I am so hurt by my mom's reaction

nylagirl · January 2009

For some reason, my mom has always been the Pregnancy Policewoman in my family. I have three older sisters, and I honestly can't remember her ever being just happy for any of them when they got pregnant. Granted, my mom is old-fashioned, and 2 of my sisters got pg while they were engaged (and married shortly thereafter), but still...come on.

Anyway, I just told my mom the news that I'm pg with #2 (btw, I've been happily married for 5 years, we are doing well financially, and we WANT another baby) and her reaction was (in the flattest tone possible): "Oh. Well, are you happy?"

I guess, in her opinion, we should have waited longer to try for #2, but geez... I am almost 33 -- it's not like I have allll the time in the world to grow our family -- and it took me over a year to get pg with #1, so how would I know it would be this easy the 2nd time around?

Sorry, I'm just venting. Really, it's shame on me for expecting her to have some wonderful reaction. After all, she's never even flown here once to see her grandson (not even for when I gave birth). At least my ILs are really sweet about it. Thanks for listening if you even made it this far.

Kflie83 · January 2009

You poor thing. You deserve for your mom to be happy for you. I'd be Pissed!!!

sam19 · January 2009

My dad said the same thing your mom said as well. but he also didn't know we have been TTC and he thought I was still having trouble with my miscarriage. Sorry about your mom not being happy. I hope she'll come around.

SylCar · January 2009

I'm sorry about your mom's comments.

A M · January 2009

That stinks, I'm sorry. But congrats on your new addition-to-be!

Abc123 · January 2009

I just can't imagine this. That sucks. I would be so put out if my family weren't happy for us.

thaira · January 2009

yeah that sucks!!! I have only told my two best friends...One of them I said...I have to tell you something...and she said what are you pregnant(she was kidding) But I said YES!!! No we were not trying but I am happily married. Her reaction was...what are you going to do??? I was thinking...Hello really?? Im going to HAVE A BABY YOU IDIOT!!

JCM052707 · January 2009

That is really too bad. How is she with her grandkids now? I can't imagine my mom reacting like that.

Sorry you're dealing with that! I mean, it's not like you're 18 and got knocked up by accident!

kpeterso76 · January 2009

I'm sorry to hear about your mom's reaction. I think you have every right to be hurt.

I also think she must be nuts not to want to see that gorgeous little Noah in person. He is adorable!

Brownie_222 · January 2009

Dang. I just don't understand when people react that way. Sorry you have to deal with her responding in a neutral/negative way. Sounds like you need someone to say CONGRATS! It'll be great! Stay positive.

*bunny* · January 2009

i am so sorry. i couldn't handle it if my mom reacted thay way. i can't believe she hasn't come to visit noah, that is one very cute little guy. i am however very happy for you that you will soon have the second baby you and your husband want are are happy to be blessed with. i hope she has a change in attitude and expresses some happiness for you. take care

Abc123 · January 2009

JCM052707:
That is really too bad. How is she with her grandkids now? I can't imagine my mom reacting like that. Sorry you're dealing with that! I mean, it's not like you're 18 and got knocked up by accident!

I was 19 when I got k/u by accident and my parents first asked if I knew how I got pregnant (realllll funny huh) and then they were like "I guess we're going to be young grandparents". I may just actually be very blessed when it comes to my parents.

nylagirl · January 2009

Thanks for being so sweet, everybody.

JCM - to answer your question, she is great with the grandkids that live near her. I'm the only one of my family to move away from our hometown (and I went 3000 miles away... hmmm, I wonder why?!?), so she thinks that it's my responsibility (and mine alone) to make sure she sees Noah. I've flown back a few times, but I didn't think it was too much to expect that she would come for his birth (or shortly thereafter) since I had a c-section and was recovering for a while and couldn't travel with a new baby. She does adore him, sends him gifts, etc, but she gives me a lot of guilt trips.

I am just going to focus on being grateful for the support system that I DO have - my sisters, my DH, and his awesome family.

Ingrid&Peter · January 2009

First of all, it sounds like you have a mom like mine. My in laws are great and normal and my mom is always the negative grouch that can't be happy or be happy for anyone else. This time around she is excited cause her grandma clock is ticking, the first few times she was like what ever and literally said WHATEVER. Dont let her ruin your excitement, if she hasn't gone to see the first she's obviously not very interested in grandchildren. This is you and your husbands time and who evers wants to get on the band wagon can and who ever is not buya to ya. Don't let her kill your vibe. Ignore her and enjoy everything this has to offer.

Trust me I have been there for every event in my life. Last month we wanted a dog and she wouldn't even look at the pictures on the internet. So I just learned to ignore her.

Been there.

lilsongbird21 · January 2009

awh...well im happy for you! this is time when a girl needs her mom, im sad she is acting like that(to you and your sis') on a good note, your baby is beautiful and i think you should have more! the world needs more beautiful baby-makers like you!!!

Ingrid&Peter · January 2009

Guilt trips? Honey if they gave frequent flier miles for them I would travel the world my mom is the queen of guilt trips. Do your thing and enjoy with those that wantg to say Congrats

F1tnessG1rl · January 2009

First of all, your son is precioius! I am sorry for her reaction - pretty crappy. She may feel bad about it, too. Maybe the news just threw her off guard. I am almost 33, too. I totally know what you are saying about not having all the time in the world. Here's to a great PG!!!

JamRy · January 2009

I am really sorry. You have every right to be hurt. I am glad to hear that you at least have good ILs who are sweet and excited for you.

ani25 · January 2009

I am sorry she acted this way but don't let her get you down. By the way I think your son is the cutest ever!!!

BonnyDoon · January 2009

So sorry your mom reacted that way. We haven't told our families yet. I'm really afraid my mom is going to say "are you sure you can afford that right now?" She was the one who was bugging me to have kids when we decided to wait for financial reasons when we were in our early thirties...now that we're in our later thirties time is a-ticking...but I still think somehow she will not have a good reaction.

Like you, I know my IL's will be happy. It will be fun to tell them.

borc0080 · January 2009

That is a really crummy reaction! Glad that the ILs somewhat made up for it.

I can't believe she hasn't visited your son -- he is adorable!

kryssy · January 2009

That's awful and I totally feel for you. My mom is not exactly the greatest person in the world either - she didn't even come see me in the hospital when DS was born (and she lived less than a mile away) and actually didn't meet him until he was 6 days old - and only because I brought him to my nephew's birthday celebration! I'm glad your ILs are supportive; I know it helps.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · January 2009

Is she related to the wicked witch of the west? I'm sorry that you don't get the support from her that you should. At least you have you IL's, and also, you're not the only one she's done this to. At this point, since it's been both you and your sisters, I'd just chalk it up to "that's the way she is" and ignore her poor behavior.

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