (and still are), but haven't had any luck.

 And we just got married last year, got pregnant the month we were trying (call us Fertile Myrtle).  I am so excited, but how do I tell her - I know she will be bummed it's not her?

 Any thoughts on this?

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Re: Telling friends?

  • well, she is going to be hurt. Not at you but at the situation. I am not sure there is any "good" way to tell her. I would not make a point of telling her that it was the first cycle. Also, I would not complain to her about any pregnancy symptoms. Even if it does not sound like complaining to you, it will seem that way to her. GL.
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  • if she truly is a best friend then she should be able to put herself aside for a moment and be happy for you! this is an exciting time and you need to be able to express your excitment to those close to you. you may unfortunately end up discovering shes not as close as you thought she was. i found in my first pregnancy and now with my son, you really see those friends that are true and want to be around.

    good luck! and CONGRATUALTIONS!!

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  •  I don't have much advice, just empathy.  We're telling my DH's family this week, and his oldest sister went through IVF, had 2-3 miscarriages, was looking to adopt but nothing came of it, etc., so I'm worried about how to tell her and how she'll take it.

     I guess the key is to just say, "I'm expecting" but not gush about it.  Let her ask questions if she wants; otherwise, I would keep it simple. 

  • Maybe try telling her in a way that doesn't seem like you're looking for a reaction - just sharing the news?

    I have a friend who I'm not really looking forward to telling. She's 31, lives with her parents, hasn't dated in a long time, and its just hard to share milestones with her.

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