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Working Moms
So how would you have reacted?!?
I went back to work this week and was very upset and my male boss (who is a vp) knew just how upset I was. My DD is being watched by my mother in law during the day. Wednesday morning he came up to me and was like how was this morning and I said better I DIDN'T CRY. Then he said its going to be hard when her first word is grandma and when you MIL calls to say you missed her first step. Then he started laughing like it was the funniest thing he ever said. I wanted to smack him in the face. Then the rest of the week anytime he needed me it started with a comment about does your daughter still reconginze you- just wait till on the weekends she would rather be with her grandma.
It is really annoying the f&ck out of me. He knows this is a hard transition for me and he is being a major d&ick. How would you react to these comments without punching him in his fat head?!?
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Re: So how would you have reacted?!?
I think I would tell him that the comment is not funny and not appreciated. If he continues after that, i would report him.
I have found many of my male coworkers think comments along those lines are funny. They have no idea how truely mean they are.
One told me it hurts me to look at you (I was 37 weeks pregnant!). I told him that was not nice and I didn't apprecitate it. He didn't apoligize, but he also didn't give me any more ***. Another male coworker make many inappropiate comments and I did report him.
Next time he makes a commet like that I would warn him that if he doesn't stop you will be reporting him to HR. That is harassment.
Anyone who make a joke of these things does NOT understand how you feel.
A firm,"Stop commenting on my daughter" each and every time he makes any comment will do it.
"I said, stop commenting on my daughter."
Do not comment on your feelings, how he makes you feel or why he's such a d&ckhead. Just be very firm and clear that the comments end. Immediately.
And know, moving forward, that he is no friend of yours .... and not capable of support for your situation. Stear clear and do not share.
1) If he says anything else, just say: "What do you mean?". Let him explain it.
2) Don't share with him. Saying "I didn't cry" isn't appropriate in the workplace either.
that is harrassment, plain and simple. what a d!ck!
btw - your baby will NOT say grandma first (a. b/c it's too hard to say and b. b/c she'll probably say dada first, lol - it's usually the first word b/c it's easier to say)
and trust me- you will miss some of the "firsts" but it will not take away how proud you feel the first time YOU see her do those things.
I missed my DS's first steps- i was on my first business trip away from home, and he did it at daycare... but that weekend when I saw him do it I was so thrilled! I really was not upset that he did it at daycare first - i was just so proud of him that he did it.
HUGS... it's hard- but it gets a lot easier!
I would report him to his boss and ask to be transferred to a different manager. Transitioning back into the workplace is hard enough without having an insensative boss making it worse.
Also, I am a working mom, and as far as I know, I never missed ANY of her firsts. First steps, first words, all the cute little things she did, all in front of my eyes at home. I never missed a moment....neither will you.
You should keep a log with every comment he made and the time and place. When and if you choose to report him, it will help your case to have a log of exact quotes.
I would get a tape recorder and carry it with me. Then when he makes those comments, I would put the recorder in his direction and ask him to repeat them for the record. You won't believe how fast the comments will stop if he thinks he's being recorded (even if you don't have a tape in it!). He either knows it's wrong and is doing it because he thinks he can get away with it, or he's clueless and you'll tell him it's wrong.
Many many moms work. Their babies grow up to be healthy, loving adults. The first step, etc. will be the first time you see it. Besides, the first word is often da da and we know how much moms do compared to dads!!! So the first word doesn't mean anything- ha ha.
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
I completely agree with the previous posts. He is definitely harrassing you and is an insensitive idiot. be firm and say that the comments are unprofessional and that moving forward you would appreciate it if he would stop making them. Keep the log and report him if it continues.
On my first day back one of my managers asked me how i could leave my daughter like that and that if she had a baby she would never ever leave her baby because it would kill her. She doesnt have kids and clearly was an idiot!
Guys just don't get it do they? Can you ask him to stop the comments? If you do and he doesn't report him.
I'm a working mom too and with my DD had to return to a full time job, it was SO hard and I hated it. I didn't miss any of her first's though, she was sweet enough to take her first steps AFTER I got home from work.
Hope everything works out for you.