Vent

ktedmon

So, I announced the girl and boy names I have decided on and BD who is not going to have much involvement is like you should name it Michael or Michelle. First of all, Michelle is my sister's name and none of his other kids (6) have or are going to have his name so he thinks he can bully me into changing it? I don't think so. e's not even going to be there at the birth, so because of the way he's treated me and reacted to this pregnancy and lack of involvement, I don't think he gets much of a vote. I deleted his response because I don't want to deal with him and then he gets mad. I wish he'd just go away. He doesn't take care of his other kids and says that's only because he's not allowed to be involved. I don't know how he plans to do that considering he doesn't work and lives with his mother and gambles away his SSI. Sorry for the rant. I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for putting up with it.

ktedmon

He only had 3 at the time we were together. He forgot to mention that two more were due this year, mine make three and the girl he dated after me is also pregnant. I didn't know that his MO was to get a girl pregnant and then break up after confirmation. Also, this wasn't the first time that e's mentioned it. When I first told him the names, he said, "no, you mean Michael". I told him no, I had said it right the first time. It's just that he won't drop it. He says it's important to him and the only reason I can think is because his other baby mommas also refuse.

TarHeels&Rebels

Seems he needs to learn how to put on a condom. You should send him a YouTube health ed video with the banana demonstration since he apparently missed that in school. 

If you don't like Michael or Michelle, don't use it. There's no legal right that he have a say in his children's names. Name them whatever you want.  

And I don't know if this has been discussed previously, but give the baby your LN, not his. Baby daddy will never be around, and that child will grow up wanting the name of the family who loves him/her and cares for him/her. When my dad died when I was little, my mom went back to her maiden. I hated having a different LN and feeling separate from the family I knew and loved, my mom's family. 

SpruceGrouse

If he is not involved then he doesn't get a say, I don't think he even can suggest because he isn't the real Dad, just a sperm donor and I don't think sperm donors request names for their sperm.

caittozer

If my math is right, he has gotten two more women pregnant since you. Maybe one of them will name their baby Michael or Michelle...

JemmaWRX

This guy has super sperm!

Anyway, even though he sounds like a loser he should at least be able to voice his opinion as the biological father of the kid.  You don't necessarily have to use it but don't get all pissy that he's interested and wants to throw out some suggestions.  Just say "Michelle is not an option since that's my sister's name and I'm simply not a fan of Michael if it's a boy.  But thank you for your suggestion."

catahoulatte

That's a lot of babies (and plenty of other opportunities to use whatever names he wants with someone else). Is this guy like the smoothest talker EVER or something? I'm sorry, I know it's not why you are venting here, but what makes someone have unprotected sex with someone KNOWING about 3 other kids with 3 other moms?

meganandchase

Major side-eye to those of you claiming he gets a say in the name.  He gets women pregnant and leaves them.  He has no active role in parenting the children he creates.  He seems to be quite a loser.  And for some reason, you think that this sperm donor gets to have a say in what the child is named?  Especially considering the fact that he wants the child named after himself?!?!  I think it's great to name children after people who are deserving of the honor.  That's not the case here.

ktedmon

In my defense, I didn't know that he didn't take care of them until his oldest child's mom said something when I was skyping with but still, it was one stupid decision that will last me a life time. I will accept that being a stupid decision on my part. My child will have my last name and it's just frustrating that I have told him no on Michael or other girl names with the same sound (Michaela) and he keeps trying to push the issue.

Ramark

OP is already pregnant so scolding her on what she should've done is pointless and insulting the life she's carrying. Yes she should have made different choices but I'm assuming she sees that now.

I agree BD doesn't have much say at all. Perhaps just smile and nod and say you'll think about it? Then just choose the name you love.