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VENT: Really mad at my IL's!!!

PoppySeedMommyPoppySeedMommy
in 1st Trimester

You guys let me know if I'm over reacting. DH and I went ahead and told our parents last week but made sure to mention to them that we weren't making it public knowledge until we were ready and to please not say anything to anyone. Well, my parents have managed to honor that wish as well as my MIL. However, Saturday I get a call from DH while he's at breakfast with his dad and DH tells me that FIL has told all the men at their Saturday breakfast. That irritated me a bit but I let it slide. Then last night while DH went to his dad's and step-mother's house for the super bowl I stayed home as I was not really feeling great. Well, DH calls me from there to ask if I would like for him to bring me any food and oh, by the way "Everyone here knows. And so does my aunt in Raleigh."

I am furious! We asked them not to tell and they've completely ignored our request! Now, I feel like a jerk because we haven't told my BIL and SIL yet. The more I think about the more upset I get.

I understand that they are excited but that doesn't give them the right to do as they please. This is our business, our news, our baby! We made a simple request. How hard is that to understand?

Okay, sorry, vent over.

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Re: VENT: Really mad at my IL's!!!

  • kristin329kristin329
    Don't make yourself nuts about it.  It is annoying that they could not keep their traps shut but people get excited and don't understand why they can't talk about it.  I'm sure they only talked out of being excited.  Plus these are guys, they can be quite clueless. There is nothing you can do now so just don't let it bother you.  Be Happy!  You are having a baby.  Who cares who told who when.  Now you know for the future don't tell the IL's until you are ready for the news to go public.  Congrats.
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  • MrsPreKMrsPreK
    That sucks, but what is done is done. Sorry you have to deal with it.
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  • mrsmelmrsmel member

    this is why we didn't tell anyone until we were ok with everyone knowing. when people have info, they have to spill. i think it's in our dna.

    it sucks, but what's done is done. tell the rest of the fam so no one feels left out and then let it go. let them be happy and excited -- it's all a good thing!

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  • BlairWaldorfBlairWaldorf member

    Yep, just happened to us this weekend, compliments of FIL.

    Nate told him that if I lose this baby, FIL gets the honors of telling everyone. 

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  • LeelaHLeelaH

    I don't think you're overreacting and I would be mad too.  My husband's step-mother went and told everyone that we were having a girl last time (after I told her we weren't sure if we were going to tell everyone) and I didn't speak to her for the rest of my pregnancy.  I can't stand when people blab your secrets!  That said, what is done is done.  If you have a good relationship with your inlaws, I guess you could probably let it go.  I already had issues with mine so I didn't let it go.

     

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  • MrsDBMrsDB
    Now you know that if you have another baby, FIL can't know until you want everyone to know.
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  • At1stsightAt1stsight
    I agree with everyone else here: this sucks, he had no right to do it, but since it's done, it's done. I do think that since it has made you this upset that you should *CALMLY* talk to your FIL sometime soon and let him know how it made you feel. (Let DH know that you're going to talk to him just to explain how you felt and that you're not going to get angry or anything like that.) Tell him how glad you are that he is excited, but you were really hurt that he didn't respect your wishes to keep things quiet for a few more weeks. This will likely result in an apology from him (and like others mentioned, he might be like a deer in headlights b/c he really was that clueless), which you should accept and hug it out.
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  • PoppySeedMommyPoppySeedMommy

    Thanks ladies! I haven't figured out if I'm going to say anything at this point. Like you all said, what's done is done. We just won't tell them next time until we are ready fot the world to know.

    I appreciate you guys letting me vent.

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  • ArcticFoxArcticFox member
    I would be majorly p!ssed.  I would never, ever tell someone else news about someone's pregnancy - it is no one's place but you or your DH (and moreso you).  Someone in our family did that, and it was very upsetting.  I don't know why anyone would think it's ok to reveal big news like that, because it ruins it for you and DH and for the people they told.  Pregnancy or any big news.
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