Feeling sorry for myself — The Bump
Multiples

Feeling sorry for myself

Hi ladies, I'm feeling sorry for myself tonight and maybe you could slap me back to reality. I have all these facebook mom friends who are taking their LOs to mommy and me classes, swimming, and various other fun activies. I want so badly to do some of those things with the girls, but I feel it's not an option for MoMs, or more headache than I want to deal with. My man is working late these days so he wouldn't be able to go with us.

I have done the kiddie pool in the yard, but that's more work than fun, and I'm constanty trying to make sure they're not slipping/trying to stand/drowning and it's not fun.

What summer activities do you do with the multiples? Sorry to sound like a total cry baby. I have the summer time blues and finding myself jealous of the singleton moms!  

 

Re: Feeling sorry for myself

  • I know exactly how you feel.  Since my boys are older I am enjoying this summer more- they can play in the kiddie pool- but what I have done is get a babysitter and take one to a class- and I am lucky that where I live the same class is offered multiple times- so I am able to take both to the same level class but at different times.  My sitter says she would be happy to go with so they can be in the same exact class- but I like to do things one on one with them.

    Last summer I spent A LOT of time at the zoo, parks and mall.


  • Oh goodness, I am feeling the EXACT same way. I try so hard to everyday do something with them, even if its just the park or the stores (the past few days have been so hot anyway its almost impossible to do anything else). I think the hardest part for me are all the "suggestions" my mil gives me about things to do with them. No one really gets just how hard it is-especially with balancing naps etc. But to answer your question, we do the pool once in a while (despite all the heartache you mentioned), the park, the swings in our yard or the stores. I also do any classes offered at our library but they are extremely scarce. Some days I feel like the worst, laziest mom on the planet. Others i feel like im doing my best, but I struggle with this too. Hugs! 
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  • We will play in the back yard with their water table & a water hose connected splash pool if it's my day off during the week and DH isn't around to help. On the weekends we go to the neighborhood pool & splash pad or we will go to Six Flags since we have season passes. If it's not too hot we will go to the park, but since it's Texas that's usually in the evening.
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  • I so feel you on this one! I just found a Mommy and Me class with a Saturday session, so we will start that once they reach 10 mos. DH will come with us. Our county's library system doesn't have baby classes, so that's out and I'm pretty sad about it. We don't have any child care or family in the area, so we are also super limited with what we can do. Honestly, we do a lot of errands and walks during the day. It stinks, but the boys love being out of the house and I figure that's something, right?
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  • mirnbmirnb
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    Sorry this has got you down :( I totally know where you are coming from! I've had a few disastrous backyard pool episodes myself but I keep trying! We do walks or go to the grocery store but its hard feeling like you always have to keep them contained! When I start to feel down though looking at my friends with one baby.....I think about all the awesome things I get to experience being a MOM like double the kisses and the amazingly cute moments they have together.....I think in the end having a sibling the same age to grow up with can make up for a lot of things they may "miss out on" :) keep doing a great job mama! We'll be laughing at ourselves or maybe at the moms of singletons when our kids are older and have a built in playmate !
  • I hear ya. The mom's in my playgroup keep asking if i'm getting a pool pass. Then I explain the logistics of watching two babies who can't swim and they apologize. I have a water table, a hose connected splash pool, but unless it's really hot out they don't like it since the hose water is cold.. I also have a pool that I can inflate but I haven't tried that out yet.

    I'm also covered in poison ivy right now, so I don't want to go out and explain the horrific looking disease on my arms LOL. 

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  • Right there with ya mama!  We have a baby pool i only fill about two inches high but yes, still have to watch em like a hawk! :/  are there any MoM's groups or mom's groups in your area?  Some of the ones around here do play dates and especially the other MoMs will do a lot to help each other when we all get together.  I was talking to one about being bummed not being able to do swim lessons with the boys and she even offered to meet me at the pool with her husband who is a teacher off for the summer so the three of us could team up with our sets of twins.  A support system and friends can really help! Or if you get really bored there's always cruising Target with a nice frappuccino...ahhhh summer refreshment :)
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  • You have summed up one of my main worries being alone with them everyday, especially with our pool
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  • image mirnb:
    Sorry this has got you down :( I totally know where you are coming from! I've had a few disastrous backyard pool episodes myself but I keep trying! We do walks or go to the grocery store but its hard feeling like you always have to keep them contained! When I start to feel down though looking at my friends with one baby.....I think about all the awesome things I get to experience being a MOM like double the kisses and the amazingly cute moments they have together.....I think in the end having a sibling the same age to grow up with can make up for a lot of things they may "miss out on" :) keep doing a great job mama! We'll be laughing at ourselves or maybe at the moms of singletons when our kids are older and have a built in playmate !

    This.  Yes it sucks not being able to do all of the things singleton moms can do with their LOs, but twins have each other which is so awesome.  

    If you have family, friends with older(school aged) kids or no kids, or a trusted sitter, see if they're able to help with activities. I am fortunate that we have family close and a few friends that have flexible work schedules, so I can often find someone to join me for the pool. When I don't have someone available to help we will go to the mall, target, the zoo, or park.  We also have a water table and a sprinkler for days when it's hot and we can't get to the pool.


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  • cadencaden
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    You described me last year. I didn't enjoy taking my kids out anywhere they could roam free so playgrounds were out, pools obviously were out, etc. My friends with singletons seemed to be having so much fun and I kept to myself most days. I would do some things where they could stay in a stroller, but that's not many places, and there was no way I was screwing with our nap schedule. That time was and is sacred to me. So last summer, I frankly just didn't get out much. We fenced in our backyard and did the water table thing and a few other random outdoor toys, went on a lot of wagon rides, did a few playdates at other people's houses. Now my kids are a bit older - they'll be 3 in the fall - and it is MUCH easier. I can push back their naps a bit and it generally isn't a disaster. They're finally listening (for the most part) and not running away (mostly) if I let them out of the stroller, so parks/playgrounds, walking at the zoo or the mall play structure, kiddie museums, etc are finally doable. I've only done library classes, not any mommy and me classes, b/c those are free and very relaxed. Kiddie pools also get way easier when they get older. I still don't put ours out much b/c I think it's a PITA to fill, but safety wise it's much easier. DH & I are taking the kids to a swim class on saturdays and they love it. They are doing so much better than when I took them at 6m with a friend (and had to quit half way through). And that's another thing, I think my kids actually enjoy going places now that they're a bit older and get what's going on. Before it was mostly just for me that we got out of the house. And I'm finally starting to see real benefits to my kids having each other. Yesterday I took them to a carnival that had kiddie rides and they went on the kiddie rides sitting next to each other. It was the cutest thing ever watching them get scared of the rides, but laugh with each other once they realized it was fun. I think they would have each freaked out if they had been totally alone. So yeah I just wanted to encourage you. It definitely gets better and easier. :)

  • image ShopperKristi:
    Right there with ya mama!  We have a baby pool i only fill about two inches high but yes, still have to watch em like a hawk! :/  are there any MoM's groups or mom's groups in your area?  Some of the ones around here do play dates and especially the other MoMs will do a lot to help each other when we all get together.  I was talking to one about being bummed not being able to do swim lessons with the boys and she even offered to meet me at the pool with her husband who is a teacher off for the summer so the three of us could team up with our sets of twins.  A support system and friends can really help! Or if you get really bored there's always cruising Target with a nice frappuccino...ahhhh summer refreshment :)

    yep last summer we did most of our outings with other MoMs :) at their homes, or they came to ours. Also, there is an enclosed splashpark near my house. I.love.it. We open the door, go in and I can see them from any angle, walking/running through the spray/waterfountain.  This summer, I'm pregnant so I was hoping to do the swimming pool by myself, but that is out bc I can't lift both of them at the same time anymore :/  I have decided when it comes to water that is not a small pool at home, that I need a 1:1 ratio at.all.times.

    God gave me a double portion for my inheritance with my little Mighty men :) 9/19/10 Baby A born at 1:47 am 6lbs 14oz, 20.5inches long. Baby B born at 3:20 am 6lbs 6oz, 19.5inches long. My double blessing!:)
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