rp: looks like I will be a SAHM too... — The Bump
Stay at Home Moms

rp: looks like I will be a SAHM too...

After 16 years of dedicated employment (part time since pregnancy), the small family owned business has sold and I will be out of  a job next week.  I was paid remarkably well, but I earned it :)

So, our special needs situation is this.  My 1 yr old ds has severe food allergies.  Milk, soy, beef, pork, all confirmed.  Also has very severe reactions to corn, corn syrups, peaches, legume family (green beans, peas), rice... you get the idea.  Because of these crazy allergies, he has very limited foods he can actually eat.  He mostly gets his nutrition from Neocate Jr. at this time.  He has lots of problems because of these food allergies... c-diff, candida overgrowth, leaky gut, some internal bleeding and lacerations, possibly EE (an esophogeous disorder).  Leaving him with anyone becomes quite a challenge because 1 goldfish cracker has about an 8 day repercussion period ... ripped skin in the groin, bleeding, purple anus, chuncks of skin pulling of his bum and rectal area, butt crack literally ripping up his back.  You get the picture... not pretty, but not anaphallactic at this point !(thank you god!)  Most people just don't "get-it" and think I am overreacting most of the time.

 

My husband and I strongly believe that there is more to come with him and that the next two years are going to be quite challenging.  We're not sure why we feel this way, but both of us have been feeling a certain "dreading" in our spirit when it came to our son and his medical needs.  I've been feeling called to stay home, but there is no way we ever thought we could afford it.  Now, the employment door has been closed and we are going to step out in our faith and believe God to take care of things.  It's so strange...I so strongly feel that the next two years are going to be so hard for us, but by the age of 6, ds will be fine.  I don't know why I believe this, but I just feel it in my soul!  KWIM?

 

So, now that I am let go from my job, it really isn't going to pay me much to go work somewhere else.  DS is a police officer, so has a very erratic schedule.  And, like I stated before, childcare is so hard with my son...  I think I am going to look at taking a child into my home to watch for a little added income.

 

Thanks for letting me vent and type it all out.  If you made it this far, thank you.   Any words of advice for staying home and helping support your spouse so he doesn't feel so overwhelmed by it all??? 

Re: rp: looks like I will be a SAHM too...

  • Get together a budget and stick to it.  That's the best advice I can offer.
  • image funday:
    Thanks for letting me vent and type it all out.  If you made it this far, thank you.   Any words of advice for staying home and helping support your spouse so he doesn't feel so overwhelmed by it all??? 

    In a mature, loving marriage you'll realize that neither of you have the perfect easy road, and that you both have challenges and rewards about your career or SAH.

    Before I went on maternity leave, DH and I made "promises" to each other.  I wouldn't throw the kids at him as soon as he walked in the door because I needed a break.  He wouldn't walk in and think he got to veg out on the couch for an hour because he had to work and I didn't.  We tried to understand that we were both tired, and help each other.  NOT try to one-up each other and play Who-Had-A-Harder-Day.  Good luck!

    [IMG]http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y96/literal14/215900_1996193387416_1320921820_32377322_5747387_n.jpg[/IMG]
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  • If anyone ever treats you like you are over-reacting, they're heartless because what you described your little man going through breaks my heart, it sounds so painful. 

    You and DH just need to work together day to day, give each other free time out of the house w/out the little man and try (it's hard) NOT to compare/compete for who has the harder job.  His job provides for the life you have and yours gives it meaning.

  • YOU CAN DO IT!! I know the change is scary. I never thought I would be a SAHM so I was so afraid of the change. Just remember that there will always be good and bad days and it is what you make of it. You can really enjoy it and make it work financially if you put your mind to it and really look at your expenses and be willing to move if necessary. Good luck to you and welcome!
  • You sound like such a "strong" person and it seems your Faith has and will continue to bring you so much more strength!  You guys can do this if you just sit down, evaluate your variable and non-variable expenses/bills as compared to your income to see if you can do it or how much you are short.  Cut out what you don't need first off and then, cut back as much as you can on things you can live without.  Maybe also make a plan on how you can bring in money, maybe working evenings and weekends!  :)

    Welcome to the board and very best of luck!!!  :)

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

  • If you're thinking about watching another child, you might be able to be a huge blessing to someone else in the same situation. I bet if you advertise far and wide about your experience with allergies, there will be a mom of another kid with allergies out there desperately in need of someone to watch her child that she can trust.
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