Should I tell my boss that we are ttc?

Ayana11doctor

My DH is very excited that we've taken this step to TTC. This is our first cycle really trying. He's already told his boss...I on the other hand am a little bit too nervous to tell anyone. I've made him promise to not tell our parents or anyone else. But I was just wondering if I should let my boss know. I'm 25 and my DH is 31 and both relatively healthy but who knows how long it will take us to concieve... I work in sales and we only have a few team members and my boss depends heavily on the work that I do...I'm not sure how he would react if he knew that I was ttc. Should I tell him? Is it any of his business? I've only been with this company for a year. While my DH and I make decent money I don't want him to treat me any differently or take my hours away once I do get preggers. When is the right time to tell?

NewMom92

IMHO I would not tell your boss you are ttc. You don't know how long its going to take to get pregnant and that puts a lot of pressure on you. I would wait to tell your boss until after you get pregnant and get through most of the first trimester. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

DLpanda08

Personally, I think you should wait to tell him until after you get pregnant. You have no idea how long it might take you to conceive and it sounds like you would be opening a can of worms at the office. 

Also, it's none of your boss' business. You would basically be telling him "I plan to have a lot of unprotected sex with my husband, just wanted you to know!"

Only you can determine when the right time to tell people might be. 

candrew05

Personally, I like to keep my personal life private from my boss.

There will be plenty of time after you get pregnant to tell your boss and there will be many months for them to find coverage for you lol.

GL!

TeeJ526

bandteacher:

I don't think it's your boss's business at all. Tell him when you're 12 weeks pregnant, or later if you want.

Agreed. You don't need the added pressure. And if you're not going to tell your parents yet, why tell your boss? 

HenHen25

No way. 

wheeee780

No. You do not have an obligation to tell him, or anyone else, that your are TTC. 

It is illegal to discriminate against an employee based on her pregnancy. 

FWIW, I would not (and have not) told anyone at work that I am TTC because it is none of their business.  If I get pregnant, I will wait to tell my work until some time in my second trimester (hopefully later than earlier, but YMMV).

tucker1384

I wouldn't say a thing... wait until you are at least pregnant and even then I'd wait awhile. You may be pregnant now or in a year (let's hope it won't take that long).

sister13

No matter how close or how much I trusted my employer/boss, there is no way I would reveal this information before I was already pregnant. Besides them possibly asking awkwardly, it could affect the possibility of getting assignments, promotions, etc. While it may be assumed as a possibility for someone of childbearing age, no way I would discuss this at work.

crwel1048

bandteacher:

I don't think it's your boss's business at all. Tell him when you're 12 weeks pregnant, or later if you want.

I completely agree with all of this. 

eortman

I don't see any reason to tell your boss that you are ttc.  The only way I would tell my boss is if I worked with chemicals or other hazardous conditions that could affect the pregnancy.

Twinkie0612

I wouldn't tell your boss, it is none of his business if you are TTC.  Also telling your boss that you are TTC is kind of like telling your boss that you are going to have lots of unprotected sex, which seems like a weird thing to say to your boss.

 I did end up telling my boss when we started IF testing/treatment only because it required time off of work and he kept saying that he hoped everything was alright when I would tell him that I had doctor's appointments.  I do not tell him any details about our treatment.

kramja01

No way--my boss is a 67 year old man and I cannot IMAGINE how awkward that conversation would be, lol!

Spookster

No, tell your boss when you are pregnant. 

StacyJYay

Because it can take a while to get pregnant, I wouldn't tell your boss.  You're certainly not under ANY legal, ethical, or moral obligation to do so, either.  I'd wait until you're at least 12 weeks into the pregnancy (or perhaps until after the "anatomy scan" that is done between 18-20 weeks.  Best of luck to you in your TTC journey! 

Birdies08

DLpanda08:

Personally, I think you should wait to tell him until after you get pregnant. You have no idea how long it might take you to conceive and it sounds like you would be opening a can of worms at the office. 

Also, it's none of your boss' business. You would basically be telling him "I plan to have a lot of unprotected sex with my husband, just wanted you to know!"

Only you can determine when the right time to tell people might be. 

This was my first thought. 

OP- obviously you know your situation and your relationship with your boss better than anyone here. You are not obligated to tell your boss and, personally, I wouldn't. Last time I didn't say anything until I was at the end of my first trimester and that's the plan again this time around.

mrskelly731

I ultimately agree with PP about, no I would not tell my boss, but it also depends on the relationship you have with your boss and how comfortable you feel with them.  My last job the owner and his wife were like 2nd parents to me.  My parents live about 3 hours away and I had a really good relationship with my employers.  I talked to them about everything, just because that's how comfortable I was with them.  When DH and I went to buy our house we asked them to come and see what they thought, because we trusted and valued their opinion.  They knew I planned on TTC as soon as we were married and they were absolutely supportive and said 'well, that is the next step' 

huskymomma94

NO.

Palmtrees09

I agree with pps and say you shouldn't tell your boss.

I told my "bosses". I'm a nanny so I wanted them to know. My DH and I have a really great relationship with them, and we wanted their prayers.

I'm glad they know especially now since I might have to take time off for a procedure. They have a very unique story of there own and I know that they will be very sympathetic towards my current situation. Also, we really appreciate their prayers!

WillCMyInk

I didn't go through and read all the responses buti agree with the consensus of, "Not your bosses business until you're actually pregnant".

Also, from an HR perspective, it is a lot easier to get rid of a person who isn't pregnant yet than someone who has made the announcement.

bumpuser9058414

I agree with PP who said wait until you are actually pregnant to tell him. I'm also not an expert but I don't believe he can discriminate against you because you are pregnant. Good luck. 

annabenanna

It was kind of the opposite for me.  My boss told me to start TTC.  Ha, not really...but kind of.

For my first year review she asked me how old I was, etc, and then told me about her own TTC journey.  She started too late, did IUI, IVF without success.  She told me she wishes she had frozen her eggs, etc.  

She is a mom now, but it was super complicated.  She took a donor's egg cell from Slovenia, her boyfriend's sperm and they in-vitroed the fertilized egg into a lady from India.  Phew.  

Anyway, she told me to start thinking about TTC soon because time is of the essence.  

I guess I didn't answer OP's question.

OP, if you don't have that close of a relationship with your boss, you don't have to tell him.  

ky29

My boss didn't know until I started seeing the RE.  Since I'm his assistant, I thought I should be honest with why I had all these doctor appointments and missing work.  He was also one of the first to know I was pregnant.  I didn't want him to find out by seeing me throw up in my trash can..

Rejufsovelem

yeah, no, you don't have to say anything.  I didn't say a word until I was 14 weeks.

GermanGirl2007

No way in hell would this even be a consideration.  Even now with IF, I have just said that I have some medical issues that require fairly frequent Dr. appointments. 

marybeth05

Hell to the no...Don't tell your boss.

Good luck TTC! 

vadarling

I don't think there's any point in telling your boss right now. You have no obligation to divulge your TTC plans at this point.

IMO, you should tell your boss once you've gotten pregnant - maybe around the 12-week mark.

mrstengallonhat1

I wouldn't tell my boss until after 12 weeks, at the earliest.

mmb248

It would completely depend on my relationship with the person.

I have 3 supervisors.  My "official" boss knows that we're trying, but only because last fall he asked how DH was and I said great, and we were both very excited.  I was about to finish with "because we just ordered a new couch" when my boss jumped in with, "because you're pregnant?  It would be so cool if you were pregnant!"  He looked so upset when I said no, but hopefully soon.  We had a really great convo about it and discussed the possibility of working from home when I finally do have a baby.

The other 2 supervisors have no clue we're TTC.