LGBT Parenting
mollykelley
member
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NBR: DOMA: get the facts
mollykelley
member
Just passing on some resources. If you are a member of HRC, there will be a town hall meeting tonight at 8pm Eastern time to address questions about what DOMA means for same sex marriage in different states. I will be on the call to find out what I can.
Here is a list of resources that may be helpful:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/doma-get-the-facts
M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
TTC with RE since March 2012
3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
(2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
EDD 11/28/13
TTC with RE since March 2012
3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
(2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
EDD 11/28/13
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR: DOMA: get the facts
Sorry, not clicky :-( cut and paste.
https://www.hrc.org/resources/entry/doma-get-the-facts
TTC with RE since March 2012
3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
(2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
EDD 11/28/13
TTC with RE since March 2012
3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
(2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
EDD 11/28/13
We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.
Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.
Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response
IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6 6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm.
***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***
FET #1 December 2014
So... what's the good word? Any updates about how couples living in states without marriage equality will be treated?
Just read that our governor is trying to push for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage in Indiana. I'm going to write him a scathing e-mail.
Hi lbugher, I was on the call and listening in to people's specific questions. There were lots of questions about couples who live in states without marriage equality.
What I got was basically that DOMA was not fully repealed though there is no longer a federal ban on same sex marriage. Section 2 of DOMA still stands, which means that states do not have to recognize marriages of other states.
So, if a couple lives in a state where there is no marriage equality, but gets married in another state (one of the current 12 or soon 13) where same sex marriage is allowed, they may not be recognized by their home state. However, the federal government will recognize the marriage if they were married in a state where it is legal, even if they do not live in that state.
And it seems to me that all the implications of what federal benefits entail still needs to be worked out. But a couple married in Mass who then moves to Texas for a federal job would be entitled to federal spouse benefits, etc.
This will definitely be an iterative process of finding out what this all means. I hope you don't get a ban in Indiana. I'm sure that would be a big disappointment after going through this excitement. And I remember how heartbreaking it felt when the state of California voted 52% in favor of Prop 8. My wife is from Indy and we would consider moving there someday. I hope your governor doesn't go through with it.
ETA: spelling errors.
TTC with RE since March 2012
3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
(2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
EDD 11/28/13
Thank you, mollykelley! This all makes sense and was what I thought would happen. I asked HR about it at work and they said they'd send a statement to all of us once they figured out how it would impact our benefits. Really, that's what I'm most concerned with at this point.
And I am fuming mad at Governor Pence right now. There are literally no secular reasons why a gay couple shouldn't be allowed to get married. If the ban passes, I'm probably going to consider moving somewhere else. I don't want to, though. I want to be near my family and friends, I love my job, I love my town, I love my house... But if discrimination is enshrined in our constitution for years to come and I'll literally be blocked from being with my partner at the hospital all because a vocal minority of hateful bigots put this on our books... I'm outta here.