does IF consume you too or just me

Peanutz21

DH is beginning to think IF has totally consumed my being.  He's beginning to hint that I may have a serious problem....maybe because I cry from time to time (but I blame that on all those hormones). I was wondering how much IF affects you ladies...? Do you think about it atleast daily? More than daily...? 

Maybe I need to find more hobbies to preoccupy myself...but I mean, so far I'm the one thats been injecting myself and getting these transvag ultrasounds done.  Also, did I mention my arms look like a junkie's arms...? Sometimes I get a bad phlebotomist and I will be bruised for a few days...

Are any of you seeking therapy/counseling..? 

HeatherHam10

Um i think i think about it as of lately about 23.5 out of 24 hrs a day. Before IVF maybe about half that but yes...it consumes me! Sometimes just need to take a step back and a night off of IF brain and enjoy just the two of you.

NYCGal276

If I was any more emotionally exhausted, I'd just drop dead.

krdesi

You are definitely not the only one.

megs3084

You're not the only one. I've found blogging helps me get my feelings out and have started therapy as well. It was important to me to find one that had background knowledge of women's health and fertility issues. I've seen a big improvement in my anxiety. I also try to do nice things for myself. I started acupuncture and find it very relaxing.

AnnaLynn83

My DH has said the same thing! I think we ALL think about IF the majority of the day when not completely distracted by work, etc. In my opinion, men have the ability to turn their brains off about certain subjects where it can just drive us women mad. I wish I could make myself stop thinking about IF but it's usually always with me. My DH read "What He Can Expect When She's NOT Expecting" and I really think it helped put it all into perspective for him. Good Luck!

thebeefamily

IF has consumed me. I started therapy again last month and spent three hours letting the emotional baggage pour out to my therapist. He let me go on and on until I was done. I felt like I'd purged, but now it feels like I'm back to pre-planning cycles months in advance with the same hopeless feeling because what's going to be different this time? IF is a vicious cycle.

Any who just know you're not alone. This is a rough journey and it can consume you even if you don't want it to.

Josiecat

I don't think the word "consume" quite describes it... more like... "eat, sleep, drink, pee, walk, talk, pet-the-cat...." in other words, it's all I ever think about.

Sometimes, something as small as running out of toilet paper makes me burst into tears and wonder why EVERYTHING goes wrong in my life. Hormonal? Maybe. Really fed up with having a strong urge to mother and no baby around to take care of? That's more like it.

My husband and I do see a counselor every 2 weeks. She basically validates my feelings and helps me talk them out. I also do some yoga (not the sweat-until-you-pass-out kind), cook, clean, take photos... anything to keep my mind busy.

The fact that my body belongs to science during what is supposed to be a very intimate time in my life has had me up in arms lately. It makes me feel isolated from the "real" world, and it's maddening.

You're really not alone with IF consuming you. We are all desperate to be mothers, and when you want something THAT badly, it's all you can think about. And it sucks.

kjf114

Like the other ladies said for sure your not the only one. Nobody knows what it's like coming from the other end unless they have dealt with infertitly. I told mil I'm trying my best to not let it and enjoy life while waiting even though its been so long. I did get into blogging on a personal site so I can go back and read how I felt. Also going on here helps a lot cause your not alone. Lastly I started taking an online course in photography which keeps my mind busy.

Lovemuffin1125

You are definitely not alone! I think about it all the time, and sometimes, I think it is unhealthy for me. I thought about going to therapy, but I haven't had the courage to pick up the phone for that. I'm in between IVF cycles now and kind of feel more like myself, but I think about it all the time from insurance to acupuncture. I was thinking about starting journaling and going to yoga.

kz's_girlygirl

Josiecat:

The fact that my body belongs to science during what is supposed to be a very intimate time in my life has had me up in arms lately. It makes me feel isolated from the "real" world, and it's maddening.

You're really not alone with IF consuming you. We are all desperate to be mothers, and when you want something THAT badly, it's all you can think about. And it sucks.

This exactly.  It makes me frustrated (to put it nicely!) that something so intimate and special has become something very clinical and prescribed.  I definitely think about it a lot, especially when we are getting ready for or currently in a cycle.  

 

RosyGlow

Josiecat:

I don't think the word "consume" quite describes it... more like... "eat, sleep, drink, pee, walk, talk, petthecat...." in other words, it's all I ever think about.Sometimes, something as small as running out of toilet paper makes me burst into tears and wonder why EVERYTHING goes wrong in my life. Hormonal? Maybe. Really fed up with having a strong urge to mother and no baby around to take care of? That's more like it.My husband and I do see a counselor every 2 weeks. She basically validates my feelings and helps me talk them out. I also do some yoga not the sweatuntilyoupassout kind, cook, clean, take photos... anything to keep my mind busy. The fact that my body belongs to science during what is supposed to be a very intimate time in my life has had me up in arms lately. It makes me feel isolated from the "real" world, and it's maddening. You're really not alone with IF consuming you. We are all desperate to be mothers, and when you want something THAT badly, it's all you can think about. And it sucks.

Very well stated, Josiecat. I'm right there with you. I have a love/hate relationship with the science aspect, too.

MrsC430

Josiecat:

The fact that my body belongs to science during what is supposed to be a very intimate time in my life has had me up in arms lately. It makes me feel isolated from the "real" world, and it's maddening.

This exactly! I often get sad about feeling like we were robbed of normalcy and what should have been a special chapter in our marriage.

Issa6601

I just started therapy to try to deal with some of the psychological effects of infertility. I don't know anyone who has ever gone through this who didn't think about it 24/7. Give yourself a break. Tell DH you are perfectly normal. 

solisilou

I think about it most of the time and I've learned to aknowledge these thoughts because fighting them just makes it worse. I really recommend seeing a therapist, it has helped me a great deal overcoming the anxiety and the feelings of guilt that come with IF. Reading a lot about it has also helped me. I really recommend the book from tert.ia albe.rtyn (so close). What I think I'm starting to overcome is not thinking about it all the time or the pain of not being a mother, but these horrible feelings of guilt and that already makes things a lot easier. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

thecuddleeffect

completely and utterly consumed with all things IF related. I think I spend like 57min of every hour thinking about somehting related to it.

I'm SO burnt out, but I won't give up!!

poohniki

Hi,

I probably fall into the severe consumption. I follow my RE on twitter, and their posts (usually of encouragement) on Pinterest. DH also says I need hobbies, and I do. My goal this summer is to find something, maybe photography, or something in gardening since we will be landscaping our yard.

I actually found a decent search engine through Psychology Today's magazine and just found an LCSW who specializes in infertility. I made my first appointment for this week. After the last IVF, well.. I'm only doing ok. Every time I drive pass a bus with an IVF advertisement I pretend to blow it up with my finger, then cry. I pass about 2 of those buses on my way to work. 

Hugs 

poohniki

MrsC430:

Josiecat:

The fact that my body belongs to science during what is supposed to be a very intimate time in my life has had me up in arms lately. It makes me feel isolated from the "real" world, and it's maddening.

This exactly! I often get sad about feeling like we were robbed of normalcy and what should have been a special chapter in our marriage.

Our main dx is MFI (azoospermia), which means we can't make a child intimately, but I was recently dx with an egg problem that only exists in the world of IVF, which means we can't make a child using science. Oddly, I am more disappointed science has let me down. When all else fails, you would think you could at least have the best medical treatment possible. Apparently my body will only work the old fashioned way, and that for me is most difficult, to be robbed of science.

Josiecat

poohniki:

Our main dx is MFI (azoospermia), which means we can't make a child intimately, but I was recently dx with an egg problem that only exists in the world of IVF, which means we can't make a child using science. Oddly, I am more disappointed science has let me down. When all else fails, you would think you could at least have the best medical treatment possible. Apparently my body will only work the old fashioned way, and that for me is most difficult, to be robbed of science.

 

I apologize. And I'm sincerely sorry that you're in such a sh*tty spot. This whole "let's make a baby" thing, it hasn't been very nice to any of us. People tell me what a miracle it is that science is available to help us out, and I keep saying "I'll think it's miracle when I'm holding a real live baby in my arms". 

LittleLady77

Totally consumed here. 

MrsC430

Josiecat:

I apologize. And I'm sincerely sorry that you're in such a sh*tty spot. This whole "let's make a baby" thing, it hasn't been very nice to any of us. People tell me what a miracle it is that science is available to help us out, and I keep saying "I'll think it's miracle when I'm holding a real live baby in my arms". 

Very true!

Peanutz21

Phew ok so I am going to consider myself normal

IF is so tough .... Never thought it would be this difficult. I'm thankful to have found this board for all the advice and support.

I may consider therapy/counseling soon with DH. I think it would only help.