November 2012 Moms

I'm struggling

This is going to be more of a ramble/whine post but I need direction or advice or someone to share this with.

Dd won't nap more than 30min and usually that 30min is in my arms. We've tried Ferber but she lost her voice and then got a huge blister one night from her snuza rubbing on her when rolling around on it. So I feel like a shitty mom and went back to holding her for naps/bedtime. However I don't feel like this is fair to my older daughter, who's 3. She's been so great and loves her sister but its not far to her that mommy has to rock her sister to sleep a ton of times thru the day. Or that bw 78 when it should be mommy g time that I usually spend it sitting on the couch watching tv with her while I hold Cora because she won't sleep anywhere but my arms.

But I always held G for bedtime and naps when she was a baby so then I feel bad for Cora. I LOVE snuggling her and I'm not ready to give that up either. Plus I keep reminding myself in 6 months she should be sleeping better and ill miss the snuggles.

Sigh...it's just been a long day. My husband works 110pm for the next 6months and I have no one near us to help out. I just feel pulled in a bunch of directions and that I'm not doing what's best for either of them.

Anyone else?!

Sorry G is my 3yr old. C/Cora is my 7 month old
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Re: I'm struggling

  • Give Ferber another chance. I know it's hard . DH loved sleeping with M but I explained to him that the best thing for her was to be able to fall asleep in her own. This is just the first in a long line of times we will have to be "tough". The breaking point for me was when at five months I had to rock her three times to go to sleep. I said enough! And I only have one. If anything talk to your pedi. GL
  • You are doing great, mom. Your LO's are getting all the love and attention a child could ask for, and then some. I know you want to snuggle and rock to sleep, but don't feel guilty about doing for one b/c you did for the other. You do it b/c you want to so take that guilt away. Do more research on sleep training methods. I haven't researched but I'm pretty sure Ferber isn't the only one. I agree that some times call for being tough. Gather your support system and hatch a plan.



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  • jg1011jg1011 member

    Wish I had some advice, but I don't have any experience with two. I just wanted to send you some support and hugs. 

    Im sure toy are doing a great job with both your girls! 

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  • Are you nursing? I tried for the longest time having my LO go to sleep on his own for his naps and only got 30 minute naps out of him. Within the past month I started nursing him to sleep before his naps and he's napping so much better. I think it relaxes him and helps him sleep much better. I always try to slightly wake him up when I put him in his crib so he doesn't wake up wondering how he got there. If he cries at all I rub his back for a couple seconds and then he goes right back to sleep. I also have a 3 year old so fortunately the nursing session only lasts about 5 minutes. I do it in his darkened room with his sound machine on.
    Also even if you're not nursing this might help you. I only let my LO have 2 naps a day. I think this also greatly helped him break his 30 minute nap habit. On a good day he wakes at 7 naps 930 until 1030 naps 2 until 330 bed at 730. Sometimes he still only takes a 30 minute first nap and on those days I'll make his second nap 15 or 30 minutes earlier. If he tries to take another short 30 minute nap probably from being a bit overtired I will let him cry to go back to sleep for that one because I know he needs it and is generally so tired that he will fall back asleep within 520 minutes. I don't go in his room at all though when he's crying otherwise he just thinks its time to get up. I've had to be consistent with this schedule for a couple weeks and now he's doing great with it and knows what to expect.
    Good luck! I know how tough it is with the 2 of them and having one that doesn't want to nap.
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  • I am sorry you are struggling. I can sympathize and empathize with you. I don't have any advise because I just gave in and started cosleeping. Now everyone sleeps better. But I know this does not work for everyone.

    I agree with the nursing right before naps. I generally lay in bed and nurse D then ease out of the bed once he has passed out for naps. 

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  • Have you tried rice socks or sleeping with her blanket/sheets or any other tricks to make her think you're still holding her after you lay her down?

    Sorry girl. I know it's hard to balance two. 



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  • There are a few more methods to sleep training.  Try the Pick up/ Put down method.  It takes time, and it works for some. 

     I was having the same issue with my LO, the PU/PD worked for us.  I couldn't do the CIO, it hurt me more that DS. 

     Good luck

  • Baby wearing.
    Find a group near you if you need help. There may be a FB group of moms near you.
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