After giving birth...when did you need the most help?

heathb21 · January 2009

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm going to need help after my babies are born/come home from the hospital. And everyone keeps saying I'll need it right away.

I wanted to know what you MoMs thought. When did you need the most help? Was it right when you brought your babies home? Was it later on? How much help did you have and for how long? My DH will most likely stay home a week after they are born. My mom is also close by. My DH has thought about asking one of my cousins that I'm close to, that will be off on break all summer to stay with us at least part of the summer. But I almost feel like, that's too much. Am I just niave to think that I can do this myself, with the occassional help of my mom & MIL?

Thanks!

ncsubride · January 2009

Personally I needed it the most in the beginning when I was still recovering from my c-section. Once I was able to move like normal and wasn't in pain or on the pain meds anymore I was fine to care for them by myself. My came down down and stayed with me for 2.5 weeks and then I was on my own. It is def. hard on your own and it takes some time to get in a groove that works for you and your babies but you can do it. It might be nice to have some help during the summer, help is always nice but def. not necessary.

Kerri

Rose.9.6.03 · January 2009

You definitely can do it on your own. But some people like help, others don't.

My mom stayed with us for the first week and my ILs came for the second week. In a lot of ways it was helpful (they did some grocery shopping, took an occasional feeding, held the babies when I just couldn't do it anymore). But I also felt like I just wanted people out of my house.

When the girls were three weeks old, we hired a college student to be a mother's helper/babysitter a couple hours each day. If you can afford that or have someone willing to volunteer to do that, I highly recommend it. In the beginning, I didn't leave her totally only with the babies - but she would be there to help with feedings and tend to the babies while I was pumping, showering or napping. Eventually, after a few weeks, I trusted her with the girls and I'd use the time to run errands, go to appointments, whatever. Now the girls are almost two and she still babysits for us from time to time - they love her.

The one thing I will add is that you might want to have help in the beginning if you have a c-section or complications to your health. I was lucky to have a vaginal delivery and a very easy recovery, but if you're not able to do much lifting or exercise, it would be nice to have someone around to do it for you.

pea-kay · January 2009

We had all three boys home on the 17th of December, and my mom came on the 21st to stay for about a week. Then she'd come for a couple of days at a time, once a week or so for the next month or two. That was all the help we had, and it was fine. Hard, but fine.

I really, really, really wish I'd had more help around the time they hit their due date. That was the hardest time because they started to "wake up" and were a lot more demanding.

Of course, it's hard to plan that now - so I'd say it probably would be nice to have someone to help (someone you can be very very comfortable around, who you don't mind seeing you slobby and half naked and groggy and stuff) when they come home, esp if it looks like they'll be coming home with you. At least I had time to heal from my c/s before the boys came home. I'm very glad for that.

JChandlerJBates · January 2009

My Mom was here for the 1st 3 weeks and it was great. It helped me get into a routine with the boys since she did the laundry, cooking, cleaning and took care of your dog.. I know she is planning on coming down again in a few weeks right before I go back to work so I think that will help also.

aegrigsby · January 2009

Our boys were in the NICU for the first month and still hadn't reached their due date when we came home, so they slept a LOT and it was a breeze. I am just now getting to the point that I think I could really use some help. They are up almost all day and want to be entertained, so I get absolutely nothing done. So I agree with the mommy who said she needed the most help when here babies "woke up".

It really does depend on your health, recovery, and how needy your babies are.

heathb21 · January 2009

Thanks everyone!!!

lajolla09.30.06 · January 2009

I think it definitely depends on your personality a lot... I'm not ashamed to admit it I was TERRIFIED to be alone with the babies in the beginning. I had no idea what I was doing and I was always worried I'd be doing the wrong thing. My mom stayed with us (during the week only, I had my husband home on weekends) for the first three months... yup... three months. She pretty much just cooked, cleaned, did grocery runs and helped me feed them when I felt like I needed an extra hand, she didn't do that much baby-watching, but it made me feel a lot better to have her in the house. That being said I've always been the kind of person who gets along fabulously with my mom AND I don't like to be alone in general, so it worked out well.

macchiatto · January 2009

The first 7-10 days I would have LOVED some help, but definitely someone I was very comfortable with; I had no energy for "visitors." This past week when DH returned to work it wouldve been helpful to have someone too. I think having your cousin stay with you may or may not be too much; it really depends on your relationship with the cousin, how helpful they'd be, and your own personality and preferences. (And the health and personalities of your babies!)

kblindgren · January 2009

I had the exact same thoughts - that we could do it ourselves. After all, it was only 2 babies and there are 2 of us. My boys were in the NICU for 2 weeks and the first night they were home DH and I did not sleep 1 second! We called his mom the next day to come and help for a day, then called my mom to help for 1 more day. Really all they did was bring food, clean up my house a little, and watch the babies while I took a nap. I had help for 2 days and then had adjusted to my new sleeping schedule (of not sleeping Tongue Tied

) and have been doing it by myself ever since. I have to admit, I'm really happy when DH comes home from work, but we do pretty well during the day! GL!!

keg · January 2009

I thought I could do it all, and let me tell you, having help really is a life-saver. My mom was here the first two weeks the girls were home and that was wonderful. Because I was on bedrest for 6 weeks before I delivered, I hadn't had a chance to stock the freezer. She cooked a ton for us and also helped with the babies. She would take a feeding or two during the day so I could get some sleep and I would do the overnight feedings. It also allowed me to get out of the house a couple times with DH since I had been on house arrest for a while. We also have a person that comes in 5 nights a week and that is wonderful. I still get up to pump the nights she's here, but it makes all the difference in the world to get some sleep. I feel so much better during the day and like I can actually enjoy the babies instead of feeling like I have to rush through the feedings so I can try and sleep for an hour. I would agree with the others that say that it would definitely be helpful to have someone around when they hit their due date. I really appreciated the help when we were just home, but they did still act like preemies (they were around 37 weeks when they came home) and basically slept most of the time. Take all the help you can get...I know it's hard, but in the end, I bet you'll appreciate it!

Want a personalized experience?

After giving birth...when did you need the most help?

Re: After giving birth...when did you need the most help?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards