How many showers are you allowed to have

tky101505 · January 2009

I'm not pregnat, yet. but my best friend is pregnant again, this will be her third child. I was wondering is it alright for her to have another baby shower for this child, she had two already. I know my sister had a baby shower for all three of her children, I've heard different answers regarding this matter. Some people say, 'you should only have one shower for your first one and that's it, while some people say it's ok to have them for each of your children'. I just wanted to know because I've always wondered about it, what do you guys think?

megd06 · January 2009

HAHAHAHA....can of worms: OPENED

In my opinion, you can have a 2nd shower if it's a different sex than your previous children--otherwise I think just a meet and greet (after baby comes) or a diaper/formula shower is in order. Course if enough friends want to go to it--why not throw another one?

EDIT--sorry about the duplicate post. I'm in that ice storm so my internet is acting crazy Angry

megd06 · January 2009

HAHAHAHA....can of worms: OPENED

In my opinion, you can have a 2nd shower if it's a different sex than your previous children--otherwise I think just a meet and greet (after baby comes) or a diaper/formula shower is in order. Course i

f

howleyshell · January 2009

I think this largely depends on what's the "norm" in your part of the country.

In my area it would appear totally gift-grabby and tactless.

No one would come.

I do hear though that it's totally normal in other parts of the country.

I kinda like the theory that a shower is to help someone establish themselves in a new part of their lives. Unless they're spaced far apart someone really doesn't need that much new stuff for a second child.

DNK777 · January 2009

I think it's a cultural thing. Around here middle/lower class Ohio, second+ are practically unheard of and would be frowned upon.

MrsDuncan · January 2009

Agree with a PP - only if the previous children are much older (to the point that the mother wouldn't have her baby stuff anymore). And even then, I don't know... I see it as kind of like having a bridal shower for a second wedding. It's just a little iffy.

Mary22 · January 2009

I've normally only seen showers for first babies. However, last year I went to one for a second time pregnancy. Here's the story: It was for woman who married into the family and had a child from a previous marriage. This child is like 8 or so and a girl. She was pregnant with twin boys. So it was first babies for daddy, then you have the factor of older first child and two babies instead of one. Plus on top of that, she'd had trouble TTC and daddy's brother's wife got pregnant around the same time, and they threw her a shower. So long story short, it was a complicated situation! Make sense?

ljlkm · January 2009

I wouldn't throw a shower for someone having a second child. But, I think you can have as many showers as people are willing to throw for you.

EastCoastBride · January 2009

IF you throw her a shower, keep it VERY VERY small. As in her closest friends only. Large showers for 2nd or 3rd kids, in my opinion, are REALLY tacky. Showers are about setting up a NEW mom w/ what she needs. 2nd and 3rd timers don't need this (assuming the kids are relatively close in age).

If you relaly want to "celebrate the baby", then offer to throw a party AFTER the baby is actually here and make it about meeting the baby and not about gifts.

Erin Mary Ackerman · January 2009

A third baby shower would get the side eye for the MTB and people would talk about the host for sure.

Better to spend the money that you would have on a pampering day or girls day out for you and mom.

My BFFs took me to High Tea at a fancy hotel for my second baby and it was amazing.

Jacquie_Palma · January 2009

I don't see a problem holding a second shower if it's a different gender than previous child, or if they are far apart in age. My sister had a shower with all 3 of her kids. She had her first, a girl, when she was really young, 18, and so when she was done with her stuff she gave it away to friends, etc. She was definitely not planning on getting pregnant at 21, so had nothing baby related anymore, and it was a boy this time. So, we had another shower. 10 years later she got pregnant again so we had a 3rd shower for her, it was 1st baby for the Dad, because she REALLY didn't have anything anymore.

On another note, a girlfriend of mine had 4 kids in a 5 year period and had a shower with all 4 of them. Her first 2 were only 11 months apart and both boys. Yeah, I thought that was a little much, personally.

DiscusCoach · January 2009

I am also from CA and in this area, unless there is some sort of special circumstance, once is the limit. Having high tea with the ladies or a little sprinkle with closest friends is cool but a full blown shower is "gift grabbie".

Special circumstances - My cousin, after giving up on getting pg again, got pg with baby 2 in November. She had gotten rid of everything. On top of this, the baby will be a boy. She already has a girl.

My sister was living in military housing overseas. A levee broke and they lost everything!!! (4 feet of water in the house in 30 minutes) Two years later, they had moved back to the US, were expecting baby number two, had lost all their first baby stuff and were having a boy. The first baby was a girl.

hopefulmom · January 2009

If you want to host a shower for her why don't you wait until the baby is born and make it a Welcome Baby Party. She's still get some new things for the little one but it won't be like she'll get things she already has (hopefully).

SaranJonathan · January 2009

In my opinion its tacky. If you so chose to have a 2nd, 3rd, child then its your decision. If you cant afford the items baby needs you shouldnt have gotten KU. I always buy something small after the child is born, when I meet them.

When you have your 1st you start with nothing. Honestly those who dont save from child to child or dont have gender neutral things... well its there problem.

tanya8 · January 2009

Since DH's family and mine are on opposite sides of the country, and I don't live at home, I am probably going to have at least 2 showers just for the one baby! If your friends and family want to celebrate with you, have as many as you want!

verobianchi · February 2009

in my personal opinion, its 2009...if you want to have multiple showers and have friends willing to throw them, have at it!! i am about to throw a shower for a girlfriend of mine for her 2nd child which is a girl and the first was a boy. celebrate all your children, they are a blessing:)

Want a personalized experience?

How many showers are you allowed to have

Re: How many showers are you allowed to have

Choose Another Board

Search Boards