Baby Names
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Juniors...
While I'm not pregnant yet, I know that if one day, we have a boy my DH wants him to be a JR....how I HATE the thought of that! My DH isn't a jr, he just happens to have the same first name as his dad (DH=Paul Timothy, FIL=Paul Winfred). If DH was a jr, then I'd go for a III but he's not so I just really hate the idea...I want to discuss this before we find out we're having a boy (or before I get pregnant) b/c I don't want the stress of this situation upon us while I'm pregnant.
Any suggestions on how I can express my hate for the idea w/o totally insulting him...he's as much for the idea as I am against it so I'm in a rough situation....
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Re: Juniors...
I had the same problem. I never said anything like "I hate it" to DH but I explained that I wanted my son to have his own identity and honestly I wanted the fun of picking a name! And one that I liked. I just didn't love the idea of having a jr.
We compromised. DH is William Scott and we named DS William Austin. It was a great idea because DH was also named William after his dad but his dad is William Stanley. So, we've started a tradition of sorts of passing down the first name but avoiding Jrs, 2nds, 3rds, etc.
Some women are completely for honoring their husband's wishes and having a jr. You can't help it if you aren't one of them. Just be honest but nice about it. Any chance you can do something like we did?
GL!
(By the way, both DH and DS go by their middle names but thats another story!)
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I do think a compromise is in our future (and I certainly haven't said to DH that "I hate it!" but he knows I really don't want it!) and if we do compromise like you and your husband did, and we go by his middle name then I'd be even happier! I just want to give our son (one day) the oportunity to be his own person and not feel like he must live in his father's shadow simply b/c he's a jr.
Thanks...DH and I certainly have time to discuss it!
I did tell dh that I HATED the idea and that I refused to do it. Maybe that makes me a biotch, but so be it. I asked him how would he feel about naming our daughter Emily Nicole (my name) Jr. and he said he thought that it would be weird and said he kinda understands where I'm coming from.
I understand that it is a family tradition for some, but it is one that I don't like being forced to honor. I feel it is giving me no say in the name of our child.
I realize that this topic makes me unreasonably angry, so I might not be the best for advice. I'm not against the tradition if the mom wants to do it as well. I just don't like it when women aren't really for it but feel pressured to do it just b/c it is "tradition."
Both parents should have a say in their child's name.
My DH is a junior and it causes problems all the time. We gets bills and checks for his father and I assume they get stuff for him... but no one ever tells us. It's hard when you have two people with the same name share an address fro 18 years and then try to split them. AAA cancelled our membership and left us stranded in New Jersey... It is constant problems and god forbid your son goes through a rough period when he's young. His credit problems become your credit problems right about the time you're looking to buy a retirement home.
The other thing is that unless you are very wealthy and have a "Name" to pass on, a lot of people consider this naming practice a little on the trailer park side with each subsequent generation worse than the previous.
Pop culture example: My Name is Earl - see Earl and Earl Junior. Earl and his wife Joy are both white. Earl Junior isn't...
perhaps you could put a positive spin on it. Like, "I love how you and your dad have the same first name but different mn! We should do that if WE have a boy too!"
My DH had never expressed wanting a JR, but I brought it up casually so I could nip it in the bud. This is along the lines of my comment:
"You know, I can't stand the JR thing. It always makes me think that the father is really egocentric...like, I am SO important, there needs to be TWO of me. I think using the fathers name as a middle name is a nice sign of respect and admiration...I just think the JR thing is a bit much..."
Mine wanted a junior bad. I had to cry to get out of it. Our girl name was for his mom, and I wanted to do a boy for my dad. Both have passed away, so I thought this was fair. He agreed, but still really wanted a junior. Our compromise was naming our son after my dad, but with Matthew as his first middle name.
Now when we talk about #2 though, he still wants a junior. And I think that's ridiculous since Joseph's middle name will be the same as #2's first name. And one of my BILs is a Matthew, and it's my brother's MN. Just too many of them.
I'm lobbying for a variation of his name. Instead of Matthew, Jr., I'm shooting for Matthias or Mattheson. He's not buying it though. Luckily, not pregnant.