Newbie and please tell me about your miscarriage experiences — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Newbie and please tell me about your miscarriage experiences

Hi ladies. Unfortunately, I will be joining you. This is my 2nd loss...I had a natural miscarriage at 6 weeks back in November and just found out today that this baby doesn't have a heartbeat. Baby was supposed to be 9.5 weeks, but measured a little under 9 weeks. I had been having feelings like something was wrong, so I'm not terribly surprised, but am very sad. I could tell by looking at the ultrasound that there was no heartbeat, but the tech didn't confirm until the very end and I completely lost it.

The doctor gave me 3 options...let nature take its course, take Cytotec, or have a D&C.  I'm trying to weigh my options and I know that what may be right for one person is not necessarily right for the next, but I would love to hear your experience if you'd like to share.  Thanks!

1 miracle Earth baby and 5 Angel babies

~All welcome~

Re: Newbie and please tell me about your miscarriage experiences

  • Very sorry to hear about your loss.  My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage this month.  My first ultrasound the baby had no heartbeat - and it never got any better. I waited 3 weeks to let my body do it's thing, but it never happened and went in for the D&C which was last week.  Although the procedure scared me a bit, I'm glad I  took that route, although I wish I would have gotten it sooner.  The waiting was really awful.  Now I feel like I've got some closure and can move on.  Good luck with whatever you decide!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I had a dc yesterday, mine passed a month ago without me knowing so obviously my body wasn't going to take care of it naturally : it was very scary bc I've never had a surgery but glad I did it. It's a horrible thing to go through but once its all gone your body gets a fresh start : good luck with whatever you choose and here's to rainbow babies for all of us soon!
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  • I am sorry for both of your losses. I had a natural miscarriage in November, my due date was today. Thought I was 9 weeks, had some bleeding went to the ER ultrasound showed baby only measuring at 6 weeks and no heart beat. I was given the option of a D and C or let it happen naturally. I decided to let my body do it naturally. I bled for a few more days, had really bad cramping and my body did what it was supposed to. I don't regret doing it the natural way. I did take a week off of work and my fiance was with me during everything. I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own. It was difficult, but it also gave me some closure. The hardest part was the waiting. Good Luck!
  • I am so sorry for your loss.  Mine was two weeks ago.  I found out at 13 weeks that the baby had stopped growing sometime in week 7 just after I saw the heartbeat.  I went the D&C route although I started and almost finished naturally miscarrying before I got to the hospital.  After going through it, I would recommend the D&C hands down.  It really depends on how well you respond to being medicated.  I personally rebound quickly.  The procedure itself was painless since I was asleep.  Otherwise, I had some minor cramping over the last two weeks.  The worst part is the emotional recovery which you know all too well and which is the same regardless of your choice.

    The other consideration may be if you want to have any testing done which they can do with the D&C.  

    I am sorry you have to make this choice and wish you a quick recovery. 

    IVF#1 in March 2013.  BFP!  Due date 12/11/13.
    image Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lost my sweet angel...D&C on 6/11/13.

    IVF#2 in September.  BFP!  Due date 6/8/14!
  • We had a miscarriage earlier this year. We were going in the next day to discuss our options but the night before mine started naturally.. Which was the direction we were planning to go with anyway. It happened so fast and 28 days later I was back on track. 2 more cycles and we were pregnant again. I'm not sure if I would have gotten back on a regular cycle so quickly if we went another route.
    It's is your choice. I'm sorry that you have to go through it but I hope you get your baby soon.
    Thoughts and prayers!!
  • I'm so sorry for your loss! I started spotting on a Sunday, was told it was normal, went to ER on that Tuesday for heavy bleeding and horrible pain. Couldn't see anything on us. I was 6w4d. Was told either it was just too early to see anything, I was miscarrying, or It was ectopic. I passed the sac the next day and continued contracting and bleeding and passing tissue and clots for 4 more days. Went to my OB the following Monday and he said hcg went down to 100 & cervix closed up, I'd had a natural mc. Thought I had af this morning but I after a gush of blood this morning I haven't had any more bleeding... Hoping my body gets back to normal soon, I feel so messed up. Wish I had more advice for you as far as your options go. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way!
  • I had a MC at 11 1/2 weeks back in Feb and had a DnC the next day.  I am so happy I chose the DnC.  I wanted closure and could not handle having to wait a week or more to MC naturally.  

    I have never had any surgery of any kind so i was a bit nervous but all went fine.  I did not have any cramping or anything after the procedure and did not have any pain.  I did take a week off work. Dr recommended 1-2 weeks but I took a week since I am a teacher.  I needed the week, I was super emotional.  If I could have taken 2 I would have but then again it was good for me to get back to my routine.

    I knew that we wanted to TTC as soon as possible so after waiting 2 cycles we were able too.  With a natural MC, I would not know when everything was going to be complete plus I have heard of a few that have had to go on to have a DnC after a natural MC anyway.

    Hope this helps, I know everyone is different, if you have any other questions feel free to contact me.

    So so sorry for your loss. 


    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14

      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


  • I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I just found out I lost a baby Monday. I chose to have the dc Tuesday. I started losing it on my own before the procedure but didn't finish but did get pretty far that it only took the dr 6 min to clean me out. I've had a mc before and the first time just had the dc. Me personally I didn't want to go through the process of losing it on my own. Mentally for me the first dc was easier but everyone is different. Whatever you decide it's not easy any you are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Fucking bump!!!!
  • I am so sorry. I took cytotec on Monday. I had heard horror stories, but it wasn't terrible. The cramping was bad until this morning. I have had 3 losses, but I have passed them all naturally.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers m/c 01-07-10
  • So sorry for your loss. I naturally miscarried at 6 weeks so I really have no advice on procedure or meds. Will pray for you to have peace about whatever you decide. Hope your recovery is quick!!
    Pregnancy Ticker
    BFP 4/17/13, MC began 5/2/13 @ 6 weeks
    EDD 12/27/13
    TTC since 2/2013
    BFP#2 9/23/13 EDD 6/8/14
    My FF Chart

  • L RosL Ros
    Im so sorry to hear your loss. I hope you are finding comfort and strength where you need it. I chose to set my appointment for my D and C far enough out that the doctor was comfortable waiting, and I had a chance to pass it naturally. For us it was just over three weeks after the initial loss. I haven't passed naturally, and my appt for it is tomorrow, but Im glad I took the chance to give my body the choice. Im not one for modern medicine unless its really needed though, so that was why we wanted to wait. You will make the best choice for your body, just weigh your options and have faith in yourself. Mobile hugs!
  • I'm so sorry you have to make this decision.  I went in for an u/s last Thursday and the heart had stopped beating.  I should have been 9w3d but sac measured 6w1d and baby measured 8w0d.  I opted for a d&c the next day.  For my mental health I needed the physical part to be over quickly.  Because I had seen a heartbeat and then saw that it had stopped I was not holding out hope for a miracle or that the baby was just small.  I had very little cramping and very light spotting over the past week, except for when I tried to exercise on Tuesday which was too soon and I had a lot of cramping after that.  

    You have to do what's right for you, but since I wasn't bleeding at all I couldn't handle the thought of waiting weeks to see if my body would miscarry naturally.  Good luck. 

  • I have had three missed miscarriages.  For two of them I have had D&Cs (the other m/c was a twin so because I was still pregnant that miscarriage was very different).

    My two D&C experiences were vastly different.  My first wasn't very good - it was not a positive environment (it was done at a large teaching hospital and it was a very cold, just plain sad experience), I ended up having retained tissue and hemorrhaging about a week after my D&C then needing all kinds of things to get back to normal (including a blood transfusion and a long course of Methergine).  It was terrible and afterward I really swore I would never do a D&C again.

    However, sadly, I had another loss a few weeks ago and my OB really thought a D&C was the best option.  I have two toddlers and the idea of just waiting or drug induction (which doesn't always work and often causes a LOT of bleeding) were scary because of the unknown. Especially after my hemorrhaging after D&C #1.

    So we scheduled another D&C and thankfully it was a MUCH better experience.  It was at an outpatient surgical center and they were warm and took very good care of me, I had no issues afterward whatsoever and have physically healed very well.  Emotionally I am still having a hard time, but I was back to normal about 48 hours later and running again the next week. 

    One thing that helped me pick a D&C both times was the fact that many drug/natural miscarriages end up with an emergency D&C.  I would much rather have my D&C in a planned, controlled way then to do it when I am bleeding too much and need it emergently.   That, and something about having the physical part over helps me move forward emotionally.

    Everyone is different and every D&C is different.  I'm sorry you have to make this choice :(.

    Married 6/28/03

    Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10

    4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014


    No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.

    "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens


  • Thank you so much to everyone for your support and for sharing your experiences. It has really helped me to hear other people's real-life experiences, rather than just the doctor's cold medical opinions and statistics, in order to make such a difficult decision. I'm sorry that we have to be here, but I'm so thankful that I found this support. Thanks again!

    1 miracle Earth baby and 5 Angel babies

    ~All welcome~

  • I lost my baby when I was 6w3d pregnant. It was my first pregnancy. My Hcg levels weren't rising appropriately and my dr told me that I would probably miscarry. A week later, we saw my baby and there was a hb! We were so excited and felt really positive. Two days later, I started spotting and three days after that I lost my baby. It's the most devastating thing I've ever been through. 

    I want you to know that I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • spfclrspfclr
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic

    I did not have to make a decision because I miscarried naturally at 9 weeks, 6 days.  I was happy that I didn't have to decide.  For me the miscarriage was not physically painful, just very mild cramps and back pain, and heavy blood followed by lighter bleeding for almost 2 weeks.  

    I was happy that I hadn't yet had an ultrasound since based on the "tissue mass" that came out my doctor suspected the baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks.  

    There is no perfect answer - good luck with whatever you decide!! 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC #2 since April 2012

    Year 1 - nothing

    Year 2 - two m/c

    Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole

    Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral

    Year 5 - trying on our own

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