What should SD call my parents?

HoolyGo

I only bump on mobile so I can't search. I'm sorry if this has already been covered. SD currently calls my parents Hooly's Mommy and Hooly's Papa. She even calls them this to get their attention or talk directly to them. My parent's are not okay with her calling them by their first names, but also feel like Mr./Mrs. Lastname is too formal given their grandparentlike relationship with her they see her about twice a month, have babysitted, and keep toys at their house for her. Should we just let it go and let her come up with something at some point? What do your Skids call your parents? She's 3 if that makes a difference in your opinion.

Valie18

Hi, I randomly ended up on this board after a weird email last week.

I'm a grand-step-daughter-in-law (I think). We call them Granny and Grandad. It's actually kind of neat because none of our other grandparents go/went by these. Granny and Grandad love it and so do we. 

cole2144

My step-daughter calls my parents, mom-mom and pop. They spend a lot of time with her and treat her like their grandchild. Now just to be clear SD calls me by my first name.

MommyEllenSue

My SS6 and SD6 call my parents Marmee and Pepa just like the rest of the grandkids do. My parents also tell everyone the SK's are their grandkids and treat them as such.

mom2one

DS calls his stepmother's parents by first names.

HisChamaoleGirl

SS lives with BM's mom with his BM and has always called her Grandma. He calls DHs mom Grandma + town she lives in. When he met my mom he called her Grandma first name and her husband Grandpa first name. SS has no other grandfathers and this arrangement has never bothered any parties involved. It works for us so thats what we are going with.

SimpleJane

My kids call Js parents by their first name. His mom pushes them to call her Mimi, and her husband Grampa FN, but its never stuck. When they met them they were introduced by first name, so that's what stuck.

I think its fine if you come up with grand parent names for them, but it may not stick, depending on how long she's been calling them what she is now.

Littlejen22

Do they have other grand kids? If yes then ask her if she would like to call them what the others call them. If not I would try to come up with a grandparent nickname that is different than what she calls her other grandparents.

twister22

DS(4.5) calls DH's parents Grandma & Grandpa. Although, he also calls DH Daddy. After BD & XG had a LO together and were still dating DS called XG's mom Granny. That bothered me only because they weren't married. When BD gets married I think it's fine/appropriate for DS to call his SM's parents by a grandma & grandpa nickname.

AlwaysForgetful

My kids call their step grandpa Pa, just like the other 2 grand kids. They were 1,2, and 3 at the time they met him. They do not have a grandma on that side (passed away).

When DH and I had our daughter, we were at a loss what to do with my Ex and his mother. Ex's mother drives him. My ex has supervised visits. So we are all here together. DH did not really care what our daughter called her. We decided my ex would be Uncle K since we do have a pretty good relationship. We asked my Ex MIL and she said if we were ok with our daughter calling her Oma (what the boys call her) then she is all for it. So that is what our daughter calls her. *sighs* now if they would just see the  kids more (so far 5 times this year). That is another story though.

Ginlyn0

Littlejen22:

Do they have other grand kids? If yes then ask her if she would like to call them what the others call them. If not I would try to come up with a grandparent nickname that is different than what she calls her other grandparents.

This! My DD and my SKs call their step-grandparents the same name everyone else uses. They are all different names though.

HoolyGo

gin9874:

Littlejen22:

Do they have other grand kids? If yes then ask her if she would like to call them what the others call them. If not I would try to come up with a grandparent nickname that is different than what she calls her other grandparents.

This! My DD and my SKs call their step-grandparents the same name everyone else uses. They are all different names though.

They do not have other grandchildren, though I'm pregnant, and due in August. They have picked grandparent names that they'd like the baby to use, though they've acknowledged that that may not work out how they want.

Anyway, my dad has picked Grandpa, which is what SD calls her bio grandpa. I'm not going to ask my Dad to pick another grandparent name because SD already calls someone that. I personally had more than one Grandpa, but I know some people feel like everyone should have individual names. My mom picked Meemaw, which SD's other 3 grandmothers don't use.

+just+j+

Has your mother suggested anything?  I would say the same as your children.

Personally, when XSD had her baby, I asked not to be called a grandmother. I wasn't ready to be a grandmother, having only a 1 year old at the time and in my arly 40's.  I asked that they come up with another name for me other than grandma. Or "Gamma" as XSD was insisting on.   I was fine with my name,  NaNaJ, Nonny, JJ, anything other than a clear grandmother name.  I told XH and XSD that "Grandma" or "Gamma" was BM. Not me. Please come up with something else.  They got upset, but things were pretty rocky then and looking back, I knew things were ending and I also did not want to deal with the wrath of BM if she found out I was being called that.  She would have pitched a fit. SD was putting me in a bad spot and she knew it I think.

If DD has stepkids (and I pray after my experience she does not or it is completely different than mine) I probably won't be such a hardass and allow them to call me grandmother. But not just my first name.   

AmeliaKris

My skids call my parents grammie Kay and grandpa Ryan. Their other grandparents are just grandma and grandpa. They were 8 and 10 when they met them Fwiw.

docco11

Why do they not want to be called by their first names?  Out of respect or because they want to have a closer relationship?

We called our step-grandparents by their first name.  They are our grandparents, no question about it, but for some reason we never gave them another name or thought anything of it.

HoolyGo

docco11:

Why do they not want to be called by their first names?nbsp; Out of respect or because they want to have a closer relationship?We called our stepgrandparents by their first name.nbsp; They are our grandparents, no question about it, but for some reason we never gave them another name or thought anything of it.

My parents are a little old school in that they don't really enjoy small children calling them by their first names. In my family, even older cousins are referred to as "cousin NAME", rather than just their first name and older family friends are called auntie or uncle. Growing up, I even had some people with grandmother/grandfather type nicknames who were not technically family members. I will say that my father feels more strongly about this than my mother.

BM also doesn't love for SD to call older adults my their first names, so my parents' feelings on this coincide with BM. DH doesn't really care either way.

MrsHetzel

When this LO comes, my parents as first time grandparents will be called Nana and Grandpa. Because they haven't been called this yet, it was a little weird for SD in the beginning. It wasn't really until we got married that SD actually said "I guess I'll call her grandma now right?" And we said if you're comfortable, she'll actually be a Nana someday so you can call her that if you like. SD already has a nana so when we refer to my mom we call her Nana Dxxxx. And my dad we actually call him Grandpa Big Txx because if you've ever seen the show The Middle, they call their grandfather Grandpa Big Mike so we thought it was funny and it was a good way to break the ice with using the familiar terms. And it stuck. So now SD is still shy about calling my mom Nana but she happily calls my dad Grandpa Big Txx!

PrettyInPearls23

DS calls DH's parents Grandma Lori and Grandpa Mark. He's a very blessed little boy and has 13 grandparents & great-grandparents between mine, DH's and XH's families and not one of them is called the same thing.

flyingsaucer

My SS used to call my pare to by their first names, but now that we have had more kids, he calls them what his little bro and sis call them "Bubbie" (Jewish/Yiddish word for grandma) and Grandpa First Name.  DH's parents are Grandma and Papa

Mrs.H.

if your parents are John and Mary Smith then I suggest Grandma and Grandpa Smith.

That's how my SS refers to my parents