I am so angry

cawettig

I have felt so angry the last couple days. My anger is just burning inside of me. Why did this happen? There are so many unfit pieces of crap mothers out there, I could give my baby the best and love her unconditionally. I see moms out in the store getting so mad at their toddler and yelling at him or her to sit down and to be quite... I see pregnant people get so pissed how uncomfortable they are or how they are swollen and how they can not wait for the baby to come out so they are not so miserable anymore! WHY??? I would give anything and do anything to have her back inside of me. 

I am also so mad at my dh. He doesn't seem to be hurt from it anymore. He can go about his day and have nothing throw him off. He can talk to his friend about her pregnancy (also my friend and babysitter too) with no pain or anything. I can barely look at her from the neck down. When I am in the room with her I only see her face; it is like my brain will not look at her very pregnant body. It hurts so bad when he brings up her pregnancy and how she is getting big and due soon. UGH I just want to tell him to shut the hell up and ask him why it doesn't get to him. I am so mad at him right now. He has no idea what I am going through and the pain I am in. I am so mad that he is not hurting like I am.

I feel like he doesn't understand at all so I haven't been talking to him about it anymore. I have stopped talking to him for the past couple weeks about what I am feeling at times and what is going through my head. I just say I don't know when he asks what I am thinking. I change the subject and move on. I know I should open up to him and tell him what I am thinking, but I am sick of constantly crying to him and having him hear me talk about it constantly. 

I just want to stop being so angry 

JessicaG220

I am so, so sorry.  I have my angry times, too.  It's so unfair.  I know exactly how you feel about your pregnant friend.  I have a co-worker and close friend that's due 3 weeks after my due date.  I see her every day at work and it just about kills me.  She's the one person I connect with most at work, and at the same time I don't want to see her at all.  Her belly is a constant reminder of what I should look like now and how I should be preparing for my baby's arrival.  I am envious of her swelling, pain, and discomfort at this point in her pregnancy.  I would stay on bed rest for months if I could just keep her.  

 Anger is totally normal.  I just try to focus those intense thoughts on something positive.  I am happy that I have my health, and the option to try again for a baby.  I know that I will love and appreciate him/her than most people will ever comprehend with their own children.  Somehow, that gets me through my days.

 Hang in there!  It's totally normal.   

shandorfml2

I understand how you feel as well. Anger with DH is normal as we all grieve differently. My DH appeared to be "better" a few weeks after her birth, and it made me mad. But, he is grieving in different ways. I encourage you to be open with him, and let him know how you feel.Ask him how he feels. If you keep it inside it will eat you up. Lots of hugs and love...

Noethola

It is very hard to see some babies that will never have as much love in their lives as our little ones did in the few short months we had them. Life is so very very unfair.

Our Dhs grieve very differently. We thought about our babies every moment, because they were a part of us. Dh could go to work, go to bed, whatever, and not have to constantly be thinking about what he did or ate and how it would affect the baby. We did. For however long we were each pregnant, almost every waking moment was for our babies. Dh misses your daughter, he does. He just misses her differently. 

Heatherhah

The Anger you are feeling is another stage of Grieving it is totally normal. i felt so angry for about 2 months. I wanted everyone to be as angry as I was. My Dh went back to work after 3 weeks and I was mad at his since he didn't mention Sydney at all and after 20 months he still doesn't that much but remember men handle thinsg so different. They didn't feel the baby and have that instant bond that we all shared with our babies they were waiting for that bond to form when the baby was born but they lost that. So they don't understand how we feel. My DH told me that he said "honey you knew her so much better than I did you were with her everyday for 38 wks and 4 days I have the time she was out of you to bond and she was already gone". Men handle it so different. Try not to be so hard on your DH he probably wishes he could "fix" you , that's what they sdo they try to fix their wives but they can't fix this and it is tough on them. Pregnant woman don't hurt them since they have no clue about the feeling.  

I went to Grief counseling a week after we lost our DD and DH went to with me for only like a month cause I couldn't drive for the first 2 weeks so he drove me there but he stopped going since he didn't feel like he needed the sessions but I did I went every week for 8 months .

Thinking of you,

Heather

bunnybun4

as  PP's have said...anger is such a normal part of this process.  for me it is one of the worst parts.  my anger lashes out at people with healthy families or pregnant people and I have to daily remind myself that they didn't do anything wrong...

have you and DH thought about going to counseling at all?  I know for us the 2 times we have gone to see someone we have both felt sooooo much better afterwards.  men and women grieve in such different ways that it is good to have a professional help you communicate that to each other. 

so many hugs!