"Taking the easy way out..."

jutimala

I know that some women say they have heard this before but I haven't, until yesterday. Most of the time, I am trying to convince people that I trust my doctors and while it is major surgery, more times than not, everything goes smoothly and I will be fine. This time, I find myself trying to defend how me laying on a table having my stomach cut wide open multiple times (for multiple children) and then going through the recovery, with children, is in no way the easy way out. 

No, I don't prefer a vaginal, I am just fine with my c-section but that doesn't mean that it will be easy. I have 2 other children at home to take care of, while still trying to recover. People can be so rude, usually I would have said something somewhat inappropriate but she's my step mother so... ya know!

Just needed to vent. 

EmR22

I hear that! Why people think it's the easy way out is beyond me. It is far from easy and how dare people judge us for it. Whether you elect to have one or it is medically necessary it amazes me that people think they can judge and comment on the choices you make for your body. 

Every person, situation is different but I feel like I always have to defend myself. Perhaps get a dart set and throw them at her pic.....or every time you see her mentally visualize slapping the crap out of her! 

+ASH+

People who think that way have never had it done. These people are also probably the ones who made up that stupid "Too posh to push" comment. 

alizabethanne

+ASH+:

People who think that way have never had it done. These people are also probably the ones who made up that stupid "Too posh to push" comment. 

This.

I hate "the easy way out" comment. Everyone who has said to me either never had to have a CS or they don't have kids. 

chicagobride_07

I had no choice to have a c section due to my vasa previa.  I had surgery last Monday, and the two days following we're horrific.  Just today I was able to do errands and I was very tired and sore.  My stomach is swollen and who knows when I'll get it back.

This is definitely not the easy way out for me.  My baby is in the NICU and I am waddling through to see her, holding my belly.  The ladies with vaginal births are sailing through,  on some of them you can't even tell that they gave birth just days ago. 

Mama-Bear

I've had 1 vaginal and 2 c/s deliveries.  My vaginal delivery was definitely "the easy way out" in comparison.  Sure you don't have contractions and don't have to push, but you're getting sliced open through multiple layers and have a much longer recovery (assuming both are standard deliveries with no complications).  Even a tear/cut from a vaginal delivery (as long as it's not 4th degree) is just flesh being cut, not muscle.

MAprincess

Yeah, c/s's are not the easy way out.  One of the main reasons why I chose a VBAC for my second birth is because it was going to be easier (and it was).  Especially the recovery.  I can't imagine taking care of other toddlers at home after a c/s- NOT easy!

DonnaMartinGraduates

I've never heard anyone say that to me but they definitely deserve a throat punch! People like that don't get it and they never will.

kennazebrowsky

I just tell people that the Dr and I decided that a c-section was the safest route to go in our situation. I do not go on and on about it and try to not discuss it with people at all, frankly it is none of their business and I do not care what they even think.

 

 

Zimger

Yeah, I had that kind of comment once. I reminded them that if I had not had a c-section my son would probably not be here. So they could kindly shove off.

Schell2013

This comment bugs me big time. Not many people choose a c section. They are usually done because they are medically needed or to get a baby out safety. I always wanted a vagunal birth to be honest but those weren't the cards I got delt to me and a month later I still hurt so I don't think it's easier by any means.

Mom38673

Stop trying to convince others of your decision.  You did what was right for you and your baby.  End of story.  People who make statements of it being an easy route have never had a section.  That would be part of my response to them.... "Well, have or did you have one?"  They will probably say no.  I would inform them because of my decision, I have a healthy child.   Refuse to discuss it further, because there is no need. 

mysticl

I planned to have a vaginal birth.  I had a friend (who cannot have children) ask me if I was planning to take the easy way out.  I asked what she meant (I really thought she meant epidural) and she asked if I was having a c-section.  I explained that it is not the easy way because there is ultimately more pain and the recovery time is longer.  She seemed shocked by this.  I did end up having a c-section due to failure to progress after a medical induction and there was nothing "easy" about it.

Caitlin224

nola78:

Hm.  I don't think there is any "easy" way for a baby to come out, regardless of whether it is vaginal or c-section.  Anyone who thinks that is a moron.  And thinking that major surgery is the easier option makes them a double moron.  

100% this. 

VPGIRL06

If anyone ever utters those words to me, I will throat punch them. The first time a csection was brought up to me, I was 41 weeks. The ultrasound revealed a 9lb 8 oz baby; I'm 5'2, small framed normally 120 prepregnancy.  My induction date was scheduled for 3 days later, and the doctor told me to study up on macromasia, and the complications regarding small pelvis's and bigger babies (i.e. breaking their shoulders)

I CRIED the entire way home and all night. I DID NOT want a csection, but I also didn't want to knowingly put my baby in harms way and cause her to have her poor shoulders broken because I didn't want to deal with the long recovery.  I was SUCH a wreck, and my husband and I decided that if I didn't go into labor on my own, than we would tell the doctor to do a csection. My fear was her getting stuck (she was still in -2 position) and then it would be too late.

 I went into labor on my own the day before. I was so excited, especially because I thought that meant she would come out on her own. NOT.  26 hours later, I'm 9.5 cm dilated, need to push, epidural wore off....and she is barely hitting 0 station when I do push. just the top of her head. for hours! finally the doctor called it, and I was sent to the OR. I cried some more when I found out I needed the csection and cried afterwards.

My daughters safety came before anything else. My pelvis was too small to support her, especially since her head measured in the 95th percentile since birth and she was almost 9 lbs. If it wasn't for modern medicine we probably both would have died.

monrunner89

VPGIRL06:

If anyone ever utters those words to me, I will throat punch them. The first time a csection was brought up to me, I was 41 weeks. The ultrasound revealed a 9lb 8 oz baby; I'm 5'2, small framed normally 120 prepregnancy.  My induction date was scheduled for 3 days later, and the doctor told me to study up on macromasia, and the complications regarding small pelvis's and bigger babies (i.e. breaking their shoulders)

I CRIED the entire way home and all night. I DID NOT want a csection, but I also didn't want to knowingly put my baby in harms way and cause her to have her poor shoulders broken because I didn't want to deal with the long recovery.  I was SUCH a wreck, and my husband and I decided that if I didn't go into labor on my own, than we would tell the doctor to do a csection. My fear was her getting stuck (she was still in -2 position) and then it would be too late.

 I went into labor on my own the day before. I was so excited, especially because I thought that meant she would come out on her own. NOT.  26 hours later, I'm 9.5 cm dilated, need to push, epidural wore off....and she is barely hitting 0 station when I do push. just the top of her head. for hours! finally the doctor called it, and I was sent to the OR. I cried some more when I found out I needed the csection and cried afterwards.

My daughters safety came before anything else. My pelvis was too small to support her, especially since her head measured in the 95th percentile since birth and she was almost 9 lbs. If it wasn't for modern medicine we probably both would have died.

I had a very similar experience. 5'4", small build, same prepreg weight. Just not enough room. I went through the whole process of labor (even unwantedly natural for a while) for him to get stuck. His head was in the 90th percentile and just would not budge, his heart rate was dropping, my BP was skyrocketing. I wanted him to be safe and healthy though, and will never regret my decision. The only thing that ate at me was that I had a family member tell me about a week before I went into labor, that she did not think I would be able to do it (birth a baby vaginally) because of my size. I swear if she EVER says "I told you so" she will earn herself the death glare of all death glares... lucky for her she is family or she would have worse coming to her, even if only in my mind  

MamaGrillo

I posted on my birth month board a couple of weeks ago about a girl at work who told me :mother of three c/s babies:, that I was 'not even a real mom' because I didn't deliver vaginally.

It upsets me, and she has said it again since then, because someone else said that she was also having a RCS.

This thinking speaks of an ignorance that is not worthy of any of one's time. Although, the hormones made me say 'just shut up', which I normally wouldn't.

My first was not my choice. I was disappointed that my dr would not ok a vbac. By the third, I was over it. This is just how I have babies. Pushing a baby out does not make you a mother, any more than sperm 'donation' makes someone a father.

My 4th will be another RCS, and this baby will be loved by a mom as real as any birthed by body or by heart.