Being a parent is a privilege, not a right

nictel · January 2009

I've seen a few posts today that claim that everyone has the "right" to be a parent. I have to respectfully disagree. Just because you can have sex and reproduce does not mean you have the skills to be a parent. If you can't take care of your children emotionally or physically, are abusive, etc, you should not have the right to be a parent. Having a uterus should not be the only requirement for motherhood. For *&^(^%$$* sake, you can't adopt a pet without showing you'd be a responsible owner, there should be at least some standard for being a parent.

vent over/

Myheart1297 · January 2009

Well said!

lrrb · January 2009

I agree but I know most people on this board will disagree. When we adopted we were PUT TO THE TEST and I thought WOW if every mom that got pregnant had to have the same requirements to parent her bio child as we did adopting a child...the world would be a much better place haha.

bnsrlb15 · January 2009

amen!

happilyhis · January 2009

I kind of agree, but unfortunately there are no such requirements.

iHeartJoe · January 2009

be that as it may, no one has the right to tell someone whether or not they should be allowed to be a parent! that is just not okay.

southernbelle82 · January 2009

I agree that it is most certainly a privilege. Sometimes I do 'wish' there were 'requirements' but I'm thankful that there aren't. Can you imagine how corrupt that would get?!

caroline:) · January 2009

I agree, but how would you screen?? In a perfect world, but unfortunately people reproduce all the time that have no business being parents.

nictel · January 2009

iHeartJoe:
be that as it may, no one has the right to tell someone whether or not they should be allowed to be a parent! that is just not okay.

Actually, the court system does it all the time...it has probably saved (or at the minimum improved) the lives of some children.

For clarification, I am not suggesting you need to have a certian income or education level to parent. You should however not be abusive, neglectful, endandering, etc.

goodtobethelarkster · January 2009

I agree with your sentiment. Just because you *can* have a kid doesn't mean you should. And there are irresponsible parents running around who wouldn't get approved to get a dog from the pound much less adopt. This is not a good thing.

However, I am not for mandatory birth control based on whether the government (or anyone else) believes that you should be having kids. I think a woman's decision about what to do with her body is absolutely her right. If it can be shown that she is, in fact, doing harm to her kid then steps to remove the child from her custody are appropriate since the child has rights too.

Like the woman who just had octuplets... It's her right to have more kids if she wants them. I think it was a bad decision for her to exercise those rights - if she's living at home with her parents and 6 other kids in a 2 bedroom then having another 8 kids seems to me to be a very, very, very bad decision. But it's her right to make it.

The government needs to stay out of people's uteruses. Unfortunately that means stupid people's uteruses too.

Amrice78 · January 2009

southernbelle82:
I agree that it is most certainly a privilege. Sometimes I do 'wish' there were 'requirements' but I'm thankful that there aren't. Can you imagine how corrupt that would get?!

exactly

citygirl_ · January 2009

goodtobethelarkster:
I agree with your sentiment. Just because you *can* have a kid doesn't mean you should. And there are irresponsible parents running around who wouldn't get approved to get a dog from the pound much less adopt. This is not a good thing.

However, I am not for mandatory birth control based on whether the government (or anyone else) believes that you should be having kids. I think a woman's decision about what to do with her body is absolutely her right. If it can be shown that she is, in fact, doing harm to her kid then steps to remove the child from her custody are appropriate since the child has rights too.

Like the woman who just had octuplets... It's her right to have more kids if she wants them. I think it was a bad decision for her to exercise those rights - if she's living at home with her parents and 6 other kids in a 2 bedroom then having another 8 kids seems to me to be a very, very, very bad decision. But it's her right to make it.

The government needs to stay out of people's uteruses. Unfortunately that means stupid people's uteruses too.

Agreed

Karma1969 · January 2009

I didn't have sex to get pg.

Just saying....

JulyFiveBride · January 2009

goodtobethelarkster:
I agree with your sentiment. Just because you *can* have a kid doesn't mean you should. And there are irresponsible parents running around who wouldn't get approved to get a dog from the pound much less adopt. This is not a good thing.

However, I am not for mandatory birth control based on whether the government (or anyone else) believes that you should be having kids. I think a woman's decision about what to do with her body is absolutely her right. If it can be shown that she is, in fact, doing harm to her kid then steps to remove the child from her custody are appropriate since the child has rights too.

Like the woman who just had octuplets... It's her right to have more kids if she wants them. I think it was a bad decision for her to exercise those rights - if she's living at home with her parents and 6 other kids in a 2 bedroom then having another 8 kids seems to me to be a very, very, very bad decision. But it's her right to make it.

The government needs to stay out of people's uteruses. Unfortunately that means stupid people's uteruses too.

This.

iHeartJoe · January 2009

nictel:
iHeartJoe:
be that as it may, no one has the right to tell someone whether or not they should be allowed to be a parent! that is just not okay.
Actually, the court system does it all the time...it has probably saved (or at the minimum improved) the lives of some children.
For clarification, I am not suggesting you need to have a certian income or education level to parent. You should however not be abusive, neglectful, endandering, etc.

I get that and I agree that people who will be hurtful to their children probably shouldn't reproduce, but as the general public we don't have the right to decide that some random woman doesn't get to be a parent. ITA w/ Larks's 'the government should stay out of our uteruses'....regardless.

emiliemadison · January 2009

Having kids IS a right. I'm glad it's a right. I dont want some powers-that-be telling me that I can or cannot have kids and when or with whom. That is a very slippery slope. I dont want the government making medical choices for me about my body, such as abortion. But if they could outlaw abortion then what's to stop them from mandating abortions? Where would that end?

You have a right to get pregnant when you want, as many times as you want etc. However, the government also has a right to take your kids away if you cannot or will not properly care for your children.?

I agree with your?sentiments, though. ?People who are sh!tty parents SHOULDNT be parents.?

nictel · January 2009

I completely agree that you can't regulate reproduction (nor should you). It just frustrates me to hear news stories about people who are abusive to their children, but think that since they are the biological parents, they have a right to keep their children regardless.

lanie26 · January 2009

emiliemadison:

Having kids IS a right. I'm glad it's a right. I dont want some powers-that-be telling me that I can or cannot have kids and when or with whom. That is a very slippery slope. I dont want the government making medical choices for me about my body, such as abortion. But if they could outlaw abortion then what's to stop them from mandating abortions? Where would that end?

You have a right to get pregnant when you want, as many times as you want etc. However, the government also has a right to take your kids away if you cannot or will not properly care for your children.

I agree with your sentiments, though. People who are sh!tty parents SHOULDNT be parents.

Emilie borrowed my brain again. Look, some people forget that this is an internet website for entertainment and discussion purposes. None of us is instituting new law based on the discussions we have here. So really, it doesn't matter. Everyone has a right to judge someone with 14 kids in a 2 bedroom house living with their parents. I judge people laying in cat piss all morning while their husbands sleep, and I judge people who think they can put basements on rent to own trailers.

CreamPuff06 · January 2009

lanie26:
I judge people laying in cat piss all morning while their husbands sleep, and I judge people who think they can put basements on rent to own trailers.

dang IT I was in the middle of biting a Tootsie Roll and chomped the crap out of my tongue. Fark that hurts, but holy crap I've got tears (pain/laughter) running down my face now. Thanks!

emiliemadison · January 2009

lanie26:
emiliemadison:

Having kids IS a right. I'm glad it's a right. I dont want some powers-that-be telling me that I can or cannot have kids and when or with whom. That is a very slippery slope. I dont want the government making medical choices for me about my body, such as abortion. But if they could outlaw abortion then what's to stop them from mandating abortions? Where would that end?
You have a right to get pregnant when you want, as many times as you want etc. However, the government also has a right to take your kids away if you cannot or will not properly care for your children.?
I agree with your?sentiments, though. ?People who are sh!tty parents SHOULDNT be parents.?
Emilie borrowed my brain again. Look, some people forget that this is an internet website for entertainment and discussion purposes. None of us is instituting new law based on the discussions we have here. So really, it doesn't matter. Everyone has a right to judge someone with 14 kids in a 2 bedroom house living with their parents. I judge people laying in cat piss all morning while their husbands sleep, and I judge people who think they can put basements on rent to own trailers.

OMFG. I forgot about the trailer basement!!! KLASSIC!?

citygirl_ · January 2009

CreamPuff06:

lanie26:
I judge people laying in cat piss all morning while their husbands sleep, and I judge people who think they can put basements on rent to own trailers.

dang IT I was in the middle of biting a Tootsie Roll and chomped the crap out of my tongue. Fark that hurts, but holy crap I've got tears (pain/laughter) running down my face now. Thanks!

Yeah, "basements on rent to own trailers" made me guffaw, actually. Yes, guffaw! It was an ugly noise.

KittenGator · January 2009

I know what you're saying, and I agree, but if that were the case, I wouldn't have my DH, and he is an amazing person. ?So I'm not going to discuss this any further, because I don't know how I fee about it

)

KittenGator · January 2009

goodtobethelarkster:
I agree with your sentiment.? Just because you *can* have a kid doesn't mean you should.? And there are irresponsible parents running around who wouldn't get approved to get a dog from the pound much less adopt.? This is not a good thing.
However, I am not for mandatory birth control based on whether the government (or anyone else) believes that you should be having kids.?I think a woman's decision about what to do with her body is absolutely her right.? If it can be shown that she is, in fact, doing harm to her kid then steps to remove the child from her custody are appropriate since the child has rights too.?
Like the woman who just had octuplets... It's her right to have more kids if she wants them.? I think it was a bad decision for her to exercise those rights - if she's living at home with her parents and 6 other kids in a 2 bedroom then having another 8 kids seems to me to be a very, very, very bad decision.? But it's her right to make it.
The government needs to stay out of people's uteruses.? Unfortunately that means stupid people's uteruses too.

This. Better than I could've said it. As usual...?

KittenGator · January 2009

goodtobethelarkster:
I agree with your sentiment.? Just because you *can* have a kid doesn't mean you should.? And there are irresponsible parents running around who wouldn't get approved to get a dog from the pound much less adopt.? This is not a good thing.
However, I am not for mandatory birth control based on whether the government (or anyone else) believes that you should be having kids.?I think a woman's decision about what to do with her body is absolutely her right.? If it can be shown that she is, in fact, doing harm to her kid then steps to remove the child from her custody are appropriate since the child has rights too.?
Like the woman who just had octuplets... It's her right to have more kids if she wants them.? I think it was a bad decision for her to exercise those rights - if she's living at home with her parents and 6 other kids in a 2 bedroom then having another 8 kids seems to me to be a very, very, very bad decision.? But it's her right to make it.
The government needs to stay out of people's uteruses.? Unfortunately that means stupid people's uteruses too.

This. Better than I could've said it. As usual...?

MrsP825 · January 2009

I could not agree with you more.

breezey2323 · January 2009

I think the title of this post should be: Being a parent SHOULD be a privilage not a right. Because it is a right. No one can take that right away from you, at least not in the good ol USA. Everybody has the right have children and the right to raise them until the prove they're unfit. I don't see how they can regulate such a thing, but it should be thought of as a privilage and a responsiblity. Problem is people all too often don't respect this right.

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