Multiples

Sorry needed to vent

This hospital is driving me crazy. I know I have to be here but I can't take another day I been here since May and its driving me up the wall. I want to go home I miss my kids I miss my house I miss everything I get to see my kids but not very often. All I do is cry, eat and sleep. This pregnancy is the worse pregnancy I ever had in my life. I never had to stay in the hospital this long they barely let me shower the mess with me all night they change my IV every four days they check my blood pressure temp every hour they monitor the girls all day and night the food is nasty and I'm stressed out. I'm happy I'm holding my girls in things getting better but they still won't let me go home because my water bag can pop any day only. I'm sick of this I want to check myself out the hospital but I don't want to go home and things goes south. It's so depressing here I think I met all the nurses and doctors here I'm tired I want to go home I made it to 31 weeks ill be 32 weeks Sunday if my kids not out by 35 weeks I'm checking myself out I can't take this I'm slowly counting down the days I'm so hurt to have to be here :,( 

Re: Sorry needed to vent

  • Bed rest sucks. Hospital bedrest sucks even more. But having preemies in the NICU is even worse. This is such a short time in the grand scheme of things and every day really does count. You're doing a great job.
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  • I'm so sorry! I was in the hospital for 61 days on modified bedrest, 3+ hours away from my DH and older two. It. was. tough!!!!

    One of the nice things my dr did for me was to push my meds apart at night so I could get at least 6 hours uninterrupted sleep. He also approved and posted DO NOT DISTURB on my door during the hours of 11p-6a. He also prescribed Benadryl in the evenings to help me sleep since I was so congested and the hallway noises were always waking me up. I was a HOT MESS.

    I was getting inundated two times daily with the student nurses and I had them put a NO STUDENTS ALLOWED sign on my door too. I hated to be like that but I'd had ENOUGH. Go mess with someone else for a change.

    Hugs... 


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  • I'm so sorry. You are doing a great job and you are getting close to the end. I was only in the hospital for 3 days and it was more than enough for me. I give you so much credit for how long you've stayed. It blows, but you can do it.
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  • JoDocJoDoc member

    Vent away!!!  I have been confined to a chair or inside my home in the past due to foot surgery, I'm praying I don't end up on bedrest with these babies.  It drove me insane. 

    Is there any way the nurse can put you in a wheelchair and at least have your hubby wheel you around inside the hospital?  Maybe even to the entryway so you can get some sunlight and fresh air?  I mean, I wouldn't suggest you walk, but sitting in the chair at least you'd get some change of scenery.  Ask if maybe once a week or so hubby could bring you supper, or snacks, anything other than hospital food. 

    I agree with PP, in the grand scheme of things this time is short compared to having the babies in NICU, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating.  My thoughts and prayers are with you. 

     

  • imageMissa_g:
    Bed rest sucks. Hospital bedrest sucks even more. But having preemies in the NICU is even worse. This is such a short time in the grand scheme of things and every day really does count. You're doing a great job.

    This, this, and this. Keep it up -- hang in there, and vent all you need! I was bored how fast even the food started repeating itself, and I was only in the hospital for nearly two weeks from start to finish.

    32 weeks is awesome, but every additional week means a ton for your LOs. I hated hospital BR with a passion, but in hindsight would have stayed there for a year if it meant no NICU time! 

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  • Sorry, that sounds awful.  The only thing I can say is that you have to stick it out til at least 35-36w otherwise you'll probably have nicu time and you'll regret it afterwards.  Right now they are way too early for you to think about leaving.

     

    my twins were born at 36w by choice (long story, ) and my dd had to stay in the nicu for 2 weeks, even at 36w.  I always regretted it and wished I could have kept them in until they were ready to come out. 

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  • I agree with PP about wheelchair rides. One of my sweet nurses got dr permission to take me on a chair ride to the gift shop and then out to the hospital's courtyard so I could feel the sun and hear the birds a few times. It lifted my spirits 100%! They also let me change rooms after the first month to a larger room that opened up (perks of making friends with the nurses and staff) There was also a family counselor on staff that started coming to see me just so I could chat about whatever was on my heart.

    I made it to 34w5d and my girls were in the NICU for 8 days for CPAP for 36 hours, then it was body temp regulation as well as feeding. I stayed at a Ronald McDonald House that was in walking distance. It was a long 8 days, but I saw so many babies there that were born much earlier and were having a tough time. I am so thankful I stuck it out, one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, and made it that far at least.  Looking back I know it was definitely worth every second I was there.


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  • I'm a lurking RN (still TTC), but reading your post, my heart just goes out to you!! I work in the ICU and so we frequently have pts who stay with us 3-4 weeks, and it is so, so, so hard for them (and usually they're on ventilators most of that time, if they're that sick)- the disruptions are unreal and would mess with anyone's head, I can hardly imagine 2-3 months. I'd ask for a meeting with your partner, your main doctor(s), the charge nurse or nurse manager for the unit, and maybe the hospital's chaplain to try to work out a schedule that works for you- no vitals from 11p-6a would be my number 1 suggestion (and would they maybe let you go to q2hr vitals?), daily wheelchair rides outside if at all possible, and maybe even if they might consider a PICC line (can be left in longer, they can draw labs off it if you're getting frequent lab draws, tho there is a risk of infection to consider) vs peripheral IVs that have to be changed out frequently since you still have 3 weeks to go. I would calmly, rationally mention that you are considering checking out AMA unless you can get some changes to this routine because it's just too much to take. Write down what would help you most, and have your partner on the same page, and they should try to work with you on this. <3

     Also- could people bring in meals for you? I know most hospitals will allow this if the person doesn't require a very specific diet. Even if it's just dinner every other day, maybe some friends would be wiling to swing by with some home-cooked meals? Can a friend come in and give you a mani-pedi once a week?

    I hope things get better soon. Hang in there. You're doing what you need to do for your kiddos, but I suspect there are some things that could be changed to make it easier on you.

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  • Aww I am so sorry to hear this, but as PP said, you are doing such a good job! 

    I am already compiling a list of things to do during potential bed rest: books to read, career enhancing materials (like teaching myself some new things for when I go back to work), etc. I figure it would also be a good time to learn to knit - there are a lot of youtube videos out there, maybe a friend could bring some yarn and knitting needles.

    Agreed with PP as well - perhaps someone can bring in some food for you, or come in and do mani pedi. When mh was in the hospital, which included over thanksgiving, we were allowed to bring him all sorts of leftovers to eat - he ate better than I did!!  

    I'm so sad you are missing your kids - can someone bring them more often?

    We are all here for you! Glad you reached out. I'd be sick of it too after two months, but you are over the hump!!  

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  • I was only on home bed rest but it was for 10 weeks and that was after I was admitted for ptl for 4 days. I can only imagine hospital bed rest instead of my home bed rest. 

    I would make a list of things that could make it easier on you (no vitals at night, no students, outside food, wheelchair rides, etc). and have a meeting set up with anyone who can help you get them. Also, maybe ask your DH to bring in a sound machine, an eye mask and movies you haven't seen that you can watch on a laptop. That was you can nap during the day if you want, or watch new movies.. the sound machine should help you relax at night esp if no one is coming in and bothering you. Leaving AMA is a big risk, and I'm sure that is just your frustration talking :)

     
    One other thing that really helped me is that when I went on bed rest there were a bunch of others from my BMB that also went on bed rest. We made a bed rest group on fb and we could vent and chat to each other when it got bad. We still talk and our babies are 15-16 mos old! 

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