Youngest SD's BM

Pamelacake

It's always something and I'm not complaining by any means that she will not be picking them up. But, I know she is lying as she gets a $500. check at the beginning of every month.

BM called yesterday and left a voicemail stating she can't pick up SD's until Saturday morning because her cousin has to give her gas money and right after that says that BM bought SD's a bunch of new stuff that she wants them to try. I call BS. She is always trying to get out of getting SD's on Friday nights. DH and BM go to court over child support on Monday and she is begging DH to just let her have them on Saturday. They are not safe there. So we are extremely happy that she's calling off again.

DH and BM had a conversation over the phone last Thursday and she told him she was dancing and making money under the table, She said he wouldn't be able to get child support through the court and would start giving him money every week for SD's. She was kissing his butt because she thinks he can stop the court date. She always makes promises that she doesn't follow through with when she thinks she's going to get her way. ESP. when it comes to getting out of court. The last time she faked a seizure and just didn't show up.

Gets even better. without even being asked, she started talking about before he kicked her out, she said she knew she wasn't taking care of the girls because she was always f'ed up when she lived here and she couldn't and how she was always in bed! She admitted all kinds of things on the phone. She admitted to calling and threatening to slit our throats while we slept! The court would not listen to this before bc DH didn't have an attorney and it was a voicemail on his cell phone. BM still doesn't believe that everything is documented and recorded! She said she didn't have a copy of the PTG anymore so she is depending on DH to tell her when her visits are. UMM.... IF you really cared you could pick a copy up at your local court house, free of charge!!

BM told DH that if he did actually have the last conversation recorded that she wanted to hear it. There was a lot in that conversation as well.. The first thing was BM's B/F saying "I just want to bash Daddy's skull in" and they were both laughing. She also stated in that same call that she was just going to lie her a$$ off in court, that would be best. That part hasn't been brought up to BM. We already knew she would lie, she always does. There was a lot in that convo.. Just unreal. ALL of this stuff gets sent straight to DH's attorney.

 While driving myself crazy, documenting all of this stuff I have noticed something that everyone else already knew... BM cares about what she looks like to ppl when it comes to SD's, not actually about SD's. She is always accusing DH of just trying to make her look like a bad mom... no sweetie.. you are doing that all by yourself! My SIL messaged me on FB saying this and we hadn't even talked in a bit.

 

Sorry.. I guess I am just venting a bit, hadn't posted about SD's in a while and am super anxious about court. And still not a word from CPS to DH about SD's hospital visit!!

 

 

 

stephcarter

Definitely record every call, it helped us out a lot!! Have you guys gotten child protective services involved? Thats how we ended up w/ custody of SD. 

We went through the same things with BM. She cared more about looking like a good mom than actually being a good mom. Its so frustrating.

Tell your DH not to tell her when her visitation is. If she doesn't show up, she doesn't show up. Thats on her. Record every day she is late or doesn't show. My DH used to bend for BM and SD's therapist actually told him, "Stop being an enabler"

Its a lot of work, but it will be worth it in the end!! Don't give up!!  

Pamelacake

stephcarter:

Definitely record every call, it helped us out a lot!! Have you guys gotten child protective services involved? Thats how we ended up w/ custody of SD. 

We went through the same things with BM. She cared more about looking like a good mom than actually being a good mom. Its so frustrating.

Tell your DH not to tell her when her visitation is. If she doesn't show up, she doesn't show up. Thats on her. Record every day she is late or doesn't show. My DH used to bend for BM and SD's therapist actually told him, "Stop being an enabler"

Its a lot of work, but it will be worth it in the end!! Don't give up!!  

Yes, Thank you! DH has had custody since their split. We didn't start recording calls until February but started right in time. CPS is involved, for the second time, due to them coming home from a visit with BM not acting themselves and saying they were given a pill the previous night that made them go to sleep. BM said she was bringing them home early so they could spend time with us.

6yo SD's counselor told DH the same thing as well as to monitor phone calls between SD's and BM because she would always promise to pick them up and then just wouldn't show up or would send a text last minute, with them sitting here waiting, to let us do her dirty work, and then tell SD's that we wouldn't let her see them! One of the first recordings I got was 6YO SD on the phone crying because BM was supposed to be here to pick them up and after waiting about a half an hour after pick up time SD called her asking her to come and pick her up, why do you hate me.. all kinds of stuff.. It was a breakthrough for SD because she hasn't ever stood up to BM like that before and told her how she felt.. anyways.. BM ended the call with SD by saying, I'm done with this sh!t, have a good night! So we haven't told SD's when to expect her since then b/c she still didn't see them after that until April. BM always told us she was coming.. well more like demanded and threatened but never showed.

 

Sometimes it is hard to keep up with it all, somedays she will call and leave 20 voicemails in one day (all of which are recorded as well). DH gets mad at me sometimes for taking the time to type out everything that is said but I highlight certain points and everything to make it easier for the attorney. And since he has spoken with his attorney about this has cut me a little slack because if I get too far behind it is soo time consuming to catch up! and it's also less man hours for the attorney.

I have also noticed in her calls and it didn't take long... she calls to fight but never asks how SD's are doing. DH has to bring them up to her for her to ask anything about them!

 

10-4LilBuddy

Pamelacake:

My SIL messaged me on FB saying this and we hadn't even talked in a bit.

Can SIL get screenshots from FB of her lies?  It may be another bit of helpful documentation for you.

Pamelacake

10-4LilBuddy:

Pamelacake:

My SIL messaged me on FB saying this and we hadn't even talked in a bit.

Can SIL get screenshots from FB of her lies?  It may be another bit of helpful documentation for you.

I have already done that with SIL's text msgs and fb msgs. BM doesn't have a fb or email. SIL saw her at the bar the Saturday before mother's day and had her convinced that she got SD's every other weekend. and every time she was supposed to. went to church every sunday..blah blah blah.  BM was supposed to have SD's that weekend as it was mother's day weekend and I documented SIL's texts to prove that BM did have her phone b/c she had it out showing SIL pics. We had sent BM a text on Saturday saying if you want to spend mother's day with the girls let me know what time you'll be picking them up. She didn't start calling until 3:00 on Sunday saying she just got the text and couldn't find her phone and once again blaming DH that she didn't get to see them.