Brother against me using family name

Mipper · January 2009

My dad and brother share the same first name Harrison both of them go by they're middle names. The name is also my Grandmother's brothers name (thats how my dad got it)

Anyway, I would like to use the name if we have a boy and DH has ok'd it. My brother thinks it's wrong and that he should have the rights to the name for his future son. I kind of understand where he is coming from but also sad about it. We have other names we like so it's not like we are hurting for a name we both like. But this is the only family name so far.

Do you think my brother has a right to it more than I do? Also my brother is only 20 and no marriage or kids in his near future of course.

kcjessieb · January 2009

I kind of agree with your brother. Robert is our family name and men pass it along to sons, so that there's a whole chain of Roberts. I won't touch Robert so my brother can use it. I will probably find a way to pay respect to that side of my family, like using my maiden name for a middle name.

beckys96 · January 2009

I can see where he is coming from but he doesn't own the name. What if you used it for a middle name?

alicia023 · January 2009

IMO, not to be mean, but 1st come 1st serve. It would be different if he was married and talking about or fixing to have kids, but since he is not, I would use it, or just ask your mom about her opinion.

Mipper · January 2009

My dad is fine with me using it and is honored. I was going to use it as a middle name. But DH and I thought about using my maiden name as a MN instead which is " Freeman" is that too weird? I guess it's hard for me to see it as anything other than a last name.

beckys96 · January 2009

Um not sure if I like Freeman as a middle name - its my married name, so like you I am use to it as a last name. What if you do a search for a name that means that? If you go to https://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/ you can look up names by meaning, I remember seeing some.

jenerally · January 2009

I see both sides of the story. You are pregnant; he is not (nor is he close to being so).

But it is HIS name to be passed down and maybe he always wanted to do so. Maybe you should find another name, similar to Harrison, that you and DH like.

No one has a RIGHT to a name, so you could go ahead and do it. But would it cause a rift in your family? Is that worth it?

Mipper · January 2009

beckys96:

Um not sure if I like Freeman as a middle name - its my married name, so like you I am use to it as a last name. What if you do a search for a name that means that? If you go to https://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/ you can look up names by meaning, I remember seeing some.

I found Armani means Freeman. hee hee! Thanks for the name site.

beckys96 · January 2009

I like Armani. Good Luck!

MrsDuncan · January 2009

There is a middle name passed down on my dad's side from my grandpa to my brother. I would never use it - it's been traditionally passed through the males in the family and it goes along with my family (maiden) name. Not that anyone's explicitly told me I shouldn't - just that it's my brother's to use.

BeachyGirl01 · January 2009

I do think your brother has more of a "right" to the name. ?But I don't see why he has a problem with you using it as a mn. ?Lots of people in my family share the same mn.?

DiscusCoach · January 2009

If you were absolutely in love with the name and couldn't possibly consider using another one then I would say "use it". It sounds like you have other options and that you should leave it for your brother. Maybe you can use it as a middle name.

becky&dane · January 2009

I sort of agree that he has a little bit more of a prior claim to that name since it's HIS name.

But, like pp said, what's the big deal if both of your kids have the name? Especially since maybe they won't even be called that name.

But, if it were me, I probably wouldn't use it if it was going to cause a ton of problems in the family.

J+R · January 2009

Both of my uncles used the same name "Thomas" for their boys... It is a family name - there haven't been any problems. Who's to say that your brother will even have a boy/children? I'd use it... At least if he did have a boy - there would be enough of an age difference that you wouldnt have two Harrisons crawling around grandmas house

Jacquie_Palma · January 2009

I have the same situation in my family. My Grandfather was Jack, my Dad was Jack, and I am the "Jack" in my generation (Jacquelyne). Both my Grandpa and my Dad have passed away. I have always said that I wanted to carry the Jack on if I were to have a boy. The only one that had a possible problem was my brother, but then he got over it. Plus, he's had two boys and had his chance then. So, it's known that I have "dibs" on that name I guess. Luckily we've had nothing but girls in the last 3 years, so I haven't had to worry about it. Smile

JessMike07 · January 2009

Could you use Harrison as a middle name?? I see where he is coming from but...the point is your pg and the one having a baby.

anna7602 · January 2009

It's not worth straining your relationship with him, IMO. I really like my brother's name- Alex- and he already has 3 sons of his own that he didn' name Alex, but he doesn't want me to use it for reasons I won't go into. Does his logic suuuck? yes. but I love my brother and do not want to destroy our relationship.

berry25 · January 2009

I think you should let your brother use the name.

userdeleted · January 2009

Well...normally I'd say that people can't claim names, but in this special circumstance I kind of have to side with your brother. I think since it's his name, he should be able to carry on the tradition without having a duplicate.

I can tell that you have some sentiment invested in this name too though, and it doesn't seem like you should have to completely give it up. What if you used Harrison as the middle name so that you're still using the family name without kind of stepping on your brother's toes?

finn07 · January 2009

i think that if you are going to use your brother's name then you should avoid using his last name as a mn, it is just too close. i would talk to him again about Harrison. if you love it and you and dh both want to use it, there must be a way...especially since your brother goes by a different name.

rebus82 · January 2009

It's as much your family name as his. There's no guarantee he'll ever even have kids, let alone a boy. If you and your DH like the name, use it. That being said, if you like other names equally, it might be worth it to use one of them instead, just to avoid conflict with your brother.?

JoyGotDots · January 2009

I was all set to say that whoever has the baby first gets the name, but when I saw that it was your brother's actual name then I changed my mind. Even though he is not married and doesn't have children, I do think he has more of a right to the name (since it is his name) than you do. Sorry!

Corinneallyson · January 2009

So you both name your kid Harrison...by the time your brother has kids your son will be older, and you both wont be screaming after a toddler. Also, his kid may go by his middle name like your brother. My little brother's name is Ben, and my cousin's name is Ben. We have Big Ben and Little Ben. It works.

BTW: I love your siggy pic - you are beautiful!

iluvtom · January 2009

I have to agree with your brother, he should have the right whne he is ready to have a child to pass down his name, sorry

AudioDoc · January 2009

Is there a reason why you both couldn't use it? Perhaps you can use it for a middle name and then your brother can use it for a first name (if/when the time comes)

I don't really see the logic in the arguement...sorry :-(

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