It's been one whole month since I lost my sweet Angel at 6w5d. It's a little easier to talk about it, and I'm just a bit more tolerant of pregnant women. It doesn't help that my best friend (who is also my brother in law's gf) is pregnant and her due date is 3 weeks before what would have been mine. I love her to death and am still happy for them but can't help myself from being jealous. I do not want to feel that way, she is carrying my niece/nephew. Why is it so easy for some to get pregnant and have healthy pregnancies? I thought it was all making sense when after 6 years of ttc, DH and I finally got a BFP. I thought, well God did have a plan, he wanted these cousins to be close, close in age for some reason. We were so overjoyed. We were finally having the family we'd always dreamed of... Then that dream came crashing down. It's just not fair. I hate feeling this way, like why do these people, these alcoholics and drug addicts and the like get to have babies and some who are in steady long-term relationships with no addictions, who are healthy and have careers cannot??
I'm soo angry. I'm angry at the world and everyone and no one.
I'm still going to counseling weekly.
I still find myself avoiding many friends and family. I'm still breaking down in tears at random.
I know time is the only thing that can heal a broken heart.
Is anyone else continuing with this struggle to act "normal" and talk and hang out with your family and friends?
I'm so sorry for us all, I do NOT wish a MC on my worst enemy.