UOs

acaudill75

Lets get this party started, right ...

DH and I just argued about this. The ILs pissed their savings away at the casinos and took a mortgage on their home. Now they have nothing and their car is about to crap out. DH seems to think that it our responsibility to pay for a new car for them.

My UO is that I don't think I should have to pay for anything for them. I didn't tell them to run through their savings. I think adults should pay their own way, and take responsibility for their actions, regardless of their age. 

MrsCodeMonkey

Ouch, OP, that's a tough one. Would they have bailed you out if the situation was reversed? And I don't mean a brand new car or anything.

My UO, nice salons are overrated. I finally booked a cut and color last week with the owner of this nice salon. He has a great rep so I was excited. I walked out looking more or less the same with 5 inches shorter and a slight red barely noticeable. I wanted a big change and he talked me out of it. I bet a mall salon would have done what I asked. Would I have looked like a skunk in a few weeks? Maybe... I still say I'm not pleased and it cost a fortune. And he talked me into shampoo that was 27 for an 8 oz bottle. Sheesh!

suv75

Started last night...see East Coast UO thread.

robinsokj

f'uck that.  Theres no way in hell I'd bail them out.  And if my H insisted on it it would probably lead to divorce

acaudill75

MrsCodeMonkey:

Ouch, OP, that's a tough one. Would they have bailed you out if the situation was reversed? And I don't mean a brand new car or anything. My UO, nice salons are overrated. I finally booked a cut and color last week with the owner of this nice salon. He has a great rep so I was excited. I walked out looking more or less the same with 5 inches shorter and a slight red barely noticeable. I wanted a big change and he talked me out of it. I bet a mall salon would have done what I asked. Would I have looked like a skunk in a few weeks? Maybe... I still say I'm not pleased and it cost a fortune. And he talked me into shampoo that was 27 for an 8 oz bottle. Sheesh!

My mom passed away last week, and I offered to let them live in her house, rent free (and it is a much nicer home). This way they could free up the equity that is left in their home and pay the bills themselves. They are acting like I am going to sell the house from under them and then they won't have any place to go. I made it clear that while they are there, I won't sell unless we have no other option. Meanwhile, my BIL isn't lifting a finger, and he and his wife have more money than I will ever see.

I think my bailout was enough.

robinsokj

acaudill75:

MrsCodeMonkey:

Ouch, OP, that's a tough one. Would they have bailed you out if the situation was reversed? And I don't mean a brand new car or anything. My UO, nice salons are overrated. I finally booked a cut and color last week with the owner of this nice salon. He has a great rep so I was excited. I walked out looking more or less the same with 5 inches shorter and a slight red barely noticeable. I wanted a big change and he talked me out of it. I bet a mall salon would have done what I asked. Would I have looked like a skunk in a few weeks? Maybe... I still say I'm not pleased and it cost a fortune. And he talked me into shampoo that was 27 for an 8 oz bottle. Sheesh!

My mom passed away last week, and I offered to let them live in her house, rent free (and it is a much nicer home). This way they could free up the equity that is left in their home and pay the bills themselves. They are acting like I am going to sell the house from under them and then they won't have any place to go. I made it clear that while they are there, I won't sell unless we have no other option. Meanwhile, my BIL isn't lifting a finger, and he and his wife have more money than I will ever see.

I think my bailout was enough.

Your bailout is enabling them.  I wouldn't have done a damn thing

acaudill75

robinsokj:

acaudill75:

MrsCodeMonkey:

Ouch, OP, that's a tough one. Would they have bailed you out if the situation was reversed? And I don't mean a brand new car or anything. My UO, nice salons are overrated. I finally booked a cut and color last week with the owner of this nice salon. He has a great rep so I was excited. I walked out looking more or less the same with 5 inches shorter and a slight red barely noticeable. I wanted a big change and he talked me out of it. I bet a mall salon would have done what I asked. Would I have looked like a skunk in a few weeks? Maybe... I still say I'm not pleased and it cost a fortune. And he talked me into shampoo that was 27 for an 8 oz bottle. Sheesh!

My mom passed away last week, and I offered to let them live in her house, rent free (and it is a much nicer home). This way they could free up the equity that is left in their home and pay the bills themselves. They are acting like I am going to sell the house from under them and then they won't have any place to go. I made it clear that while they are there, I won't sell unless we have no other option. Meanwhile, my BIL isn't lifting a finger, and he and his wife have more money than I will ever see.

I think my bailout was enough.

Your bailout is enabling them.  I wouldn't have done a damn thing

Its kind of selfish in the sense that I need someone in the house anyway. While I could rent it out, the people that would rent in that area are PITAs, and also, it keeps the ILs out of my house, which would be the alternative in DH's eyes. So, I'm in fact being selfish.

missyishere

I'm sorry about your mother's passing, acaudill.

klondikebar

I'm sorry about your mom, acaudill. I think you have been more than generous. I would have no problem providing assistance for transportation (especially if it was the only option available to get to work) if family fell on hard times through no fault of their own and I would never let children go hungry, but I won't enable people.

acaudill75

missyishere:

I'm sorry about your mother's passing, acaudill.

Thank you.

acaudill75

KlondikeBar:

I'm sorry about your mom, acaudill. I think you have been more than generous. I would have no problem providing assistance for transportation (especially if it was the only option available to get to work) if family fell on hard times through no fault of their own and I would never let children go hungry, but I won't enable people.

Thanks. I just felt that it was a great solution all around, and then they could afford to pay for their own car.

acaudill75

Pfft:

UO: Adults should not use baby powder or baby lotion as "perfume".

Ugh. People here do that all the time. The women walk around and you can see the baby powder between their boobs and under their arms. So nasty.

klondikebar

I'd take it a step further before I helped them. Free rent if they ban themselves from the casino. Not all states have this option available though.

acaudill75

Pfft:

Sorry acaudill.

Thanks. I really didn't mean to turn the UO into "that post" so I apologize for that.

phunkyphish

Pfft:

UO: Adults should not use baby powder or baby lotion as "perfume".

 

I hope this is not unpopular, who does this? Also, remember Baby Soft? Ah, middle school.  

phunkyphish

My first UO post! 

I really think there should be some sort of logic/common sense test given with the practical driving test.  

angelashly

BostonKisses2:

I don't blame you for not bailing them out.  I agree that they're adults and need to take responsibility for their actions (and face the consequences).  I do think there are cases where it's fine to help out family, like if they fall on hard times or something like that, but after blowing their savings at a casino?  Yeah, no financial help from me.  I would, however, try to help them get help if there's a gambling addiction at play.

This is how I feel. I am all about helping people who are down on their luck by no choice. If they had been laid off and couldn't find a job then I would help them get a car. Other than that I have my own family to take care of. I also agree though to try and get them some gambling addiction help.

ETA: Just saw your follow up posts. Sorry for your mom and I thinking you are doing more than I would by letting them live in the house, but I see what you mean about it working for both parties. Good Luck!

MrsCodeMonkey

acaudill75:

MrsCodeMonkey:

Ouch, OP, that's a tough one. Would they have bailed you out if the situation was reversed? And I don't mean a brand new car or anything. My UO, nice salons are overrated. I finally booked a cut and color last week with the owner of this nice salon. He has a great rep so I was excited. I walked out looking more or less the same with 5 inches shorter and a slight red barely noticeable. I wanted a big change and he talked me out of it. I bet a mall salon would have done what I asked. Would I have looked like a skunk in a few weeks? Maybe... I still say I'm not pleased and it cost a fortune. And he talked me into shampoo that was 27 for an 8 oz bottle. Sheesh!

My mom passed away last week, and I offered to let them live in her house, rent free (and it is a much nicer home). This way they could free up the equity that is left in their home and pay the bills themselves. They are acting like I am going to sell the house from under them and then they won't have any place to go. I made it clear that while they are there, I won't sell unless we have no other option. Meanwhile, my BIL isn't lifting a finger, and he and his wife have more money than I will ever see.

I think my bailout was enough.

I'm sorry for your loss. That is generous of you. If they don't want to take you up on it, that's on them.

NotSharknado

Sorry, acudill.

UO: I don't care if there was a UO east coast started last night, I'm not posting in it because I don't like change.

Jdismybug1

I cant stand micro managing employees. I undersrand if your employees need to baby sat. But when youve been doing your job for 6 yrs, and do it well theres no need for this.

missyishere

There should be a disinitegrating pregnancy test that doubles as a toilet cleanser?!

MrsCodeMonkey

acaudill75:

Pfft:

UO: Adults should not use baby powder or baby lotion as "perfume".

Ugh. People here do that all the time. The women walk around and you can see the baby powder between their boobs and under their arms. So nasty.

Ewww! I hate that smell. I only sport deodorant fragrance or shampoo. DH is set off by my perfume and I go without so he won't get migranes. I miss my perfume badly! When he's gone on a business trip I go to town...perfume, candles, lotions.

angelashly

My first UO.

I don't think that I believe in the whole "divorce is not an option" way of thinking. I thought I used to and i know that it is probably works for some marriages, but I was talking to my friend who has this thinking and her husband treats her like crap and is gone all the time and why not he knows she isn't going to leave him. I think this can only work if both parties are invested in the marriage and making it work. I have no doubt that if it came down to it he would divorce her no problem. It is making me question this way of thinking.

acesup

I don't find Benedict Cumberbatch the least bit attractive.

NotSharknado

LoisLayn23:

shanado:

Sorry, acudill. UO: I don't care if there was a UO east coast started last night, I'm not posting in it because I don't like change.

I'm really confused by  today. I don't want to "choose" UO threads.

Pants on babies are silly unless it's cold. Or if you are meeting the president.

I saw it last night, I didn't know it was supposed to be the actual UO. I mean, I'll check it here there just see if anything interesting pops up, but that's it.........maybe.

Drea926

I'm super excited they're making 50 Shades of Grey into a movie. I loved the trashy book and I'm hoping the movie is just as horrible. I will enjoy every sordid minute. ;-)

amykins1283

Old fashioned clothes bubbles, peter pan collars, etc. on boys are ugly.

Paying bunches of money for kids clothes is dumb.

There. Now I'm covered on both threads.

izzourclue

MollusksWrangler:

I already used mine in the other thread but essentially I prefer the minivan, I love it.

See in other thread, strongly agree.  

seahorse102410

robinsokj:

f'uck that.  Theres no way in hell I'd bail them out.  And if my H insisted on it it would probably lead to divorce

 This is exactly what I was going to say!

angelashly

andrea99:

Not sure if this is a UO, but my former boss used to argue this a lot...

Just because your grand kids are mixed, does not automatically mean you're not racist. Your kid chose to procreate with someone of a different race, not you. Don't preface rude sh!t with "I can't be racist because my grandson is mixed." Doesn't work that way. 

I'll take it a step further based on my own experiences. Just because you are married to someone of another race and have biracial kids doesn't make it so you are automatically not a racist. Therefore you think you can say racist crap and then pull the whole "I have mixed kids and my SO is of another race so I am not racist" yes, yes you are.

izzourclue

I actually have one.  I just can't get it up lately to read and respond to the family drama threads.  Not the "DH is a d!ck" threads because I always find it interesting what some women put up with from their Hs and how immature grown men with children can actually be.  But the MIL, SIL, 2nd cousins, SMIL, SFIL threads are just whatever to me.  

NotSharknado

HilarityEnsued:

suv75:

Started last night...see East Coast UO thread.

It doesn't count when it's started on Wednesday.

No dice there.

West Coast 4 Lyfe!!!!!!!!11!!!!

seahorse102410

I think its dumb when the husband sends the wife flowers on her first day back from mat leave.  How about the poor girl who's been covering her for the past 16 weeks!

NotSharknado

amykins1283:

Old fashioned clothes bubbles, peter pan collars, etc. on boys are ugly.

Paying bunches of money for kids clothes is dumb.

There. Now I'm covered on both threads.

Im guilty of some of the above. Is it still dumb if it always gets passed down to another kid? Twofer?

ReeseFox

seahorse102410:

I think its dumb when the husband sends the wife flowers on her first day back from mat leave. nbsp;How about the poor girl who's been covering her for the past 16 weeks!

I would have loved flowers from my husband. I was a complete mess my first day back. I don't understand what that has to do with the person who filled in while I was out, though.

amykins1283

Onederful Mother:

amykins1283:

Old fashioned clothes bubbles, peter pan collars, etc. on boys are ugly.

Paying bunches of money for kids clothes is dumb.

There. Now I'm covered on both threads.

Disagree. All of the higher quality clothing I purchased for my son was resellable. Once I resold it on ebay or at consignment sales, I generally broke even. Sometimes I actually made money.

Eh. I'm just too lazy for the reselling thing. I just get most of my kds clothes secondhand then donate it when I'm done.

seahorse102410

Onederful Mother:

seahorse102410:

I think its dumb when the husband sends the wife flowers on her first day back from mat leave.  How about the poor girl who's been covering her for the past 16 weeks!

lol. This seems personal. Did you just have to cover someone for 16 weeks?

Gosh.  Am I that transparent.   Yes.  For the 3rd time.  

izzourclue

HilarityEnsued:

Onederful Mother:

izzourclue:

I actually have one.  I just can't get it up lately to read and respond to the family drama threads.  Not the "DH is a d!ck" threads because I always find it interesting what some women put up with from their Hs and how immature grown men with children can actually be.  But the MIL, SIL, 2nd cousins, SMIL, SFIL threads are just whatever to me.  

I never read those, either. I got tired of them around 3-6 months when everyone was bitching about their MIL's referring to their baby as "my baby". 

I have stopped responding to them because my response is usually something along the lines of, "stop being a f'ucking doormat, speak up for yourself, and don't accept this kind of nonsense anymore".

That's usually not well received.

Yeah, my response is always the same too.  "Don't be around assh0les."  Family relationships don't have to be so complicated if you just assert yourself a little bit.  Also, I have just stopped finding it interesting.   

MrsGoodkat

andrea99:

Not sure if this is a UO, but my former boss used to argue this a lot...

Just because your grand kids are mixed, does not automatically mean you're not racist. Your kid chose to procreate with someone of a different race, not you. Don't preface rude sh!t with "I can't be racist because my grandson is mixed." Doesn't work that way. 

My uncle is a huge racist and his son-in-law and grandson are mixed. I just know when my cousin first started dating her now husband my uncle was probably fuming on the inside. He's the man who refused to marry a woman because she was 1/4 Italian. Yeah, he could have mellowed over the last 35 years but I know it still bothers him that his daughter married someone not white, sad as it is. 

izzourclue

seahorse102410:

Onederful Mother:

seahorse102410:

I think its dumb when the husband sends the wife flowers on her first day back from mat leave.  How about the poor girl who's been covering her for the past 16 weeks!

lol. This seems personal. Did you just have to cover someone for 16 weeks?

Gosh.  Am I that transparent.   Yes.  For the 3rd time.  

I think it would be nice for the returning mom to acknowledge the person that may have been put out by her maternity leave like with a Starbucks gift card or something.  Nothing extravagant, just a nice thank you.  But I think it's also great for the Hs to recognize that the mom might be having a rough time emotionally coming back and show them a little support and cheer.  I think it's sweet.

acaudill75

HilarityEnsued:

Pfft:

UO: Adults should not use baby powder or baby lotion as "perfume".

To further this (and I'm actually gagging thinking about the smell of baby powder perfume)...

I think there are very few environments/occasions where it is acceptable or a good idea to wear perfume.  

We went to see Tosh last weekend and the effing wench in front of me went for a perfume bath prior to arrival.  My eyes were seriously watering within 10 minutes. 

A tiny spritz for just a little scent is fine.  But if your stank a$s is leaving a trail of smell whereever you go, you're gross.

I'm so jealous you got to see Tosh. How was he?