I am seriously making googly eye rolly eyes reading this. I have never heard of this periodical so can anyone verify that they are not a superbiased left wing rag making up crap? It was in my newsfeed today.
ETA:
Free Wood Post is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within FreeWoodPost.com are fiction, and presumably fake news.
Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.
FreeWoodPost.com is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience.
HOUSTON ? It seems new National Rifle Association President (NRA) president Jim Porter may have found himself in a bit of hot water. Not long ago he made his feelings about the Civil War known when he referred to it as the ?War of Northern Aggression.? In that same speech he referred to President Obama as a ?fake president? and Attorney General Eric Holder as ?rabidly un-American.? However none of those remarks that anyone could deem as racist compare to his remarks made at a recent press conference discussing his new leadership role at the NRA.
?I?m very proud to be taking the lead here at the NRA. We need to really buckle down and strap on our best arguments to defend what is our God-given rights. No more northern folk tryin? take away what is rightfully ours. I will not stand by and let some liberal-elitists try to ruin what has made this country great, especially a liberal of, you know, a different breed.?
When asked to clarify Porter said,
?I don?t have to clarify. You know gall darn well what I mean. In fact, it?s only a matter of time before we can own colored people again. They sure as hell won?t be our leaders. It?s out-right embarrassing. The War of Northern Aggression made it all possible, and you be best to know it?s all gonna change back. I?ll be on the front lines making sure it happens. I don?t want my grandkids growing up taking orders from a colored man. It?s our God-given right to keep them as property and keep them in line.?
Several at the NRA, including vice president Wayne LaPierre, have since tried to distance themselves from Porter?s remarks. LaPierre said, ?They brought him in over me to try and liven things up, calling me boring and rehearsed. Next time they?d be better off just making me president.?
It?s still unknown if the NRA and Porter will write an apology and retraction to his comments. Free Wood Post will keep you up to date as this story unfolds.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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Re: Editted to note Satire: ?It?s Only A Matter Of Time Before We Can Own Colored People Again? (npr)
Ah, that makes sense.
Yay, my first thought was "Onion". Although it wasn't funny enough to actually be TheOnion.
Mostly I didn't hear anything about LaPierre stepping down or being replaced on NPR.
Thank you. This one dude posted it on fb like it was the real deal, and he got responses like it too, so I am glad I am not the only idiot who thought it was real. And lets face it, I think many of us would not be surprised in the least.
I c&ped the disclaimer on fb too.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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