wow re: bluesmoothie post

Purrrfect433

I cannot believe some of you are judging a grieving mother for having a picture of her stillborn child in her siggy. I am probably more judgmental than the next gal but it's pretty appalling to read those negative posts regarding her picture. I think Krisbri said it best: that is her child! The picture makes me completely uncomfortable, but I can still see the beauty in it. It makes me feel empathy first and foremost. I feel so sad for that poor woman and happy that she was able to have a picture of her sweet baby born to Heaven. Some of you on here could seriously take a lesson in how to be more empathetic.

j-w

Is it automatically judging to say that something makes you uncomfortable to look at?  Judging, to me, would be to say 'man that woman is wacked to have that as her siggy.'  Everything I saw was more along the lines of 'it makes me uncomfortable, I don't like seeing it.'

Jen2124

I got the impression they were more commenting on the fact she put it in a public message board. I see both sides. I did have a m/c, too....but I still see their point.

LittleMamaB

So, because I don't like the picture, I'm not empathetic? You could not be more wrong. I feel very much for anyone who has suffered a loss. Pictures like that should be kept private unless someone wants to see them.

Fantastic that you didn't mind, but it's just not something I was prepared to see, and it's not something I want to see.

eclaires

I have typed, and deleted now twice.

I think I've found my line.  I will be grateful that I've never had to go through a m/c, hug Jackson and just back away from that post.  It's making me feel icky just reading it.

So, fellow nesties, I do have a heart, and a line.  This is it.  I will not flame people for sigs following m/c or how they deal with their m/c.  

Now if it's a faux m/c?  All bets are off.

Jodi&Joe

I have empathy for her BECAUSE she has that as her sig pic.

She clearly needs some help.  Not a single sane person would put a pic of a 15w fetus as their SIG PIC.  Sure, maybe take a picture for your own purposes.  But good God --- have some tact!

And it's not that I'm disturbed one single iota by the image --- I'm disturbed that someone would think it's appropriate and necessary to put it as a sig pic.

 

I, for one, do not lack empathy in the least. 

FaeryStarGazer

This is how I see it, even though it is shocking and I personally couldn't use that picture, it reminds me how lucky I was to carry my babies as long as I did. At 15w, I was in the throws of HEG and didn't think any of us would survive. Seeing someone grieve for their baby that they lost at that point makes me so glad that I kept on going, that I didn't give up on me or the babies. I can't even imagine the heartbreak of losing.

eshaffer

Like a PP said, we weren't flaming her for the pic, just said it doesn't belong as a siggy for the entire world to see.

Leave it to you Purfff to jump all over this. Oh that's right, but you called me a C*nt not long ago, so I should have expected nothing less from you.

Purrrfect433

LOL, Jodi. You have empathy for her because you think she's lost her mind? Thank-you for justifying this post in my mind.

HasteTheDay

I don't think it's ok to post a picture like that in your signature. I honestly think it's disrespectful and hurtful to the other moms on the board. I feel awful for her and that she had this miscarriage, but I still don't think it's even right to post a picture like that. It's hard for other mothers to have to see that. There are healthy ways to grieve and unhealthy ways (that hurt other people in the meantime).?

FaeryStarGazer

And another thing (so I sound like your mom yet?):

She is a poster on a loss board, not on a parenting board, or a TTC board... She is in the company of people who understand her loss, so while it isn't sane to a lot of other people, it doesn't make it wrong. It's about knowing your audience and the audience there isn't disturbed by it.

newwifey

I really couldn't be more empathetic for her. I still think the picture is completely inappropriate. Sorry.

jaredswife

I dont judge her at all.  The picture does make me uncomfortable but that is all.  I cannot imagine how she feels, or what it feels like to lose a baby,  so I dont judge her for how she grieves. 

Purrrfect433

Also, need I remind you that you are posting about THREE different people who aren't even on this board? Ahhhh, the nest. Always someone here to justify your bitchiness. And, eshaffer? You are many other things besides.

pincushion

I am sorry for her loss. I have also suffered a loss and understand people grieve differently. I guess I just don't understand her need to post a photo on a public message board for the world to see... literally.

 

Sahara6971

The picture is creepy. That would be like me putting a picture of my mom on here right after she died. Nobody does that. Sorry, just my opinion.

Eddy1

FaeryStarGazer:

 

She is a poster on a loss board, not on a parenting board, or a TTC board... She is in the company of people who understand her loss, so while it isn't sane to a lot of other people, it doesn't make it wrong. It's about knowing your audience and the audience there isn't disturbed by it.

Well your right except that their are woman who go on there after a loss and have no idea that they will see that picture. I can see how it would be VERY disturbing to lose a baby and then without warning see that picture. For that reason I think it is very selfish to have a picture in your sig. The reason I don't like this picture has nothing to do with me, but it has everything to do with feeling bad for a woman who is "forced" to see that picture after going through a loss themselves.

DaiLyght

FaeryStarGazer:

It's about knowing your audience and the audience there isn't disturbed by it.

Actually, some of them are. 

KoriBrett

To me it's like any other death.  If I put a picture of my dad in my sig, deceased and in a casket, that would be a bit odd and unsettling, would it not?  (there aren't any, he was cremated, I'm just making a point here)

Same as a deceased fetus/baby.  Odd and unsettling.  If that's what someone needs to do to get through the day - more power to them.  But I don't particularly want to see pictures of dead people while I'm at work, so I would block that person so I don't see it.  I also haven't clicked on the link - because I don't want to see it.

 

KrisBriMcBunny

she posted the pic in her sig for the same freaking reason y'all post pics of your kids in your sig.

eshaffer

Purrrfect433:

 And, eshaffer? You are many other things besides.

 Oh good, at least the feeling is mutual then. 

FaeryStarGazer

DaiLyght:

FaeryStarGazer:

It's about knowing your audience and the audience there isn't disturbed by it.

Actually, some of them are. 

Then that is for them to talk to her about. I see there is a poll going on about it, so they are taking the matter into their own hands.

kjlrs

honestly, i find it inappropriate to put pictures of any dead bodies on the internet. so does most of our society. even when news outlets have pictures of accident victims, etc, they still don't post them because they're graphic and disturbing. if somebody wants to post a picture of their dead baby and label it as a picture of their m/c or stillborn, then super. i completely understand having the pictures and keeping them for your own viewing because it is your child, just like you said. however, i still find it odd to continually post pictures of a dead body and i dont think i'm mean for saying it.

LittleMamaB

KrisBriMcBunny:

she posted the pic in her sig for the same freaking reason y'all post pics of your kids in your sig.

Sorry, krisbi, but there is a difference. I wouldn't want to see pictures of someone dead in a coffin either. 

KrisBriMcBunny

I dont wanna see some sigs of ugly kids but you dont see me raising a stink about it!

KittyKatBrat

How would you feel if I posted a sig pic of my 9 week m/c that I passed?  Would that be ok?  It was my child.

But you have to have respect for others in pain also.  Looking at a full term baby who passed is a lot different.

 I bet those who think its ok have really big issues looking at aborted babies.

magnoliablossom

LittleMamaB:

KrisBriMcBunny:

she posted the pic in her sig for the same freaking reason y'all post pics of your kids in your sig.

Sorry, krisbi, but there is a difference. I wouldn't want to see pictures of someone dead in a coffin either. 

I agree.  Sorry KrisBri.   It isn't the same. 

I feel bad for her, but it just isn't appropriate.

Bride2b2004

I totally agree.  I can't believe how many snarky comments people take the time to type up and post about this poor grieving mother.  Ironically, everyone posting here has a sig pic with a beautiful healthy child.  *Try* to put yourself in this other person's shoes.  This is all she HAS of her child, which, to her, is beautiful. 

It isn't like she is sending you an email.  She has it in her signature and she posts on a pregnacy loss boards.  Have some compassion.  Just scroll past... if you are even on that board at all (which most of you don't even go there and only got involved in this because BlueSmoothee decided to amuse herself on the pregnancy loss board). 

shopgirl78

The picture doesn't bother me in the slightest, there is a lot ?out there, pictures of all sorts of misformed, deceased babies. ?It's sad but its real. ?Many people take pictures of their stillborns in fact, it's part of the healing process and there is a whole non-profit org set up to support it: ?Now I Lay me Down to Sleep is pro photogs taking free pro pictures of decease and "not compatible with life" babies, just before death. ?

Oh and I would rather see nature's rath than any aborted baby anyday. ?

I think it would be just as inappropriate for me to post on the loss board (as I have not suffered one)....

?