SD (age 3) has an "observation session" for her ballet class at the end of February. It's 30min long & parents/grandparents are invited. SD is scheduled to be with us that week so FI is taking her & BM will meet them there to watch. Both sets of grandparents are going.
FI asked me today if I would be & I don't know what is best. I feel that what BM, FI or myself feels about the situation is irrelevant & should depend on what SD would want. She & I are very close but given her young age she wouldn't realize I wasn't there as I've never been the one to take her to dance; one BM or FI. But at the same time to say BM hates me would be the understatement of the year. We went through a family court evaluator this past year b/c BM objected to 90% of what the court order stated...and used me for almost all her reasonings. I'm afraid she'll act irrational in front of the SD & SS as well as the other parents/children.
Would you go to the recital?
Re: To go or not?
Something I forgot to mention, which may or may not matter, is the BM & I have never met or spoken over the phone. She knows I exist & has known for the past 2 years. She hears all sorts of stuff from SD & SS about me, my job & the things we do together when they our staying with us. About a year ago we had a couple "situations" where she would create fake facebook accounts (felt like it was high school all over again) and would message me saying how horrible FI was & how I was just "a dumb little girl" who didn't know anything b/c I wasn't a mother. She has refered to me in front of the children when speaking to FI as "his bimbo" and worse. Because of this drama I've opted out of being present for exchanges or accompanying him to court during the final stages of the custody agreement. Just didn't want her to make a scene...
Would that change your decision?
Wow, just when I thought I was alone in the craziness I found this board! Lol.
Do you think I should ever just suck it up & "meet" her? My thoughts where to be present at an exchange but not speak unless spoken to. I guess my thoughts were if she saw me she'd get the hint that FI & I are a team. As it stand now FI picks SC up from her house & she, in turn, picks them up from our house (where I stay inside).
Thanks everyone for the advice & reassurance. I shared with FI my thoughts on going & at that point MIL spoke up saying she thinks I'm nuts for "stirring the pot" with my presence. She's convince BM's parents will make a scene if their daughter doesn't. It's a small Rec Council classroom where the kids dance so keeping wide berth may become difficult.
Why oh why must there be crazies in our lives?!