Grandma to be vent

Mrschadwick72

Sorry this is going to be a little long.

So my mother is supposed to be throwing my baby shower, by I'm pretty much doing everything! I've printed the baby shower invites an got all the addresses and have everything planned. I haven't even sent them out yet and my mom wants me to wait till next Friday! My baby shower is the 29th and I don't think that going to be enough time at all!!!

Second, se keeps saying Dh needs to find a better job so I don't have to work. For one, he's trying to get into a corrections officer program, and for two she has no room to talk when she can't even hold a job for more than a month! It also doesn't help that she's addicted to pain pills and takes about 6 Vicodin or Percocet at a time, and also likes to drink on them. Idk how I'm supposed to trust her to watch my daughter, when I don't even like the fact she has custody of my 14 year old brother!

Lastly, she keeps telling me she's going to be in the delivery room. I think it's a special moment and it should just be me and Dh since it was us who made this precious little girl, I'm sure we can bring her Into this world! With drs help of course. How do I tell her I don't want her in the room?

JocelynB0911

I personally think you need to step back from planning your own shower. Let her know that its becoming overwhelming for you and you would like her to step up and do all of this since she offered to host.

Let it go in one ear and out the other when it comes to her talking about your husbands job. Its none of her business and he is persuing his dreams. Dont get hung up on it. If you are worried about her caring for your LO since she seems to have alcohol and drug problems (yes, if she is absuing prescription meds its still a drug problem) you either need to talk to her about it or find someone else to care for your baby. I personally would never leave my kids with someone who I know cant be responsible enough to take medications correctly.

If you dont want her in the delivery room, dont have her there. If she is insistant on it put your foot down. This is your special moment that you and DH (IMO) should share alone if you so choose and it sounds like that is what you want. Worst case is you have to tell the nurses who can and cannot be in the delivery room. Really, you dont have to tell her you are going in to have the baby unless a scheduled c-section or induction is on the books and you told her already.

katiebenes

1. Mine haven't gone out yet for my shower on the 29th. But everyone knows the date... so I'm not too worried. we just finally got the okay to use the area we wanted to (at our church, the elders have to approve the usage of the large room.) 

2. Many, many, many families have two working parents.

3. If she won't listen to you about the delivery room, then make sure the nurses know who is and isn't allowed...  

staceymack

If she is high on pills and alcohol, you probably have no chance in reasoning with her. I would not waste my time arguing with her. Let what she says go in one ear and out the other. It's June 1st, so you have plenty of time. Usually invitations are sent out two weeks prior unless it is an out of town event for people. How do you tell her you don't want her in the room? You say just that and ignore anything she says after that. 

smlowe9311

Could you talk to your Dr./nurses? I remember at my first appointment my Dr.'s office asked who I wanted in the delivery room on the paperwork itself. Maybe this is something you can arrange through them if she won't listen when you tell her you only want you and DH. 

My own mom asked yesterday about being in the delivery room and I told her before and after totally but during when all my goodies are on display I wouldn't be comfortable. There will already be enough people looking at all that between the Dr. and nurses and hubby! 

coraggiosa

JocelynB0911:

I personally think you need to step back from planning your own shower. Let her know that its becoming overwhelming for you and you would like her to step up and do all of this since she offered to host.

Let it go in one ear and out the other when it comes to her talking about your husbands job. Its none of her business and he is persuing his dreams. Dont get hung up on it. If you are worried about her caring for your LO since she seems to have alcohol and drug problems (yes, if she is absuing prescription meds its still a drug problem) you either need to talk to her about it or find someone else to care for your baby. I personally would never leave my kids with someone who I know cant be responsible enough to take medications correctly.

If you dont want her in the delivery room, dont have her there. If she is insistant on it put your foot down. This is your special moment that you and DH (IMO) should share alone if you so choose and it sounds like that is what you want. Worst case is you have to tell the nurses who can and cannot be in the delivery room. Really, you dont have to tell her you are going in to have the baby unless a scheduled c-section or induction is on the books and you told her already.

All of this.  

VitaLuna

1. In this situation, I wouldn't complain about doing the invites, because it sounds like she's a flake anyway and they may not get done otherwise. If it's stressing you out, though, tell her you can't do it or have a friend offer to help her.

2. If you think it would make her stop, tell her you don't like it when she talks about DHs job. Otherwise, just ignore it. I would NOT allow her to watch my child, period. If she asks why, be honest. She has a drug abuse problem.

3. Tell her you don't want her in there. I have family that wouldn't listen, so I won't be telling them I'm in labor until after baby is born. Easy fix. If she knows you're there and you don't want her in, tell the nurses and they will help keep her out.

Mrschadwick72

Thank you everyone for your input! It really does help. I think ill ask my mil or my grandma if they want to help with the shower or else it's all going to be last minute and I really don't want to deal with all of the stress or anything! And I guess I'll just have to suck it up and tell her she's not allowed in the delivery room. I just don't want her mad at me, but once she holds her grandbaby I'm sure she'll forgive me!

inthelost

I would tell her it's a special event that you only feel comfortable with having you and DH in the room. If she's still insistent, I would let the hospital know and I'm pretty sure they can keep her away from the delivery room. It's toally your choice. and yes, I'd get someone else to help with the shower...