Moms of 2 or more & had a baby in NICU

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Was your first DC able to see the baby?  My baby has a heart defect and will go right to NICU after birth.  I had a tour of the unit on Friday and learned DD will not get to see the baby because they don't allow anyone under 16 in the NICU. 

This made me very sad.  I guess I had hoped DD would get to meet her sibling - I won't even be able to show her through the glass due to how the rooms are set up.  I know it will be a change for DD having the baby to begin with but then not being able to see the baby?  I suppose we can video tape the baby and show DD.  Maybe I am overreacting and it won't even be a big deal to DD.  Anyone experienced this?

Mrs Manners

It would make me sad...but you're right - it probably won't be that big of a deal to her. The video is a good idea. I also found our NICU to be much more flexible once we got to the step-down unit.

Mrs Manners

Oh...and you might also try posting this on the preemie board because I bet some of the ladies over there have experienced it.

rach&jay

Our situation was not quite the same.  Sydney and I came home to Riley and DH on the Monday after Syd was born.  The following Monday Sydney was admitted into the PICU for 3 1/2 weeks due to RSV.    Riley was shuttled around between family members and didn't know where Mommy was and what happended to the baby.... we just rode it out as best we could.  I think it made it easier because Riley didn't have much concept of time.

I certainly understand your sadness about your situation.  How long do they anticipate your baby being in the NICU?  How will you and your DH have to handle it - I mean will you get to stay with the baby or will you go home each night? 

I think even if you get pics or video, your DD won't get it.  I think it makes more sense not to rock your DDs life too much until there is no choice - like when the baby comes home. 

I'm sorry, I don't know if you posted about your baby before this and I missed a post. 

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I haven't really posted about this before, only when I had my 20 week u/s and learned of the defect. 

 I am hoping that DD's age is a benefit.  I think she will more want to see me and she will be able to come to L&D to visit me.  As for how long the baby wil lbe in the NICU we aren't sure.  It is more for moinitoring - making sure the baby is eating okay and not having any heart failure.  I am hoping that the baby does well enough to come home with me (I'll be having a c/s) or not longer than a week.   The surgery won't be for a few months, so we will have time to work out a schedule for that. 

rach&jay

Wow, I'm sorry for all of that.  I hope everything works out and your baby comes home quickly with you. 

So I assume that since the baby will be in the NICU they won't be bringing the baby to your room - then would be a nice time for your two DCs to meet.  But that doesn't seem like that is going to happen.

How are you holding up with all of this news?  You and your DH must be well, scared.  Have the doctors told you what to expect once you are all home? 

Benjen

My son didn't see my daughter until I came home with her.  They didn't recommend having other children around her just in case she got sick (even though my son is home with me and not in daycare).

Its very hard, all of it.  I put my faith in the Dr's and let them take the best care of her possible.  We had our own celebration when we got home.

Not overreacting, just try and do something special when you come home.  Lots of luck with everything!

PrincessX

DD #1 was 2 when DD #2 was born at 32 weeks.  DD #2 spent a month in the NICU.

DD #1 had to get the chicken pox vaccine in order to visit.  We had no advance notice that DD #2 would arrive so early, and the vaccine takes 2 weeks to become effective.  We had DD #1 vaccinated right away, but by the time she could visit, we decided not to bring her in to the NICU anyway.

 DD #2 was doing well by that point and there were other very ill infants - the NICU is not a very private place.  We decided not to bring DD #1 in to visit - too many important wires & cords to be around a 2-year-old.  Plus other NICU parents are dealing with difficult issues.

The 2 DD's finally met when DD #2 came home after 4 weeks in NICU - which was still 4 weeks earlier than they were supposed to meet, had DD #2 stuck to her due date anyway.

Px

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rach&jay:

How are you holding up with all of this news?  You and your DH must be well, scared.  Have the doctors told you what to expect once you are all home? 

 We are holding up okay.  We've known since 20 weeks and I have been having monthly echo cardiograms on the baby's heart.  It is scary.  DH feels better after seeing the surgeon Friday and the tour.  I'm still freaked out.  The drs. will go over what to watch for when we get home and the baby will have frequent visits before the surgery happens.  The surgery has a success rate of 98%, so that is positive.  We are embarking on a journey we never expected, but I guess no-one plans for these things. 

 BTW we don't know the baby's sex and Sydney is one of our top girl name picks! 

juju

Hi

I am a mom of a dd with Heart defects if you ever need to talk .

Here is my

email julia 1779 @ yahoo. or page me.

DandR

honestly, I would be ok with that...our NICU DID allow us to bring in the older girls, and they were actually terrrified by the wires/tubes and such....it wasn't a good experience for them at all...not the ideal first meeting you hope for.  Take pictures, your kid will be fine not seeing the baby.

KoriBrett

siblings of the baby in the nicu are allowed. ?dd visited daily with dh, helped feed ds a bottle when he was off the feeding tubes, etc. ?