Hmm DD went through a phase where she would freak out, but not get sick. Our ped actually suggested getting her a dvd player so she could focus on one thing and take her mind off of it. Do they make sea bands for kids? Maybe try that?
DS gets extremely carsick, and it is H3LL on earth, so I completely understand what you are going through. One thing that helped a lot was getting DS a DVD player - when he is looking at that and not looking out the side window, he doesn't get sick quite as easily. Also, we have given him Dramamine and also our pedi suggested Benadryl. The dramamine definitely worked better than the Bendaryl, but it made him really sleepy, so when we stop for lunch, we look like the bad parents with the drunk kid. It was worth it to avoid most of the puking though. We also try to keep cool air circulating on him (not as easy here in the winter), but it seems to help. We also stop every time he gets 'the look' and let him walk around for a while outside - that seems to help too.
It is completely miserable to spend a 5-7 hour trip in the car, turned around facing backward so that you can catch any puke in the receiving blanket. We literally bring a whole bag of blankets because we go through so many. Yuck.
Re: carsick toddler?