June 2012 Moms
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Kinda PO's at family--vent

So DS just had his first birthday...things went as smoothly as possible for his birthday (on Thursday) and the party.

Some background info: 

My first cousin has twin boys. I went to their first birthday last year and even though I wan't invited to the party this year, I still sent them a present (this was in March). If I hadn't seen my cousin at a funeral, I doubt I would even know they received their gift. 

My second cousin has three boys and I have been to every birthday for them (they are 6, 3, and 1).

Since DH's and my parents are divorced it made it impossible to invite extended family to his party, so my first cousin who lives 1.5 hours away weren't invited (not that they would have come anyway--they haven't come to anything I have invited them to in 5 years) and my second cousin was "unoffially" invited (he has a brother and a sister that I didn't invite) purely out of the fact that I do not have the space to invite everyone and I explained that to them. It ended up being a party of almost 30 people and I really wanted to keep the party small, which was impossible after grandparents and aunts/uncles and godparents were invited.

So after all that background the reason I am upset is that there wasn't any acknowledgment of DS's birthday other than a like to my status on facebook, not even a card.  I drove 1.5 while pregnant to go to the first cousin's party and sent a gift for the second birthday, and went to all the other parties for my other cousin, and DS doesn't even get a crappy card--well I've had enough of this crap--I get flack from my family because I live "far" away and don't come to visit, but when I do I have to make it convenient for them. I drive 1.5 hours and then they want me to travel around the city to see everyone--not ok! I'm not going to go out of my way to do nice stuff for them anymore. I'm going to save the money I would spend on their kids and spend it on DS instead.

And it is not about the present, like I said a card (even an e-card which is free). Just the acknowledgement is all! It is just so aggravating that I spend the time and money on them and get no respect in return!  

OK vent over! 

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Re: Kinda PO's at family--vent

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    I understand where you're coming from. The same thing happens with one of my BILs. H I always acknowledge important events, birthdays, and holidays for his family but we don't get the same in return.

    It is annoying but I don't think I'll stop sending the kids gifts. They can't help what their parents do or don't do.


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    I probably won't for cousin #2, but for the first cousin I mention, I am just tried of always getting the shaft and it isn't just her, it is her mom and sister, my aunt and other cousin, and I've just had enough. My family and me always have to be the one to sacrifice or cater to them (my aunt walks all over my mom and I hate it) and I'm not going to stand for it any more.

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    imageNSYoder26:
    I probably won't for cousin 2, but for the first cousin I mention, I am just tried of always getting the shaft and it isn't just her, it is her mom and sister, my aunt and other cousin, and I've just had enough. My family and me always have to be the one to sacrifice or cater to them my aunt walks all over my mom and I hate it and I'm not going to stand for it any more.


    I don't blame you for being fed up. That sounds like a crappy situation.

    Good for you for not putting up with it anymore!
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    This situation would totally irritate me if I was in your shoes. Some of my closest girlfriends didn't acknowlege my sons 1st bday and it ticked me off. I know how you feel. I'm sorry! :/

     

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    I guess I'm the minority but that wouldn't have bothered me one bit. The only people who called or sent DS a card, other than the 15 people at his party, were my mom, dad, and brother/sil.

    I can't remember everyone's bday and I don't expect everyone to remember ours. I am lucky to remember immidiate family members.

    That's just me though.
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    imageGismo123:
    I guess I'm the minority but that wouldn't have bothered me one bit. The only people who called or sent DS a card, other than the 15 people at his party, were my mom, dad, and brother/sil. I can't remember everyone's bday and I don't expect everyone to remember ours. I am lucky to remember immidiate family members. That's just me though.

     

    this is me too....my own siblings didn't do or wish Ds a happy birthday. I know hey are in their own lives and although I was a little annoyed since I have always given a present to their kids, I let it go because I cannot expect them to do the same and when it comes odown to it, I know no one is trying to hurt anyone intentionally. Everyone is just consumed with their own lives.

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    Cousins would not  bother me but i see where you are coming from. I am miffed at my bil, he is my husband's brother.  We are very generous with my niece. We purchased her communion dress when they were having money problems, I talked everyone into going in on a wii and I stalked it when they were really popular because my bil was having medical problems and I wanted her to have a nice tenth birthday, they live three hours away from everyone and I always make sure she gets her birthday cards  etc...  On time.  Well last year I had just had DS, no phone call from them to even acknowledge the birth we had to drive to them for them to even see him. We had DS in June and my nieces birthday is in Aug. normally we drive to them to celebrate Labor Day weekend.  Last year they canceled at last minute. I made sure they knew we would give her the gift the next time we see them my mil told them the same thing about her gift they were suppose to come to ds's baptism.  They had the nerve to tell my mil that she thinks we forgot her birthday meanwhile they did nit show up to the baptism we drove to them less than week later gave them the birthday gift no mentioning of the baptism much less a card and this year they RSVP no to ds party and not even a card. I told my husband I am done with them and it will be very hurtful if they acknowledge my nephews first birthday   given we did not even receive. Phone call and are the only ones who go out of our way to see them when they are the ones that moved away from the family.  
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