What would you do?

TrampleTravel

My brother is getting married in about 10 months.  I'm wondering if my husband and I should take a month off from TTC because if we were to conceive next month the EDD would be 5 days before the wedding.  The wedding is about 2 hours away so pregnant or not I probably wouldn't be able to go.  I know it's probably for the best if we take a month off, but at the same time I hate to miss a month.

 What would you do? 

sueann911

No I wouldn't put TTC on hold. But I'm kinda confused why you wouldn't be able to travel 2 hours even if you were pregnant? 4 hours I could understand. But helll people here travel 1.5 hours to the hospital.

sunlavender

I wouldn't take a month off TTC for any reason.  That's just me, though.

TrampleTravel

Sorry, I didn't give allot of information.  I'll be a high risk pregnancy due to a congenital heart defect.  If I'm at 40 weeks I don't want to have to travel the 2 or so hours.

dragonfly711

I would keep trying. My sister is getting married in sept. I ended up getting pregnant in dec having an edd of September. She lives in Florida. She knew I would miss the wedding. Well I MC in feb. if not for work. I am a teacher. I can't get off her wedding is a Sunday and this is a new job. I would be going now.

You never know what might happen. Plus it might take you a long time to get pregnant. I would not wait.

TrampleTravel

Thanks everyone!  That makes me feel less guilty.  I haven't even mentioned to my husband yet about potentially skipping a month so my mouth will be kept shut!

mamathefox

I traveled 7 hours at 8.5 months. Its all up to you AND your Dr. I wouldn't stop BC I'm a Murphys Law kind of gal....my odds are that would be 'my' month LOL

my brother (only sibling) wedding is this month. I him and wouldn't want to miss it, so I would get why you would take a month off too..... 

gscoville

TrampleTravel:

My brother is getting married in about 10 months.  I'm wondering if my husband and I should take a month off from TTC because if we were to conceive next month the EDD would be 5 days before the wedding.  The wedding is about 2 hours away so pregnant or not I probably wouldn't be able to go.  I know it's probably for the best if we take a month off, but at the same time I hate to miss a month.

 What would you do? 

If you wouldn't go even if you're not pregnant, why are you worrying about TTC?  

mamathefox

TrampleTravel:

Sorry, I didn't give allot of information.  I'll be a high risk pregnancy due to a congenital heart defect.  If I'm at 40 weeks I don't want to have to travel the 2 or so hours.

Aaaaaand I didn't read this before posting. Sorry. I would NOT travel if in was you. 

TrampleTravel

No, I meant when I said "pregnant or not".  If I have a newborn then no, I would not be traveling 2 hours with that child and everyone in the world that I would trust to watch my newborn child will be at the wedding.  

 

Obviously I can't with certainly know what my EDD would be if I were to conceive next month.  That being said, I've learned the past 12 months while trying to avoid that my cycle is extremely regular (yes, I was nuts and used opk's, charted, and inconsistently took temps- as a full time doctoral student and working full time I had no time for a child, let alone my husband or myself).  So statistically speaking, yes, after looking at my charts and as a licensed healthcare provider I can say that a potential EDD could be then if next month's cycle is anything like the previous 12.

 

Thanks for your input though. By the way, you may want to edit your post.  I think you mean journey, not journal.

gscoville

TrampleTravel:

No, I meant when I said "pregnant or not".  If I have a newborn then no, I would not be traveling 2 hours with that child and everyone in the world that I would trust to watch my newborn child will be at the wedding.  

 

Obviously I can't with certainly know what my EDD would be if I were to conceive next month.  That being said, I've learned the past 12 months while trying to avoid that my cycle is extremely regular (yes, I was nuts and used opk's, charted, and inconsistently took temps- as a full time doctoral student and working full time I had no time for a child, let alone my husband or myself).  So statistically speaking, yes, after looking at my charts and as a licensed healthcare provider I can say that a potential EDD could be then if next month's cycle is anything like the previous 12.

 

Thanks for your input though. By the way, you may want to edit your post.  I think you mean journey, not journal.

There's a quote button right beside the reply button, you should use that so we know who you're being anal about spelling to. 

Milagros315

TrampleTravel:

No, I meant when I said "pregnant or not". nbsp;If I have a newborn then no, I would not be traveling 2 hours with that child and everyone in the world that I would trust to watch my newborn child will be at the wedding. nbsp;nbsp;Obviously I can't with certainly know what my EDD would be if I were to conceive next month. nbsp;That being said, I've learned the past 12 months while trying to avoid that my cycle is extremely regular yes, I was nuts and used opk's, charted, and inconsistently took temps as a full time doctoral student and working full time I had no time for a child, let alone my husband or myself. nbsp;So statistically speaking, yes, after looking at my charts and as a licensed healthcare provider I can say that a potential EDD could be then if next month's cycle is anything like the previous 12.nbsp;Thanks for your input though. By the way, you may want to edit your post. nbsp;I think you mean journey, not journal.

Dude. She was trying to explain that your OP was a little unclear.

Also, you can be 100 percent certain of your EDD but that doesn't mean you are 100 percent sure about when the baby will be born. Shiit happens. Babies come early and babies come late.

Personally, I wouldn't TTA because there is just too much that's out of my control anyway.

mrs_tacos

I have a cousin getting married across the country in February, and I'm a bridesmaid. Our moms are identical twins, so we're grew up very close, so I definitely want to be there, but if I get pregnant this cycle or next, I probably won't be able to go. I considered sitting out this cycle, but after discussing it with my DH, I decided against it. What if this is my cycle? I'd hate to miss out on that. Plus, I agree with the PP's, you can't stop living life based on a 20% possibility. 

CarolinaGirl83

My sister in law is getting married next April. I have NO intentions of skipping a month. I'm also a bridesmaid... wearing a short, strapless, Sunshine yellow dress. If I'm pregnant, I'll be the biggest, brightest sunshine I can be. Hopefully, I'll have a newborn. If that's the case, I'll be sure to have someone lined up to babysit. No one, except my DH, helps dictate my TTC plans!

gscoville

MeatandBandP:

I'll assume you are talking to me. The quote button helps when you are trying to call someone out. 

I'm bumping from my phone, so that's an autocorrect fail.  You still knew what I was saying though, right? However, your post is confusing and many people did not understand what you were saying. The way its written in your original post still doesn't make sense, IMO.

 

Big thumbs up to this. If you are high risk and wouldn't drive two hours while pregnant, but don't want to miss the wedding, doesn't that mean you should stop TTC for the next 9 or 10 months, not just the next month?  You're very unclear in your posts, OP, which is why we're all having trouble giving you the advice you're looking for. 

mrs_tacos

CarolinaGirl83:

I'm also a bridesmaid... wearing a short, strapless, Sunshine yellow dress. If I'm pregnant, I'll be the biggest, brightest sunshine I can be.

Haha! This is me! If I'm pregnant for my cousin's wedding in February, I'll look like a giant pomegranate, or maybe a big red balloon. I'll gladly take it. It's better than the wedding I was in this spring in Phoenix. I bloated from the heat so badly that I looked pregnant even though I'm not. Those pictures are going to be buried where no one can ever find them. 

CarolinaGirl83

amandarene112:

CarolinaGirl83:

I'm also a bridesmaid... wearing a short, strapless, Sunshine yellow dress. If I'm pregnant, I'll be the biggest, brightest sunshine I can be.

Haha! This is me! If I'm pregnant for my cousin's wedding in February, I'll look like a giant pomegranate, or maybe a big red balloon. I'll gladly take it. It's better than the wedding I was in this spring in Phoenix. I bloated from the heat so badly that I looked pregnant even though I'm not. Those pictures are going to be buried where no one can ever find them. 

We picked the dresses on Memorial Day Weekend, but we won't get measured until Nov. I'm scared to death about being pregnant not knowing how to order. I know the sales girls will help, but I'd hate to buy a 140 dress that won't fit.
Fingers crossed for both of us to be enormously pregnant bridesmaids!!

vpine

As someone who's been TTC since 2011, I would not take a break. I wouldn't care about missing a sibling's wedding while delivering my child. 

STBMrsMiller

If we were just starting to TTC, I would delay starting until a couple of months after the wedding. I have one brother and we are close. But, after a year, the only reason I would take time off is for financial reasons related to treatments.

bumpuser1282882

sunlavender:

I wouldn't take a month off TTC for any reason.  That's just me, though.

This. I've been trying for 10 months and don't have a take home baby yet. I don't want to put it off for anything, really.

mmb248

When I first started TTC, I probably would have taken a break, but now that I'm 21 months in, no.  Of course, my sister has been asking me to have a baby for 2 years now, so if I did end up pregnant with a due date right around the wedding, she would probably reschedule!

mamathefox

CarolinaGirl83:

amandarene112:

CarolinaGirl83:

I'm also a bridesmaid... wearing a short, strapless, Sunshine yellow dress. If I'm pregnant, I'll be the biggest, brightest sunshine I can be.

Haha! This is me! If I'm pregnant for my cousin's wedding in February, I'll look like a giant pomegranate, or maybe a big red balloon. I'll gladly take it. It's better than the wedding I was in this spring in Phoenix. I bloated from the heat so badly that I looked pregnant even though I'm not. Those pictures are going to be buried where no one can ever find them. 

We picked the dresses on Memorial Day Weekend, but we won't get measured until Nov. I'm scared to death about being pregnant not knowing how to order. I know the sales girls will help, but I'd hate to buy a 140 dress that won't fit. Fingers crossed for both of us to be enormously pregnant bridesmaids!!

I had to buy a bridesmaids dress at 8.5 months pregnant. I was too big to get it over my boobs! I bought one that would fit me pregnant-ish and would have it taken in., I'm glad I did it BC they are couture dresses and run small. I end eds up having to take some in but I'm so glad I went up a bunch of sizes. Better save than sorry!  

TeeJ526

mmb248:

When I first started TTC, I probably would have taken a break, but now that I'm 21 months in, no.nbsp; Of course, my sister has been asking me to have a baby for 2 years now, so if I did end up pregnant with a due date right around the wedding, she would probably reschedule!

Awww! That's love. I wouldn't take a break either. Like the others have said, there are no guarantees of timely conception and delivery. You might as well keep trying.

kramja01

I wouldn't take a month off, but that's just me--good luck with your decision!

crwel1048

I agree with pp, definitely would not stop TTC. Besides there's not guarantee it will happen anyway.

TrampleTravel

Milagros315:

TrampleTravel:

No, I meant when I said "pregnant or not". nbsp;If I have a newborn then no, I would not be traveling 2 hours with that child and everyone in the world that I would trust to watch my newborn child will be at the wedding. nbsp;nbsp;Obviously I can't with certainly know what my EDD would be if I were to conceive next month. nbsp;That being said, I've learned the past 12 months while trying to avoid that my cycle is extremely regular yes, I was nuts and used opk's, charted, and inconsistently took temps as a full time doctoral student and working full time I had no time for a child, let alone my husband or myself. nbsp;So statistically speaking, yes, after looking at my charts and as a licensed healthcare provider I can say that a potential EDD could be then if next month's cycle is anything like the previous 12.nbsp;Thanks for your input though. By the way, you may want to edit your post. nbsp;I think you mean journey, not journal.

Dude. She was trying to explain that your OP was a little unclear. Also, you can be 100 percent certain of your EDD but that doesn't mean you are 100 percent sure about when the baby will be born. Shiit happens. Babies come early and babies come late. Personally, I wouldn't TTA because there is just too much that's out of my control anyway.

 

Clearly an EDD isn't 100% accurate, after all, it is an *estimated* due date.  If I'm near my due date, or if I have a newborn child, I am not going to the wedding.  My question was a simple yes or no question, and I appreciate those who responded with their thoughts.  I've been lurking on this board for some time and I must say that for all of the helpfulness and support there is equal parts cattiness and bitchiness.  I'm not say that I got much of it, but in general it's kind of sad that our future generations will be raised by people like this.  Again, I'm not saying this was reflected in the thread I started, but as a overall culture of this message board I think many of the posters need to grow up and stop acting like mean girls in middle school.  

 

For those of you who will be first time mothers, and for some of you who are already mothers, it really is not the best idea to bring a newborn (medically defined as the first 4 weeks of life) around 200+ people, including children, due to the risk of infection.  Immunization series for many infectious diseases are not started until the 2 month infant visit.  And for those that don't think it's a big deal, well, if you bring your febrile newborn to my ER you may change your mind when the nurses have to draw blood and I get to perform a lumbar puncture on your child.

 

Milagros315

TrampleTravel:

 Clearly an EDD isn't 100% accurate, after all, it is an *estimated* due date.  If I'm near my due date, or if I have a newborn child, I am not going to the wedding.  My question was a simple yes or no question, and I appreciate those who responded with their thoughts.  I've been lurking on this board for some time and I must say that for all of the helpfulness and support there is equal parts cattiness and bitchiness.  I'm not say that I got much of it, but in general it's kind of sad that our future generations will be raised by people like this.  Again, I'm not saying this was reflected in the thread I started, but as a overall culture of this message board I think many of the posters need to grow up and stop acting like mean girls in middle school.  

For those of you who will be first time mothers, and for some of you who are already mothers, it really is not the best idea to bring a newborn (medically defined as the first 4 weeks of life) around 200+ people, including children, due to the risk of infection.  Immunization series for many infectious diseases are not started until the 2 month infant visit.  And for those that don't think it's a big deal, well, if you bring your febrile newborn to my ER you may change your mind when the nurses have to draw blood and I get to perform a lumbar puncture on your child. 

People asked/suggested that you edit your OP because it was confusing and you left out some important information. We were only trying to help. Not sure why you have such an attitude about it.

You might not get a simple yes or no answer because I don't think it's a simple yes or no question. As you "clearly" know, an EDD is just an estimate. Like PP said, if you really want to be sure you're not pregnant or caring for a newborn at the time of your brother's wedding you should probably try to avoid for more than 1 cycle. Only you can decide how important it is for you to be 100% sure you're able to go to your brother's wedding.

ChicagoWeded2007

It doesn't hurt to skip a month now and then. It's nice to have a break anyway. I did put off TTC#2 by a couple months so I could go to my brother's wedding.

jaytee16

MeatandBandP:

Seriously? The only person who was bitcchy or catty in this thread was you. You should have said in your original post if you were near your due date or had a newborn child you would not attend, instead you said pregnant or not you would not attend. It was confusing. I suggested you edit your OP to clear up the confusion that was going on. I was trying to be helpful.

You came in here with guns blazing, with a pretty bad attitude. If you don't like the tone of the board you can leave. But FWIW in the two threads you are started, and the only ones you have participated in, everyone has been super nice and welcoming to you. 

And to answer you're "simple yes or no question": No. 

TrampleTravel

MeatandBandP:

TrampleTravel:

Milagros315:

TrampleTravel:

No, I meant when I said "pregnant or not". nbsp;If I have a newborn then no, I would not be traveling 2 hours with that child and everyone in the world that I would trust to watch my newborn child will be at the wedding. nbsp;nbsp;Obviously I can't with certainly know what my EDD would be if I were to conceive next month. nbsp;That being said, I've learned the past 12 months while trying to avoid that my cycle is extremely regular yes, I was nuts and used opk's, charted, and inconsistently took temps as a full time doctoral student and working full time I had no time for a child, let alone my husband or myself. nbsp;So statistically speaking, yes, after looking at my charts and as a licensed healthcare provider I can say that a potential EDD could be then if next month's cycle is anything like the previous 12.nbsp;Thanks for your input though. By the way, you may want to edit your post. nbsp;I think you mean journey, not journal.

Dude. She was trying to explain that your OP was a little unclear. Also, you can be 100 percent certain of your EDD but that doesn't mean you are 100 percent sure about when the baby will be born. Shiit happens. Babies come early and babies come late. Personally, I wouldn't TTA because there is just too much that's out of my control anyway.

 

Clearly an EDD isn't 100% accurate, after all, it is an *estimated* due date.  If I'm near my due date, or if I have a newborn child, I am not going to the wedding.  My question was a simple yes or no question, and I appreciate those who responded with their thoughts.  I've been lurking on this board for some time and I must say that for all of the helpfulness and support there is equal parts cattiness and bitchiness.  I'm not say that I got much of it, but in general it's kind of sad that our future generations will be raised by people like this.  Again, I'm not saying this was reflected in the thread I started, but as a overall culture of this message board I think many of the posters need to grow up and stop acting like mean girls in middle school.  

 

For those of you who will be first time mothers, and for some of you who are already mothers, it really is not the best idea to bring a newborn (medically defined as the first 4 weeks of life) around 200+ people, including children, due to the risk of infection.  Immunization series for many infectious diseases are not started until the 2 month infant visit.  And for those that don't think it's a big deal, well, if you bring your febrile newborn to my ER you may change your mind when the nurses have to draw blood and I get to perform a lumbar puncture on your child.

 

Seriously? The only person who was bitcchy or catty in this thread was you. You should have said in your original post if you were near your due date or had a newborn child you would not attend, instead you said pregnant or not you would not attend. It was confusing. I suggested you edit your OP to clear up the confusion that was going on. I was trying to be helpful.

You came in here with guns blazing, with a pretty bad attitude. If you don't like the tone of the board you can leave. But FWIW in the two threads you are started, and the only ones you have participated in, everyone has been super nice and welcoming to you. 

 

As I previously said, I never said I got much of it but I was commenting on the overall culture of the board.

 

And enough of this, I'm off to more important things.  

zg49

I can see why you'd want to take the month off but I wouldn't do it. Like pp, there is still a chance you won't get pregnant this cycle but if you do then great! It'll work out either way so I'd say keep trying and worry about it after it happens.