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Manager complaining about my absences

AJC&MaggieAJC&Maggie member
in Infertility
First off. I totally hate my department manager. She is a complete witch. Well this morning I over hear her complaining to another coworker that I have once AGAIN requested to leave work early for another doctors appointment!! I am going to lose my job with all if these work absences!
She is my direct boss! As if I don't have enough on my plate, now I am worried about being fired!
Me:35,  DH: 39   
TTC since March 2011. All bloodword, SA & HSG are normal.  
8/12: Clomid & TI - BFN 
10/12: Colmid & TI - BFN 
3/13:  Clomid, Trigger & IUI - BFN 
4/13: Gonal F, Trigger & IUI: BFN  
6/13: IVF #1 (1AA blast & 1BB blast) = BFN 
8/13: FET #1= BFN
10/13: FET #2= BFP!!!

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Re: Manager complaining about my absences

  • DoublePortionDoublePortion member
    I would march down to HR and tell them that I think it's out of line for my manager to be discussing my absences with another coworker (especially since she told the other person it was for a doctors appt)! You are taking off work for medical care, not just to hang out at the mall!!

    ***signature & ticker warning***

    Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
    AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
    Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
    Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
    Stopped BCP 4/2010.
    Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
    IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
    IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
    BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
    FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
    FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013     ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
    Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt)     Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
    Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
    G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.

    If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!

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  • kjf114kjf114 member
    go to HR to protect yourself. In IL infertitly I believe is covered with short term disability for absences.

      us      dogs

    Me: 28, DH: 30 TTC since March 2012
    PCO & MTHFR Homozygous/Severe MFI (undescended teste & double hernia as baby)

    12/12: 50mg clomid= bfn
    1/13: 100mg clomid= bfn
    2/13: 100mg clomid= bfn 
    6/13: IVF/ICSI (x1 4AA)=BFFN ~49R, 44M, 33F, 14 frosties  OHSS
    8/13: FET #1 (x1 4AA)=First EVER BFP 4dp5dt!! d&c @ 6.5 wks, blighted ovum
    10/13: FET #2 (x2 4AA)= BFP 4dp5dt! Twins!!, perfect u/s then spontaneous m/c @ 5 wks
    11/13= RPL/Karotyping= MTHFR Homozygous c667t
    1/14= FET #3 our 2 year anniversary & hopefully our miracle

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  • JennySC34JennySC34 member
    I agree! And if you live in the states you should be protected! You have a right to privacy because you are not a public figure not to mention your boss is being very unprofessional! 
    Five IUI 's and two 3 day IVF transfers and two chemical pregnancies. Unknown to me at the time was that I was hypothyroid and had endometriosis. All that heartache and money and I would have never gotten pregnant. Time for new RE. New RE found the thyroid and endo. I had another 5 day transfer in April when all 7 embryos arrested on day four. Transferred three morali and didn't conceive. Thyroid function is excellent now. DH SCSA came back perfect. Now for IVF number four in June 2013. I had two perfectly expanded blasts put back and five frosties! I have never gotten this far! Now to wait for blood test on 6/26. My heart is In my throat! Please let this work, BFP with HPT 7 days and 8 days after transfer.
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  • mfarmer0811mfarmer0811 member
    I'm so sorry!! People are so insensitive!!! 
    What if you had cancer, or some other disease? This is all the reason I so wish our nation would recognize IF as a disease!! 
    I agree with other posters; go now to your HR!!
    Me 28 DH 30 Married 08-11-07 TTC since 07/11 HSG 01-21-13 Left FTB Seeing RE 1-28-13 RE 1-28-13 Both tubes blocked LAP surgery 2-15-13 Both tubes removed Started IVF #1 June 2013 Meds: BCP, Lupron, Gonal-F, Ovidrel, Medrol, Doxycycline
    Beta #1-BFP!!! HCG-55 Beta #2--111 Beta #3--2,825 Beta #4 22,031 1st U/S 7-29-13 Saw and heard our little sweet pea's heartbeat!! 109 bpm 


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  • diamante1181diamante1181 member
    FMLA is the magic word. Request paperwork from your HR dept, have your doc's office fill it out. That's what I did, and that was the end of it. Legally.
    On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Phoebe Jaslene born at 19w3d. We love you beba! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers



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  • krdesikrdesi member
    I agree with what the other ladies said. Sorry you have to deal with this!

    **Siggy/Ticker Warning**   

             image
                  TTC #1 since May 2012

                  May 2013: First R.E. appointment

                  DH: SA is good

                   May 2013: CD3 Blood work-normal
               June 2013: Hsg-Right tube blocked

                   July 26, 2013: Starting Follistim for IVF #1

                  August 2013: IVF #1 Cancelled- Abnormal embryos

             October/November 2013: IVF #2 w/ICSI

                        November 8, 2013: Transferred two early blasts (no frosties) 

    November 18, 2013: First EVER BFP! 

    Beta#1: 91  Beta#2: 288

    1st U/S- 5w2d Saw yolk sac!

    3rd U/S- 7w4d HB of 157bpm!

    TEAM BLUE!

           http://movingtolight.blogspot.com/

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  • RosyGlowRosyGlow member

    Whatever you do, you do NOT need to feel obligated to tell her what the appointments are for. Does she already know? Either way, she should NEVER be discussing the appointments with other coworkers. That is completely unprofessional. Do you have an HR department? I ask because I do not have one at my workplace. If you don't, you should tell your direct boss that you are sensitive about this information being shared, and that you want to do everything you can to maintain your position while also keeping up with your medical treatments. Since she isn't someone it sounds like you trust, feel free to just explain that you are undergoing medical treatments that you do not want to discuss due to confidentiality. 

    Then, in your mind (but not out loud) you can tell her to go screw off. What a witch.  

    | Married since 2008 | DH and I: Both 30 | Me: Endometriosis and Carrier of an X-Linked Dominant Genetic Disorder | DH: Low Morph | Planning IVF with PGD and PGS in 2013 | Freeze-All IVF #1: March 2013 ER 3/26. 29R, 12M, 11F. 4 5AA frozen blasts. Freeze-All IVF#2: May 2013 ER 5/15. 31R, 21M, 20F. 6 5AA frozen blasts. Our PGD probe was completed in late June (total of 20 weeks to develop). PGD and PGS Results came on 6/19: 3 healthy embryos (normal chromosomes and unaffected by my family's genetic disorder). FET #1: July 2013 Natural Cycle - Cancelled due to insufficient lining (only got to 7.5mm). FET #1.2: August 2013 - Medicated Cycle with Lupron & Estrogen Patches to build up lining. Single embryo transfer was 8/23. Beta #1: 240! Beta #2: 578! U/S on 9/19 at 6w4d: We saw the heart beating at 131bpm. Second U/S on 10/4 at 8w5d: We saw the heart beating at 178bpm. EDD 5/11/2014
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  • MrsSJE2011MrsSJE2011

    imagediamante1181:
    FMLA is the magic word. Request paperwork from your HR dept, have your doc's office fill it out. That's what I did, and that was the end of it. Legally.

    I have an "intermittent FMLA leave" actually for migraines, aka I can go when I need to and they cant give me *** for it.   My manager was the one who suggested it so that any days I have to miss due to it do not count against my annual review and, therefore, my annual raise.  Hopefully you are in a state that counts IF as an illness!

    Married: 7/2/11 TTC: 12/2011
    Me: 31, PCOS DH: 37, low morph and low counts

    4 medicated TI, 1 IUI+Femara, 1 IUI+GonalF = BFNs
    IVF #1 Lupron/GonalF (Dec 2012)= 30R, 21M, 21F with ICSI, 18 HIP frosties!!!
    FET in August 2013 

    http://i45.tinypic.com/21pym9.jpg

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  • AJC&MaggieAJC&Maggie member

    Thanks girls!

    I work for a major company and yes, I do have a HR department. I am leaving for vacation tomorrow. As soon as I get back I will go to HR if things still seem sticky.

    I totally hate this lady! She calls me "the princess" every time I make any kind of request.

    Me:35,  DH: 39   
    TTC since March 2011. All bloodword, SA & HSG are normal.  
    8/12: Clomid & TI - BFN 
    10/12: Colmid & TI - BFN 
    3/13:  Clomid, Trigger & IUI - BFN 
    4/13: Gonal F, Trigger & IUI: BFN  
    6/13: IVF #1 (1AA blast & 1BB blast) = BFN 
    8/13: FET #1= BFN
    10/13: FET #2= BFP!!!

    BabyFruit Ticker  image
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  • shell3879shell3879 member
    imageAJC&Maggie:

    Thanks girls!

    I work for a major company and yes, I do have a HR department. I am leaving for vacation tomorrow. As soon as I get back I will go to HR if things still seem sticky.

    I totally hate this lady! She calls me "the princess" every time I make any kind of request.

    Enjoy your vacation!  This witch sounds like she shouldn't be a manager!

    Me: 34 DH: 40
    Removed ovarian cysts in Mar 2010 & removed left ovary in May 2010
    TTC since Oct 2011
    Sep 2012 IUI #1 Natural cycle BFN
    Sep 2012 IUI #2 Natural cycle BFN
    Oct 2012 IUI #3 Natural cycle BFN
    Nov 2012 removed uterine polyp
    Feb 2013 IVF #1 ER 2/8: 13R,6M,6F, 3dt of 1 6-cell & 1 7-cell embie, beta hell resulted in blighted ovum.
    June 2013 IVF #2 cancelled due to lining too thick
    July 2013 IVF #2.1 ER 7/9, 9R,4M,2F, 3dt of 2 8-cell embies, BFN
    imageimageimage
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  • loveblacklabloveblacklab member
    Ugh she sounds like a real winner. Have a great vacationI hope she backs down!
    Anniversary
    My Food Blog
    DH and I: Both 31
    HSG, bloodwork, SA-possible blockage in right tube Continue TI July 2012 August 2012: Clomid 50mg + TI=bfn, switched RE September 2012: Redo HSG-blockage in right tube confirmed November 2012: Clomid 25mg, Bravelle + Trigger + IUI= ectopic pregnancy December 2012: emergency laparoscopy and D&C, removed right tube 2 more IUI's-one bfn, one CP IVF #1=CP FET#1=BFN IVF#2-converted to FET due to PGS testing and high progesterone levels. Only one good embryo from PGS-didn't survive thaw. transferred 2 embryos from IVF #1=BFP! 2 yolks sacs seen at 5w4d sonogram!
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