Does this tick off anyone else? Or am I being unfeeling?

Note: I am not in the process of adopting. However, since my dad is adopted, I like to check out this board once in awhile, seeing if I can offer any advice.  Just wanted to explain that :P 

I saw this story in the paper, and it kinda got my blood boiling...wanted to know what others think...I'll just sum it up quickly, as best I can:

-A woman has a baby, puts it up for adoption. During the adoption process, she is asked if there is anyone in her family she would like to consider adopting the child to. She says no, and proceeds with a closed adoption to an unrelated couple.

Baby has been adopted for a few months. Biological mom dies.

Now, biological grandmother is trying to sue for custody. Not for visitation, not for "I want to be a part of this child's life", but as in "I want to raise this child".

What do you think?

I personally don't think it's right, as the other couple is now the girl's parents, and everything was done legally.

I feel for the grandmother, but I don't understand why she's trying to get full-custody...not just "visitation" or whatever you would call it.

I feel terrible for the baby's parents.

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Re: Does this tick off anyone else? Or am I being unfeeling?

  • She doesn't have a leg to stand on, and she's probably ruined her chances of being in this child's life.  Sad. 
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  • I think it's sad, but I can also somewhat see it from the grandmother's point of view. Maybe she didn't want her daughter to put her child up for adoption. Maybe in her grief she feels that getting this child back will "replace" the daughter she has just lost.

    But as the pp noted, she doesn't have a legal leg to stand on and is tearing 2 families apart in the legal process.

    It's a sad situation all around.

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  • Grief is a powerful thing....

    Yes, the g-ma should respect her daughter's wishes...but the g-ma is trying to hold on to her own daughter.  Hopefully, she'll get some much needed grief counseling.

    But thankfully for A-parents, she doesn't have a legal right to the appeal. 

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  • How heartbreaking!!

    I have never been a mother and I have never lost a child and I've never been pregnant so on the one hand I can't personally relate to any individual in this story.  Having said that, I long so much for a child that I think I can relate both to the g-ma's feelings of wanting to hold onto her daughter and to the a-mom's fear of losing hers.  I hope that everyone in this situation gets the support they need.  Legal rights are important and the a-family will weather this storm but what a trauma for everyone!

  • I don't agree with it. IMHO, the birth mother chose the baby's parents for a reason and IMHO, that should be respected... especially since it was all done legally.
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