Mums being in delivery room?

bellamatson · July 2013

I love my mum to death, and she is the best woman I know. My parents adopted me at 10 days old, and have given me the best life ever. My mum was ttc for about 3 years before they decided on adoption, and never got to experience pregnancy or birthing a child.
With that said, even though this whole process gives me loads of anxiety, and she is the hyper type that I clash with when I am not feeling good, I want to give her a chance to experience it.

Well, I keep having second thoughts. I like silence when I am in pain or my nerves are going off, and her and my DH talk my ear off at all the appointments. It's cute to see how excited they are, but extremely annoying as well.
I am having this baby at her hospital which she works at barrows, st joes so she will be there the entire time.

Think it would hurt her feelings and make her resent me if I changed my mind about her being in there? I just see it making things more uncomfortable for me.

forevergraceful · July 2013

You still have plenty of time to think about it and decide. You have the right to change your mind too. If you think it will make you uncomfortable or add more stress to you, then there is no reason why you should feel bad about not having her there.

For me, I am completely uncomfortable with my mother being in the room. It'll just be my husband and medical personnel.

FSUNole31 · July 2013

I love my mom and we are super close, but she has no desire to be in the delivery room and I am more than happy about it. Do what you are most comfortable with!

tesskerr · July 2013

Could you labour without her, then when it is time to push she could come in to see that baby being born?

bellamatson · July 2013

In going to try my best. But she and my DH annoyed the hell out of me when I was getting my NT scan done last week. I think she is just soooooo excited, she can't control herself or her chatter. Lol

blue_elle · July 2013

You've got time to make a final decision on this, but I would try to avoid waiting until last minute to tell her you're rethinking having her in. Once the time gets here, and if you're feeling comfortable and up to it, you can always invite her in while you're laboring, but ask for privacy once you get closer to pushing and or if things start to get intense.

Winnieella · July 2013

FSUNole31:
I love my mom and we are super close, but she has no desire to be in the delivery room and I am more than happy about it. nbsp;Do what you are most comfortable with!nbsp;

This. You need to do what is the most calming and comfy for you.

halfthetree · July 2013

Have her read "The Birth Partner" as a way to prepare her for what you will need if she is in there. For me I am having my sisters and my mother there. I am having a home birth but my DH will still need breaks and to eat etc.
I plan on getting them all to read that book so they aren't scared and annoying. With my first son I didn't prepare any of them and they drove me mad. Counting in my ear while I was pushing, ugh. I almost swatted my sister haha but having them there was very important to me.

litzo27 · July 2013

You can also make an agreement that during labor you can ask her to leave no questions asked. I actually kicked DH and the second nurse out during the pushing of DS2. At that moment I needed to focus one person only and everyone understood.

July1215 · July 2013

I think that if you talk with her about your concerns and what you will need it may be okay for her to be there. I chose to only have DH in the room with me and I had a vey long and difficult labor. It probably would have helped him to have some support, as well as me having someone else to rely on.

mrsjenni · July 2013

I'd let her stay but just talk to her ahead of time.

baby2ra · July 2013

blue_elle:
You've got time to make a final decision on this, but I would try to avoid waiting until last minute to tell her you're rethinking having her in. Once the time gets here, and if you're feeling comfortable and up to it, you can always invite her in while you're laboring, but ask for privacy once you get closer to pushing and or if things start to get intense.

I agree with all of this. We had family members come in and out while I was in labor but once it was time to push, everyone had to leave. Definitely make your decision ahead of time and explain your reasoning to your mom either way.

DaisyKD · July 2013

can you make a deal with her that she can be in there as long as she is quiet? That is one reason I didn't have my mom in the delivery room last time because I knew she would be jabbering too much and it would drive me crazy. I made everyone leave except hubby when it came time to push. But if you told her you would love her to be in there but you need her to stay quiet so you can focus maybe she'll agree to it?