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Multiples
Anyone else not able to breast feed?
The plan was always to breast feed and reading so many positive experiences on this board over the last 9 months made me so confident that breast feeding twins can be done. Well my babies are almost 3 weeks old now, and its just not happening for me. After an almost 2 week stay in the NICU, only one of my babies latched, so the plan was to move to EPing. Well I've pumped 10-12 times a day for the last 3 weeks, just like the LC told me to, and I'm still pumping a total of maybe 2 ounces per session...if that. My boys are on a ratio of about 60% formula and 40% breast milk. I keep tell myself that its been than nothing, but I'm struggling emotionally with the fact that I'm not successful in breast feed or pumping. Anyone else have to formula feed and struggle with feelings of guilt about it?
Me: 29 DH: 30
TTC # 1 since 2008, in denial of needing an RE until 2012
DX with severe MFI, straight to IVF
IVF #1 August 2012- stims 8/18, ER 8/28- 18R, 11M, 10F. 9/3 ET cancelled due to chronic OHSS. 6 awesome embies on ice! 9/27 FET Beta #1: 427-BFP!!! Beta #2: 856
First u/s 10/15: two sacs!! Ahh, twins!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Anyone else not able to breast feed?
Hi there, I'm so sorry you're struggling! I was an EPer for my twins and I have to say even at the beginning I didn't pump 10-12 times! Every 3 hours is what I did. It was still tough but maybe with only 2 hours in between sessions you're not giving yourself a chance to produce. Also, make sure you're eating and drinking gallons of water! That's the first thing that will help you produce more.
Are you still trying to get them to latch? I'd also recommend that as well. Before they get really hungry try to get them to latch and hopefully they'll catch on. I'm a part of an EP facebook group and there are women there that even after 4 months end up getting their babies to latch.
Last thing - 40% is amazing and you're doing a great job! It will get easier over time but you doing whatever is best for you and your babies will be amazing.
I did with my first - I has similar issues with low supply - my milk never really came in even after doing the whole nurse/pump/supplement every 3 hours for a week. I never got more than a few ml with the pump. With the twins, I only nursed them for a few days before deciding I wasn't putting myself through that hell again.
I'd recommend checking out The Fearless Formula Feeder. She has a blog and a Facebook page that are both really great. It's not anti-breastfeeding at all, just a place to find support from other moms who couldn't breastfeed or chose not to. Also, this article that saved my life when I was in the trenches with DS 1:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/307311/ (The title is a bit inflammatory but the article is really excellent)
You must be so so exhausted but you should be proud of making it this far with breastfeeding, especially with supply challenges, NICU, etc. I hope that you find a way to move past the guilt, and enjoy feeding your babies in whatever way/combination that works for you!
TTC #2 since July 2010
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS! Boy/Girl Twins delivered at 36 weeks 6 days
July 2011: Clomid 50mg- No ovulation
Sept 2011: Clomid 100mg- No ovulation
Nov 2011: Clomid 150mg- No ovulation
Jan-Feb 2012: 150mg Clomid and 5 mg Femara w/ Orvidrel Shot- Ovulation!!
Feb 2012: IUI #1- BFP
Beta #1: 206
Beta #2: 2496
Feb 16: TWINS!!!
June 13: Found out genders... Boy/Girl (Team Green)
[IMG]http://i41.tinypic.com/acc1h5.jpg[/IMG]
all of this! Try the every 3 hours, I think that'll make a big difference. Also, not sure if you're into supplements but fenugreek is supposed to increase supply. I took it and can't say if it worked or didn't but I was able to EP for 4 months so it certainly didn't hurt. And water, water, water!! Good luck!!
I'm sorry you're struggling, bfing and pumping for 2 is really hard work. If I could offer some advice, I'd say you are pumping too often. I think it would be fine to back down to 8 times a day now. That was my daily goal when I pumped. When you look at your daily amount of pumped BM, you are actually doing just fine considering you are only 3 weeks pp. Are you waking up during the night just to pump? If babies allow, try to sleep longer stretches. Getting rest can help your milk supply. It also takes at least 6 weeks for you to really establish your milk supply. So I would really really encourage you to try to make it until then. Also pumping sucks. Many times the pump is not as effective as nursing.
Have you tried a nipple shield with them? This was really the only thing that allowed me to nurse in the beginning and we used nipple shields for a couple months. And if you decide it's not working for you, please don't feel like a failure. Every ounce of BM you've given them is important.
ETA: Personally I despised pumping because I had to do it exclusively for the first couple months. It works for some people and is definitely an alternative to bfing, but it just wasn't for me! Didn't want to sound so negative about it. I still ended up pumping 1-2 times a day and bfing the rest.
Peanut Butter and Jelly!
<a href="http://s568.photobucket.com/albums/ss122/AliceNP/?action=view
I never tried...I saw my other friends struggling and it just didn't make sense to put myself through that. I was formula fed and am healthy, smart and crazy attached to my mama!
Ditch the guilt and feed your babies however you feel best. If you want to stick with the 'better than none' train of thought than keep doing it. If your ready to throw in the towel go for it. But DO NOT waste the precious time you have feeling guilty about it!...its just not worth it!
I was in a similar situation. but I was lucky that with DD I never got any milk, I tried to pump and one time got 1 ml that smelled like onions and armpits so I didn't give it to her.
So when the boys were born I knew I wanted to try again but the pressure was off since DD is a thriving six year old who survived formula. I started pumping a bit after my c-sec. i think the first few times I got enough to moisten one end of a q tip. they would rub it on their gums in the NICU. they would take turns with who got each q tip. I know they did it just to make me feel better. By the end of my hospital stay I had about 1 ml per session. It was very exciting. I would call all in a tizzy for the LC to come get it and rush it to the NICU (I should mention this hospital had good LC's, my first birth was in a different one and they sucked. she said maybe if I brushed my teeth my kid would latch. Moments before she walked in I had cried about trying to brush my teeth in one of the puking trays near my bed because I couldn't get up).
During their NICU time we worked on latching. One baby would latch but eat really slow, and with my low supply I had to bottle feed afterwords. The other wouldn't latch. So BF, feeding and pumping turned into an 1hr and 1/2 of time.
I ended up pumping for 10 months. The MOST they got was 2 oz per bottle with 6 oz of formula (14 oz was my most per day). That was all with a rented hospital pump ($75 a month, so yes the oz I pumped were liquid gold). At 10 months I started sliding down and was getting an oz a day. I had really wanted to make it a year but wasn't going to pay that much to just make a date. I feel like my body made that choice for me.
So yeah, I was in a similar bind. I've done it both ways-switch to formula or drag it out and supplement. If my boys weren't preemies I may not have pumped so long. But either way, all 3 kids are healthy and happy and they'll never know who got one in their bottle. Try to let go of the guilt and do whatever will make your life easiest.
My BFing issue is that my girls get fussy by the slow flow when nursing and often pull away and scream when my initial letdown is gone. My LC wants me to use the SNS to address this but it's just so clumsy and messy. I need someone to help me with it and it's just not practical with two babies to take care of! I'm so frustrated and disappointed.
Sorry, I am no help to you, I just wanted you to know you're not alone.
i was actually talking about this with a co-worker the other day. i too planned on breastfeeding my twins, and when the time came, i just did not produce enough milk. i remember sitting in the dark listening to that damn pump and just watching drop after drop and barely being able to eek out an ounce. of course it didn't help that when dh and i went to the nicu to see our babies we would see one mother in particular with several bags of milk...we called her moo-cow b/c of how much milk she could produce. and it didn't help that the lactation nurse basically yelled at me everyday for not producing enough "they're your babies, and you're their mother! you need to try harder!"
anyway, i digress....yes, i felt guilty for not being to produce, and to this day i still do. i sometimes feel as if i should have tried harder, pumped more, or kept at it longer. my twins were basically exclusively formula fed b/c i couldn't produce, and when i gave up all together, it was such a relief that i seriously enjoyed motherhood more. in the end, yes, i do feel guilty b/c we know that bfing is best, and we always want to provide what is best. but you have to do what is best for you too.
good luck.
I also planned to EBF and my 36 weekers did not latch. At 24 hours old, the LC said that they had to have a bottle. I wish someone would have given me the supplemental nursing system. I really think the bottles made it 100x harder for us. I pumped every 2-3 hours and also didn't get much. I maxed out at 20 oz/day. DS learned to latch when he was 10 wks old and DD at 14 wks old! When DS latched, my supply increased a little, but I could never make more than 20 oz/day. I thought about quitting a million times. But, I knew that this was probably my only chance to ever breastfeed, so I kept going. They were getting mostly formula from 2-3 months on, but still got 5-10 oz of BM daily (each) until about month 10-11. DS lost interest in latching around 11 months, but DD still nurses 1-2 times (wake up and bedtime) a day. I don't think she's getting much, but she insists on it and I think it is very comforting to her. They got their first round of antibiotics at 10 months and I really felt like is was from getting less BM.
You have to do what you are comfortable with and try to not go crazy! I ended up feeling like some breast milk was better than none.
Have you been taking Fenugreek? There is a rx drug, Reglan, that you can take for 3 weeks to increase supply. I didn't do Reglan, but I took Fenugreek and Mother's Milk supplements and did try lactation cookies (thought those helped a little). I also seriously considered ordering domperidone from Canada, but didn't do that either.
Good luck!
Wedding Fall 2007 Off OCP's since 9/08-started with BBT charts Saw Ob/gyn May 2009 Blood work normal except single copy of MTHFR Clomid 50mg May 2009 Clomid 50mg + IUI June 2009 Femara 5mg + IUI July 2009 Normal HSG July 2009 Femara 5mg + ovidrel+IUI August 2009 Femara 5mg +ovidrel + IUI September 2009 November 2009-normal lap December 2009-met with RE December/January-Injectible med cycle with IUI-Abnormal sperm morpology found-only 0-1% normal All Head defects. Jan/Feb 2010 1st IVF with ICSI-5 week chemical pregnancy
Feb 2010-male infertility doc says DH's anatomy and blood work are normal so nothing he can do. 
FET July 2010-BFP! Twin m/c @ 5.5 wks 
Dec/Jan 2011 IVF #2 Only 4 eggs retrieved-Ganirelix dose messed up BFFN
Feb/March 2011 IVF #3 ER 3/9 9 eggs, 7 fertilized, ET 3/14, No frosties. BFN
IVF #4 ER 8/22 9R,7F ET 8/25-3 embies, 1 frostie! Beta 9/2= 54, 9/6=274, 9/8=625, 9/12=2953, 9/16 greater than 10,000. B/G TWINS born April 2012 @ 36wks & 1 day!
July 2014-going back for the frozen embryo! ET 7/28, heartbeat seen at 6wks1day with SCH. Miscarriage confirmed at 6wks4days
I wasn't successful with breastfeeding and I struggled a lot with it. My girls spent 9 days in the NICU and the nurses all called breastmilk "liquid gold". There was such emphasis put on it and they provided me with a pump to take home and a pump in their NICU room for me to use while I was there. I met with an LC every day and the nurses all tried to help me but I just wasn't getting anything. Like you, I was pumping 8-10 times a day and was trying every pumping method out there - power pumps where I pumped 4 times an hour, pumping for 20-40 minutes each time, all kinds of stuff. All of that was on top of trying to get them to nurse, but they never latched well. I tried every supplement that they could think of, drank teas, drank water like it was going out of style, and ordered domperidone from overseas. None of it helped. The most I ever got in one day was about 6 weeks in and was 18 ounces and it went down steadily from there. I stopped at 12 weeks and was only getting 7 ounces a day.
I tried so, so hard because I felt like I failed since I couldn't carry the girls to term and then felt so helpless when they were in the NICU that I had to do something, and pumping was it. If I could go back in time I would slap myself and tell myself that 36 weeks is not bad at all and I have two healthy babies who just need a little monitoring and to chill out. Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, but it was not worth the anxiety and stress that it caused me. The frustration and tears and cost (between LC appointments after the hospital, supplements, pump rental, and everything else we easily spent over $1k in 12 weeks on breastfeeding) far outweighed the benefits the girls got over the meager amount of BM they each got.
My only regret from my maternity leave is that I spent it attached to a pump instead of cuddling with my kids. After each feeding session I would put one baby down and pump while my H got to cuddle and take a nap with the other baby. I never got that. Again, breastfeeding can be a wonderful thing for both mom and child, but if you hate it and feel like it's more of a pain then a benefit don't hesitate to put the pump down and say enough. You've given your babies a good start with the BM they've had and that's wonderful. Formula is not evil and is nothing to feel guilty about. If you want to continue BFing I strongly recommend getting support from an LC or a member of the La Leche League. Even if you're EP, they can help with suggestions for getting your supply up and how to eventually get down to less pumps (and work on latches if you want to nurse).
Good luck and you're doing great!
I can't tell you all how much these comment mean to me. I feel better just knowing I'm not alone. I appreciate all the feedback, advice, and reassurance that it doesn't make me any less of a mother if I have to formula feed.