I have been unemployed since having DD and we are struggling financially. Yesterday I received a job offer. It's great news.
And I felt elated after the phone call. And then I realized that it is the first time I have felt genuinely happy in over a year. The first time in over a year that something really good has happened to me.
And then I realized just how sad I've been. Once I felt the initial excitement wear off, I felt the weight of anger and grief start to settle back onto my shoulders. My old negative feelings were back.
I am really surprised how natural those negative feelings feel. I have been so sad, bitter and hopeless since our first bad ultrasound that I almost can't recognize them as?separate?from me. They have become so integrated into my soul.
I know I need to release this pain but I don't know how. I wish I could go to therapy if I had the time and money. I wish I never had this pain.
How do you do it? ?