Any career women out there TTC?

jmknox

Hello everyone... I was on the bump quite a bit last year but I guess I was gone so long they reset my stats.  

Sooo DH and I have decided to start trying again.. Which I am super excited about, 2012 was a challenging year.  We've had to think it out long and hard since I am the primary income source and want to make sure that during maternity leave and pending any complications that we would still be able to pay all the bills during that time.  

 It took my Hubby a while to come to terms with issues he has, like if something would happen, if I couldn't work for a portion of time during the pregnancy, morning sickness etc....  Heck, HE can take more maternity leave than me.  

 And I admit as a professional I am excited and scared at the same time for such a life changing event, I know it will be challenging for sure but as women I feel we were built for this, that this is what we do.  

 Any other ladies out there in the same boat?  I would love to hear your thoughts 

dragonfly711

You are not alone.  I am a career changer. Was a Veterinary technician, now an elementary teacher but working as at assistant teacher getting experience so I do not have the teaching salary.  

Hubby has a good job and he has the benefits which are awesome.  Hubby is a planner. So hard, we worry about affording childcare after the baby is born.  Since I went back to school I have so much student loan debt that I had to defer most of it.  I have to work and can't be a stay at home mom but with us both working and if we have to have child care my salary will go for that and not much else.  

My mom just moved back to NY from VA.  I am hoping that maybe she will help out a little but she already said she did not want to baby sit all the time. So we will see.  My niece said she would at a discount but still a lot of $$ a month.  

Finally hubby  said ok the end of last year and what happens will happen and we will figure it out as we go.  Hubby is also trying to get a better job where he works or he might see if he can work nights and I would work days so that way we would not have to have any child care or maybe just a few hours.

It is so hard and it will be very tight but it will be worth it in the end!!! 

jmknox

Thanks for your input! Thankfully in my case our benefits are through my hubby too and it does not cost us extra to add dependents.   We cannot count on my mom either as she has gone AWOL with a new boyfriend after my dads recent death and the MIL has her hands full watching grandchild #1 and DH and I don't feel right adding another on her plate.

We have in the last 6 months gone on a restrictive budget to pay off debts so that way we would have free monies to start saving up for my maternity leave...   It's hard for me bc if I don't see pts I don't get paid and I'm wondering how much time I will really be able to take off.  It seems like most feel there is never enough time off.

And then I think about breast feeding and how to manage that --pumping at work!  I know ladies do it all the time but obviously uncharted territory for me

CHD84

A very timely post for me! This week I just talked to my boss about a promotion of sorts. I am going to start taking on a lot more responsibility and I'm very excited. BUT it makes me nervous for when I do get pregnant... There are only 3 employees at my work so we don't have maternity leave. I know my boss will be flexible, but it still makes me so nervous! But I can't put my life on hold while TTC (especially since it looks like it will take longer than expected since I'm not currently ovulating) so we will see!  

dragonfly711

jmknox:

Thanks for your input! Thankfully in my case our benefits are through my hubby too and it does not cost us extra to add dependents.   We cannot count on my mom either as she has gone AWOL with a new boyfriend after my dads recent death and the MIL has her hands full watching grandchild #1 and DH and I don't feel right adding another on her plate.

We have in the last 6 months gone on a restrictive budget to pay off debts so that way we would have free monies to start saving up for my maternity leave...   It's hard for me bc if I don't see pts I don't get paid and I'm wondering how much time I will really be able to take off.  It seems like most feel there is never enough time off.

And then I think about breast feeding and how to manage that --pumping at work!  I know ladies do it all the time but obviously uncharted territory for me

oh wow, we are almost in the same boat.  

My mom I think might have a change of heart, I know before I MC in Feb she was super excited and now that she is actually living 15 mins from me it might be different.  

My MIL actually said to hubby if she could she would help us with babysitting BUT she is 80!!! LOL and has so many health issues and she cant even walk well herself that no way could she watch a baby, but it was nice that she said that if she was healthier she would.  I would be able to have 6 weeks maternity leave.  Pumping would not be an issue for me since we have 2 teachers in the classroom I would be able to leave on a prep period or even during a class period if I had too, the lead teacher I am with is so excited for me to become pregnant so she will help me out with anything I need which is awesome!!  It will be a long day for me though, I leave the house at 6 and I do not get home til 5 or 6. That will be tough, will hate to be away that long. I hope it will only be next year and then the year after I hope to get a job closer to home now that I will have almost 2 yrs experience. 

What do you do?  That stinks you do not get maternity leave, I did not know that places did not have to offer it.   

dragonfly711

Love your profile picture by the way!!!

jmknox

That's awesome.  We are all strong women and we can handle it, but I always worry about the stress levels.   When I take maternity leave (I mean "if", God willing), it would leave just one doc at the office handling all our pts...  They have even said Oh, it would be perfect for you to have kids... But not for a couple of years.  Years!  

I feel you with the nervousness...  However they were pretty cool with it last year before we MC.  

 

jmknox

hlmlvt:

jmknox:

Thanks for your input! Thankfully in my case our benefits are through my hubby too and it does not cost us extra to add dependents.   We cannot count on my mom either as she has gone AWOL with a new boyfriend after my dads recent death and the MIL has her hands full watching grandchild #1 and DH and I don't feel right adding another on her plate.

We have in the last 6 months gone on a restrictive budget to pay off debts so that way we would have free monies to start saving up for my maternity leave...   It's hard for me bc if I don't see pts I don't get paid and I'm wondering how much time I will really be able to take off.  It seems like most feel there is never enough time off.

And then I think about breast feeding and how to manage that --pumping at work!  I know ladies do it all the time but obviously uncharted territory for me

oh wow, we are almost in the same boat.  

My mom I think might have a change of heart, I know before I MC in Feb she was super excited and now that she is actually living 15 mins from me it might be different.  

My MIL actually said to hubby if she could she would help us with babysitting BUT she is 80!!! LOL and has so many health issues and she cant even walk well herself that no way could she watch a baby, but it was nice that she said that if she was healthier she would.  I would be able to have 6 weeks maternity leave.  Pumping would not be an issue for me since we have 2 teachers in the classroom I would be able to leave on a prep period or even during a class period if I had too, the lead teacher I am with is so excited for me to become pregnant so she will help me out with anything I need which is awesome!!  It will be a long day for me though, I leave the house at 6 and I do not get home til 5 or 6. That will be tough, will hate to be away that long. I hope it will only be next year and then the year after I hope to get a job closer to home now that I will have almost 2 yrs experience. 

What do you do?  That stinks you do not get maternity leave, I did not know that places did not have to offer it.   

 

thanks for the pic props

 i never told my mom we had a MC.  I'm just not that close,  but MIL has been super supportive. 

 I'm a dentist, and by law I'm allowed leave but the longer I'm gone the more my pt base could dwindle (source of income). I even thought about working part time for a bit instead of a full maternity leave.   Probably wouldn't work out that well in reality.  

It's so nice you have that support at work...  I feel you with the long hours, I leave at 7 am and get home usually 6pm.  Thankfully DH is a police officer and he has more flexibility, like if baby is sick he could go get them, etc.    

macj123

I'm in a very similar position.  When reading your post, I wondered to myself if you were a dentist...something about it made me think that.  I'm also a dentist (specialist) and work as an independent contractor.  I also had the same concerns as you whereas if I don't see patients, I don't get paid.  I honestly don't even know how long I'd be able to be on maternity leave but I'm definitely not planning to be gone for long.  Thankfully my mom is retired would likely come to help us.  MY FIL and stepMIL also live about 10 minutes away and would likely help too.  DH works with his father's company and is a full time master's student so I am the breadwinner for now.  The biggest thing that's calmed my anxiety about TTC was just saving as much as now and paying off as much debt as possible before a LO arrives.  Everything will work out.  Good luck!

KatD2011

i'm the primary income earner too. DH  worries a lot about 'what ifs...' what if one of us loses our job, or what if the baby gets sick, who will stay home etc. He also worries that I may be excluded from career growth opportunities if I go on Mat leave. 

 I'm lucky enough to have flexibility with my job, full benefits, and a paid maternity leave of 1 yr. The rest, we will just have to cross each bridge as we get to it!!

 I believe everything will work out. While my career is important to me, my future family will be #1

DrAshleyRx

I am in a similar situation.  DH and I are both pharmacists and right now we work for the same company and work the exact same schedule.  This means 13 hours a day through the week (M,T,F or W,Th) and every other weekend.  We have to worry not so much about missing pay or anything like that but child care.  We wouldn't put our child in daycare for 13 hours a day even if it was available so this means we have to rely solely on family.  Our mothers have both agreed to come help on the days we work, but MIL is highly unreliable.  I am terrified that once the baby is here (TTC #1) she'll have some stupid excuse that she can't help even though we discussed this with the entire family before TTC.

Wow, felt good to get that off my chest!  Good luck to you ladies!

DemoDoll

I Have a career and everything is going just fine with working and having DD. my pregnancy wasn't horribly difficult either. I work 50, sometimes 60 hours a week. I'm in the construction industry so I go out to job sites and work in the office. I had horrible morning sickness and I never missed a day of work, you just learn to deal with it. I wouldn't worry much about it, tons of women do it every day. Don't get me wrong, it has it's challenges, but it's worth it!

Twinkie0612

I am the breadwinner in our family and carry our insurance.  I am lucky that I have a great ML policy (12 weeks at 1/2 pay and the ability to supplement with PTO, I have been stockpiling PTO and have more than enough to cover the 12 weeks).  It's a good thing that I have paid ML, because we would have a hard time covering unpaid leave since we are starting IVF and are completely OOP.

rlyttle

Both my DH and I have full time careers. Money isnt a problem, but time is our issue. It sucks that we both work a lot and it leaves very little time for kids. We make it work, and its just the way of life for us. I did take 4 months off when DS was born. That was nice. I didnt have to rake any time off being pregnant, besides maybe for an appointment or two. DH took a week off when DS was born. It all works out somehow, dont stress over it too much. 

jmknox

macj123:

I'm in a very similar position.  When reading your post, I wondered to myself if you were a dentist...something about it made me think that.  I'm also a dentist (specialist) and work as an independent contractor.  I also had the same concerns as you whereas if I don't see patients, I don't get paid.  I honestly don't even know how long I'd be able to be on maternity leave but I'm definitely not planning to be gone for long.  Thankfully my mom is retired would likely come to help us.  MY FIL and stepMIL also live about 10 minutes away and would likely help too.  DH works with his father's company and is a full time master's student so I am the breadwinner for now.  The biggest thing that's calmed my anxiety about TTC was just saving as much as now and paying off as much debt as possible before a LO arrives.  Everything will work out.  Good luck!

Hello there fellow dental peep! I hear you about paying stuff off. We are doing the Dave Ramsey method and have paid off quite a bit this last year and that's what's definitely help Us say YES we can start doing this now

jmknox

DrAshleyRx:

I am in a similar situation.  DH and I are both pharmacists and right now we work for the same company and work the exact same schedule.  This means 13 hours a day through the week (M,T,F or W,Th) and every other weekend.  We have to worry not so much about missing pay or anything like that but child care.  We wouldn't put our child in daycare for 13 hours a day even if it was available so this means we have to rely solely on family.  Our mothers have both agreed to come help on the days we work, but MIL is highly unreliable.  I am terrified that once the baby is here (TTC #1) she'll have some stupid excuse that she can't help even though we discussed this with the entire family before TTC.

Wow, felt good to get that off my chest!  Good luck to you ladies!

 Thanks for your input! 

 What about hiring a Nanny?   

My mom is unreliable too, she will say she is excited about it and want to come be there while I am on ML butfortunately for us I have seen how she acts with my Nephew.... She will buy him lots of toys but wants mostly nothing to do with him

jsaffer01

I am in a very similar boat. I am a behavioral therapist and I go into people's home and work with their children. However if I go work I don't get paid. I am allowed 3months if maternity leave, but again that will be unpaid. I'm not so much as the breadwinner, but I have a higher hourly rate than my husband, so we will be screwed if I take 3months off. I could probably only afford like 34weeks off because we rely on both of our incomes to pay the bills. I am also going back to school in the fall so that will add some more debt to us. But I am thankful my company pays 50 of tuition on that. My mother in law will be very excited to help us out in anyway possible so we don't have to pay for child care. And my husband works overnights while I work during the day so that helps out as well. As for breastfeeding as much I know the perks about doing it, I can't. Because I am in people's homes I can't just excuse myself to pump, nor is there a place for me to store it, because I am in my car driving from client to client.

So just remember that there are many women out there in your shoes and everything has a way of working out.

jmknox

Let me just say wow and thank you ladies!!!    I think it really helps to know that there are others out there in our same situations, so ridiculously busy working but yet knowing that having a little one of our own would help complete the puzzle- make the rat race all worth it.  

Nothing is impossible. 

 Hah, think this topic needs its own forum lol 

jsaffer01

jsaffer01:

I am in a very similar boat. I am a behavioral therapist and I go into people's home and work with their children. However if I go work I don't get paid. I am allowed 3months if maternity leave, but again that will be unpaid. I'm not so much as the breadwinner, but I have a higher hourly rate than my husband, so we will be screwed if I take 3months off. I could probably only afford like 34weeks off because we rely on both of our incomes to pay the bills. I am also going back to school in the fall so that will add some more debt to us. But I am thankful my company pays 50 of tuition on that. My mother in law will be very excited to help us out in anyway possible so we don't have to pay for child care. And my husband works overnights while I work during the day so that helps out as well. As for breastfeeding as much I know the perks about doing it, I can't. Because I am in people's homes I can't just excuse myself to pump, nor is there a place for me to store it, because I am in my car driving from client to client.

So just remember that there are many women out there in your shoes and everything has a way of working out.

I meant to say if I don't work I don't get paid.

jmknox

jsaffer01:

jsaffer01:

I am in a very similar boat. I am a behavioral therapist and I go into people's home and work with their children. However if I go work I don't get paid. I am allowed 3months if maternity leave, but again that will be unpaid. I'm not so much as the breadwinner, but I have a higher hourly rate than my husband, so we will be screwed if I take 3months off. I could probably only afford like 34weeks off because we rely on both of our incomes to pay the bills. I am also going back to school in the fall so that will add some more debt to us. But I am thankful my company pays 50 of tuition on that. My mother in law will be very excited to help us out in anyway possible so we don't have to pay for child care. And my husband works overnights while I work during the day so that helps out as well. As for breastfeeding as much I know the perks about doing it, I can't. Because I am in people's homes I can't just excuse myself to pump, nor is there a place for me to store it, because I am in my car driving from client to client. So just remember that there are many women out there in your shoes and everything has a way of working out.

I meant to say if I don't work I don't get paid.

 

i think 4 weeks will be the max...   I feel you.  We have this responsibility to be there for our patients and pay the bills.   Maybe during your short time off your milk will really come in and you will be able to store away some extra to last a little while, at least that's what I'm hoping