Pregnant after newborn loss — The Bump
January 2014 Moms

Pregnant after newborn loss


I am a third time pregnant mom
One 32 weeker preemie now 8 yrs old
One full term son died at 10 days to heart defect
Now pregnant due Jan 2014 with our miracle baby
Have been through a lot

When I tell folks we are pregnant
The response is 'good luck' and 'hope it works out' etc
Not Congrats
I feel so short changed

My mother in law said that she could not help with this pregnancy as if I want her help because the probability that this baby would die too is too hard for HER to handle

It is really weird being excited about this pregnancy as no one else but my hubby and daughter are

I feel like I am being punished

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Re: Pregnant after newborn loss

  • Well, I will say it! Congrats! Welcome, I hope you can find support here and that you get your miracle rainbow baby!
    Married 5.16.10 Kaia Helene born 8.23.12 Soren Noble due 1.20.14

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  • Congratulations!!  You will definitely find support here.  It's an exciting thing!  It must be really frustrating to have everyone being so negative.

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  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby, and that your MIL said that to you. It was inappropriate for her to even throw that in your face and place her feelings above yours when it comes to losing your own child.

    But this is a new start and your baby has as good a chance as any and you deserve to be happy, so congratulations! =)


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    PCOS diagnosed secondary infertility

    BFP #1 (letrozole 2.5mg + ovidrel) February 2016, MMC April 2016 @ 7 weeks

    BFP #2 (letrozole 5mg + ovidrel) July 2016, Beta #1 359, Beta #2 745, Beta #3 11484

    EDD April 9th, 2017

  • I am so sorry your MIL said that to you. How horrible and selfish of her.

    I think I said it in your other thread, but just in case I didn't - a big congrats!

    July 2015 Jan Siggy Challenge: Snow Fails/Funnies

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    BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15

    BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014

    BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)

    BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011

    BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
     
    "Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just
    take another shot."

  • First, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. But welcome to the board and congratulations!

    Second, I am so sorry people are making you feel that way. You will not find that here. You will find support and well wishes here, I am certain of that.

    Third, does your MIL intend to ignore you for the entire pregnancy? I'm not sure what to even make of her comment. I don't know if you have the type of relationship where you could suggest that she read something, but I read this the other day and thought of my own mother. When I had a pregnancy loss, she complained to me about how hard it was for her to watch her daughter experience a loss. I am certain that it was, but I really felt it took away from any support that she had provided up to that point because of the fact that she expected me to somehow comfort her at my worst moment. It was a very difficult dynamic for a couple of weeks. My point is, people say some awful things because they don't realize how hurtful it is. A girl on a different board posted this article last week, and it really resonated with me. If I ever go through something like that again, I will be sending it to my mother. Here it is: Comfort In, Dump Out.

    But back to my original sentiment, we are happy to have you here with us! 


    HappyDocashybear
  • Well congratulations to you!

    I am very sorry for your loss, and that people are making such careless and hurtful comments. You are growing ANOTHER beautiful miracle and that is something to be proud of and excited about!

    I hope your family and friends come to their senses and embrace your pregnancy and show you the support you need.
    <3 DCRider
    Baby girl due 1/22/14!
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  • Congratulations on your pregnancy!

     

    I am so sorry for the loss of your infant.   

    DS1 born 3/27/12 DS2 due 1/8/14
  • I'm so sorry for your loss, but...

    Big CONGRATULATIONS!! on this pregnancy! Your baby deserves to be celebrated and joyfully anticipated; you'll definitely get support here! ::hug::

    peace,
    katharine

    Book-Kitten blog

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  • Congrats!

    I'm sorry for your previous loss and I'm sorry more people aren't more excited and supportive. It's a shame! If anything you need more support not less! Well, us bumpies are here! 

    Baby #1 DS born August 2012
    Baby #2 DD Born January 2014
    Baby #3 ?? Due June 5 2015


  • Congratulations & here's wishing you a happy & healthy pregnancy!

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    My 2 December boys

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  • Welcome and I am so sorry for your loss! CONGRATS are definitely in order and I'm so sorry that people aren't responding to you the way that you deserve. I wish you all the best for a happy and healthy 9 months and a beautiful healthy baby on the other side.
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    Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14

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  • I am so sorry you are not getting the congratulations you deserve! Congratulations congratulations congratulations! Welcome to the January 2014 baby board, I wish you the very best!
                                                                                                                         

    December Siggy Challenge: Love Actually

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    Married DH: April 21 2012 // Expecting our first: Jan 20 2014
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  • Welcome and congrats! I had no words for your MIL. You might find the Loss board or the Pregnant After a Loss board also helpful. Loss is for later term or infant losses (not early miscarriages). Pregnant After a Loss will cover all women who are currently pregnant after any loss. Of course though, you are welcome here. Many of us frequent many boards for different kinds of advice.

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. But I'm excited you're here to join the board! I hope this can be a positive space for you! Congrats!
    _______________________________________________________________
    DS1 - 08.08.08   DS2 - 05.02.10

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  • Welcome! Congrats! This is so mean of your MIL. I understand it is hard on her, but it is harder on you. Please find support in the rest of your family and friends that are actually really happy for you and understand the importance of this baby for your family. 

    I am really happy for you and wish you happy and healthy pregnancy and a little bundle of joy that will have a long and happy life. BEST OF LUCK AND CONGRATS!  

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I get ya - I lost my last baby at 34 weeks this past August, and a lot of people have said more "good luck" than "congrats".

    But I'm happy you're here and wish you all the congrats in the world!!

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry that those around you are being such downers. Congrats on your pregnancy!   I also wanted to share that the Pregnant after a Loss board is great!
    Anniversary

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • First, I'm so sorry for your loss. Glad you found us and Congrats welcome!
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  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby.   I can't believe your MIL's reaction.  That was very inappropriate and extremely hurtful to you.



    I do have to say congrats and welcome!
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    Baby Chugging born 12.28.13
    induction due to HELLP
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  • Hugs!! Wishing you all the best with this pregnancy

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  • I am very sorry for your losses and I am also sorry about the responses that you have gotten from people in real life.  Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the board!
  • First and foremost, a huge CONGRATULATIONS are in order for you and your family! This is a happy time in your life, don't let people get you down.

     I also had an infant loss and my son died after 6 days of being alive in August of 2012. I also hear more negative then positive and it really hurts. My parents are the ones that are giving me zero support. I have decided that I need to surround myself with positive people and avoid the negative ones. It hurts even more when it is your inlaws or parents.

     I am glad you found this board and I am looking forward to celebrating this pregnancy with you. If you ever need to vent, private message me.



    http://wwwcirillofamily.blogspot.com/

    BFP#1 12/23/11 EDD 8/29/12. Frank P. Cirillo IV born on 8/19/12 at 2:34am. Grew his wings and went to heaven on 8/25/12.
    My sweet angel Frankie. Love you so much!

    BFP #2 5/21/13 EDD 1/25/14 Sam Frank P. born 1/17/14 Our rainbow baby is here!!

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  • Like others have said here: Congrats!!! I'm excited for you and pray that this baby bring you nothing but joy. Welcome to the Jan 14 board. 

    I have a friend with a similar history as you and she also got some of these same reactions when she got pregnant for the third time. People are so insensitive. If anything you need more support and encouragement, not less!

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    Married October 2009. Me 29 H 28.
    After 1 year of infertility, our little miracle was conceived via our 3rd IUI on May 5, 2013.
    Holland Sophia was born Jan 24, 2014.
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  • Congrats to you!!! You sound like such a strong momma! I wish you the best! Ignore all the stupid comments..enjoy your pregnancy!
  • Congrats to you!! That's so sucky the way you are being treated.
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  • Congrats on being pregnant again. I had a full term loss in November. My son only loved 15 hours. It is such a sensitive thing and people say such stupid things. My MIL sounds like your MIL. Mine keeps talking about how much she misses my DS and how hard this is for her. I'm really trying to be positive and enjoy this. I want to bond and be excited for this baby. 
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial ticker
    Due with baby boy # 2 in May 2016
    DD #1 born January 2014

  • Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sure that your loss was devastating to you and your entire family. I hope your mother in law and others can find it in themselves to celebrate and be happy for you

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  • Wow. That is terrible. Each pregnancy is different. We lost out child last pregnancy at 25 weeks, and I would punch someone in the face if they said that to me. Enjoy your pregnancy. Thoughts and prayers
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • First I want to extend my sympathy on the loss of your baby boy. It breaks my heart to hear of your loss.

    However, I am so glad for you that you get a third opportunity to be a mom congratulations!!!! I hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy, and hopefully others who have been less than supportive will grow to embrace this special gift.
    Baby Boy #2
    Due Date 11/10/16
  • KismcKismc member
    Congratulations! Please try not to let anyone else take away from your excitement. I'm glad you have your husband and daughter to lift your spirits!
    I am so sorry for the loss of your little one!
    And welcome to the January board!

  • My mom had multiple miscarriages and also suffered a newborn loss. The Drs told her she would never have a successful pregnancy. Over the next few years, she had my older brother and me. Miracles happen ever day. So sorry that people aren't sharing in your excitement as they should be. But, congratulations!! 
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  • I'm so sorry you've been getting this reaction, especially from your MIL. Congratulations and welcome to this board, we are all happy and excited for you!

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    Diagnosed with PCOS June 2010, TTC#1 since May 2012
    Cycle#1-3 Clomid 50mg + TI= No response
    Cycle#4-5 Clomid 150mg + Metformin 1000mg + TI= BFN, but finally ovulation!!!
    Cycle #6 Clomid 150mg + Metformin 1500mg + IUI(4/15)= BFP!!! EDD 01/06/2014 <br>

    Stella Margaret arrived on December 21, 2013!

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  • Well, WE are excited for you.  Congratulations!
    Lilypie - (bDmZ)Lilypie - (SUYh)
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  • Congrats and welcome to this board. 
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  • km_mdkm_md member
    Congratulations on your pregnancy!! I'm so so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry for the struggles you are having right now. I don't know if anyone has mentioned it but check out the after loss boards here pgal for example. The communities are wonderful and super helpful. And that is not to say that the bmbs aren't but I've just really met some amazing women in the after loss community so I always recommend them to others.


  • Congratulations! I am so happy for you, and so sorry for your loss. I am praying for you that you have a healthy baby and a wonderful pregnancy.
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  • Congrats and welcome! I am so sorry for your loss. You and this baby deserve to feel special just as much as any other mom and baby. People don't watch what comes out of their mouths but this is one of the most selfish things that I have heard. We are excited to have you!
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers


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  • YAAAYYY!!! Congrats! SO happy for you! People are just insensitive and selfish which doesn't make it right, but helps perspective on how much thought to give their comments. Just create your own happy and excited bubble with your little family and enjoy every minute! I am so happy for your miracle :)
  • I am in a similar situation. I lost my son at 2 days due to a genetic defect we knew nothing about. And my mother says she can't come for the birth because it was to hard the first time. I'm still technically a new mom. I have only changed one diaper as my hubby did most of them in the two days we had Kaidin and the nurses did the rest. Also do you ever wonder if your baby in utero now will look like your one that passed. I also wonder how I would feel if it wasn't a boy as I would have to get rid of all the boy stuff i never used from Kaidin. Sorry I'm rambling just nice to talk to someone who has any idea of how you would feel!
  • Congrats!!! Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy!

    Baby Lexi: BFP: May 12, 2013 (Mother's Day), EDD: January 21, 2014
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