Cousins 2 year old is bored out of his mind!

tesskerr

Mobile cousins 2 year old is bored out of his mind!

My FI second cousin, J, moved in with us. His wife kicked him out, said she didn't love him any more.

He has a 2 year old, who stays every second weekend. He is sooo bored! We have a very small, not kid friendly apartment with a small garden. We are buying our own place soon.

The poor kid has a couple of toys to play with, and that's it. He gets plonked in front of the tv. He has so much energy. But all I hear is no, stop that, no more, just watch tv. I can tell the kid is so frustrated.

We have a park about a 2 min walk from our house. We are in a very quiet neighborhood, there may be other kids there, there may not, but at least it's something!

We have a little garden, with a little watering can that my nephew likes playing with. I am happy to let me nephew play with it while I watch from the steps. He can't get out anywhere, or get into trouble, and he loves it.
But this kid, oh no! J has to be standing with him the whole time, he never relaxes. His kid is allowed to play for maybe 5 mins, then it's all come back inside, lets just watch tv.

I feel sorry for my cats, they are the only stimulation this poor kid gets, but now they are being terrorized.

He also has an 11 year old. He sits on his dads tablet the whole weekend. As a break, he is told to watch tv.

J doesn't drive, but we live in a small city with great buses. We are walking distance to lots of stuff. There is an awesome botanical garden with a huge playground. I just feel so sorry for these kids, but I don't know J or the kids well enough to suggest anything. Any advice?

tesskerr

Haha kill 2 birds with one stone! He has taken the break up hard, and is depressed, so I get that he can't be bothered, and I guess I worry bring up his crap parenting is going to make him feel even worse.
No one knows we are expecting yet, but I might suggest taking them to the park. I just worry again, he is going to get his feelings hurt.
How to I explain him? Martyr x10. Poor me. He held a family meeting to tell everyone he was on anti depressents, it was very weird. He is an insane people pleaser, wounded puppy. He is 32 years old. He also has a low iq, I'm guessing, calling him dumb is just mean, but he is lacking common sense and common knowledge, he manages I get the kids fed and clean etc, but it's almost like he doesn't realize that kids need more that that? I guess his wife did everything.
I kinda want to give him advice, like on stuff to do with them, like bus to the awesome playground in town, or walk, it's only 15 mins away. But I don't want to come across as a know it all, or him to feel like I don't like having them here.
I don't think he even gets a pram brought over when they get dropped off, or a carseat. He basically sits at home with them for over 48 hours.

July1215

Can you lead by example?  Maybe buy some coloring books, play dough and a few inexpensive puzzles for the two year old to play with and then sit down and color/play with him.  

I also agree with PP and take them out but invite him to go too.

If that doesn't work, you may just have to nicely say, " I noticed they seemed bored, I know there isn't much to do here but I think they would enjoy xyz". He may not realize what he should be doing to keep his kids busy.  

tesskerr

I have to buy a couple of baby gifts, so I might pick up a couple of things then.
I guess it's just a good learning experience for me!

Morenajuliet

July1215:

Can you lead by example?  Maybe buy some coloring books, play dough and a few inexpensive puzzles for the two year old to play with and then sit down and color/play with him.  

Great idea 

RunningMom08

I know you may not have a lot of space, but I'll give you ideas with stuff my almost 2yo loves to do!

-water table

-pull a chair up to the sink, and give him some small cups. DS loves to pour them In different sized cups.  

-puzzles

-Endless Alphabet on the iPad or iPhone. (It's free!)

-bouncing a ball around

-cars, cars, cars. Melissa & Doug has a great car carrier with 4 cars that's a huge hit. DS is also a fan of the Little People vehicles

Barnes & Noble has a train set in the kid's section. That's a great activity to get out of the house for a free activity.

-sidewalk chalk

-coloring on paper 

 

i also recommend asking if you can take him for a few hours to play occasionally. Maybe he will see how much fun you guys are having and want to join in? 

Piach

I second all the activities above.  Another great one - bubbles! Hit up the dollar bins at target.  There is fun stuff for cheap there. I got an ice cube tray & puff balls that DD will sort for a good half hour.  If I give her some of her pots & pans, she also "cooks" with them.

stickers are great, any sort of walk, build a fort with blankets & pillows, another sorting game is with different types of noodles, another dollar bin suggestions is card games (old maid, go fish) - he won't actually play, but we play matching games, or just tell me a story about the cards. My dd will jet line them up & organize them.

tesskerr

Lots of great ideas, thanks guys! I guess I have to be brave and just take the reins for a wee bit of the weekend, maybe J will get some inspiration and play with his kid! I think he just has no idea what to do with him at all.

AprlShwrs18

RunningMom08:

I know you may not have a lot of space, but I'll give you ideas with stuff my almost 2yo loves to do!water tablepull a chair up to the sink, and give him some small cups. DS loves to pour them In different sized cups. nbsp;puzzlesEndless Alphabet on the iPad or iPhone. It's free!bouncing a ball aroundcars, cars, cars. Melissa amp; Doug has a great car carrier with 4 cars that's a huge hit. DS is also a fan of the Little People vehiclesBarnes amp; Noble has a train set in the kid's section. That's a great activity to get out of the house for a free activity. sidewalk chalkcoloring on papernbsp;nbsp;i also recommend asking if you can take him for a few hours to play occasionally. Maybe he will see how much fun you guys are having and want to join in?nbsp;

Awesome ideas. Is there a consignment store near by? Also grab some books. Reading to him is incredibly important for success later on!

July1215

AprlShwrs18:

Awesome ideas. Is there a consignment store near by? Also grab some books. Reading to him is incredibly important for success later on!

A consignment store is a great idea! Also, I find that short walks where you allow the child to lead and explore are great entertainment. I also allow my daughter to help me "cook" simple things. For example, we made pancakes this morning and she helped dump the flour and other items into a big bowl and stir. It helps keep her busy and I am able to get breakfast cooked. This would be something the 11 year old could participate in as well.

WinsyWade

tesskerr:

I have to buy a couple of baby gifts, so I might pick up a couple of things then. I guess it's just a good learning experience for me!

If you have these things at your home for the 2 year old, you can keep them for your baby too.  Books, puzzles, playdough, maybe construction paper and crayons?  Whatever they don't use, you can keep.  

Does J not know the area well?  Maybe he doesn't realize there's so many parks nearby?  Is there a Farmer's market you could visit?  What about a library?  The 11 yr old could check out some books.  Or if the library has a children's area, the little one could play for a bit.  Maybe you could offer to show J around the area.  That would at least get you all out of the house.

Also, your poor cats!  I feel bad for them, but at least it won't be a shock when your baby comes along