2nd birthday party troubles, families together?

btj357

Hi,

My daughter is turning two in a few months so I am getting a head start on planning I believe I had posted about this a while ago but i'm still having problems.

SO's family is rough, and controlling they don't get along with anyone outside of their family really, and well, my family seems to be the enemy since they keep DD while I finish Nursing school. His family is basically just jealous of the time my family gets with her, when they make no effort to see her. I have to take her everywhere to see everyone. And clearly I don't have the time for that!

So here is my problem... should i have the party with both families or just have it separate? my family is fine being around them but his family will find something to bicker about.

I'm reluctant to have it separate because I  don't want to give them the satisfaction of being in control of their own party for her. They act like they are her mother in that position. And try to make me be in the background. They will flaunt about who they are to her and it's just obnoxious and DD hates it. She doesn't like being around them because of how loud and ignorant they are. She likes to go off into another room and it just be the two of us. 

Has anyone had any experiences like this that can help me out?

karen_loy

Just have one party, if they come and behave great, if they come and start bickering then I would just ignore them and mingle with the other guests and have SO take care of them; if they don't come because they feel offended then it's their loss

I wouldn't bend over backwards for people I don't even like, even if they're family, it's your DD's party, not theirs

belladonna11307

Agreed, it's your daughter's birthday party, not theirs.  And it's your time, not theirs.  It sounds like you're already strapped for time, so throwing two parties sounds like a lot more stress and effort on your part.  Throw one party, know that there will be people there for DD to play with and let SO deal with the ones that are problematic.  Family issues suck, good luck!

melody921

karen_loy:

Just have one party, if they come and behave great, if they come and start bickering then I would just ignore them and mingle with the other guests and have SO take care of them; if they don't come because they feel offended then it's their loss

I wouldn't bend over backwards for people I don't even like, even if they're family, it's your DD's party, not theirs

All of this. If they come and act badly, I'd either ignore them and talk to people who are being pleasant, or tell them nicely to knock it off and focus on DD.

dragon_chica

Ditto the others.  One party and make it very clear to DH that he's in charge of his family.  Guests, regardless of their familial relationships, should never behave badly in someone else's home.  The host has every right to tell them to STFU or get out.

myluckypig

I would definitely not have two birthday parties.  Baby showers, bridal showers, yes I can see separating families, but definitely not a children's birthday party.

Good Luck, hope everyone behaves!

blu-eyedwife

karen_loy:

Just have one party, if they come and behave great, if they come and start bickering then I would just ignore them and mingle with the other guests and have SO take care of them; if they don't come because they feel offended then it's their loss

This