The Great Crib Debate

HBirdie

So, DH and I are having issues on baby's crib. He's a really talented carpenter and wants to build the crib himself for our kiddo, but I want to buy one. First of all, I'm worried about the safety issues- he's never built a crib before, and I know you can look up safety requirements and everything but it just makes me nervous. Second, he's super busy and booked up for the summer already, so he wouldn't be able to start building the crib until mid-July at the earliest. Third, he's made me furniture before (a glider rocker, coffee table, desk, and shelves), and it is beautiful, but isn't always exactly what I would choose to buy if I were in a store. I found a beautiful crib at a local baby store that I absolutely love, and it converts into a toddler bed and then into a full bed after that. I want to get it, but DH doesn't want to spend the money when he knows he can make one for cheaper. I've been trying really hard to convince him that he can make our kid something else that'll be really special to them, like a toybox or bookshelves or rocking horse or dollhouse or... whatever. But surprisingly, he's really digging his heels in! He's usually VERY easygoing and I don't find it hard to get my way. Haha. Any suggestions for me?

Habs2Hart

If it means so much to him, I'd let him do it, but show him the cribs you like and ask him to make one just like it.  Safety standards are easy to look up and a talented carpenter will know when something is safe or not.  I think it would be really special for him and he obviously cares very deeply about doing it.  You don't need a crib this soon anyway.  

diablesse

Buy the crib, but don't assemble it.  Convince him that you're buying it as back up in case he runs out of time and can't build one - you have the option to return it to the store.

Then bombard him with other projects so that he never has time to build the crib. MUhahahahha.

Sneaky? yes.  But it just might work.  

NNGnome

diablesse:

Buy the crib, but don't assemble it.  Convince him that you're buying it as back up in case he runs out of time and can't build one - you have the option to return it to the store.

Then bombard him with other projects so that he never has time to build the crib. MUhahahahha.

Sneaky? yes.  But it just might work.  

LOL, I love it, very sneaky

OP, I think he obviously wants to make it for the baby, maybe you could say to just make the toddler or twin bed as that will stay with you baby much longer, then there is no rush?

shellyco

My dad wants to make a crib for my parent's house.  He is also a talented carpenter but has no time to make it.  He thinks he'll get it done before the baby comes but it sooo won't happen. 

I'd do as pps suggested and show YH the style of crib you like and then give him a deadline for getting it done. 

EMLYNNLERETTE

Habs2Hart:

If it means so much to him, I'd let him do it, but show him the cribs you like and ask him to make one just like it. nbsp;Safety standards are easy to look up and a talented carpenter will know when something is safe or not. nbsp;I think it would be really special for him and he obviously cares very deeply about doing it. nbsp;You don't need a crib this soon anyway. nbsp;

This is kind of what I am thinking too, but I disagree with not needing a crib this soon. If you plan to use it right away and not a bassinet, I would want it done ASAP too!

IrishPiratess

I'd let him build it. it clearly means that much to him.

We're using a bassinet that was made for SO when he was born by his aunt's BF at the time. There's nothing wrong with it, and its that much more special since it was hand made. 

I personally don't think a toybox or shelves are as special as making the crib. That's a really big deal to guys to be able to build the bed that his child will be sleeping in. It's really sentimental.

Shanmarie1083

Does he know there are certain safety requirements that it should meet, like height and width of crib as well as space between the bars?

As long as he agrees to meet those requirements as well as a completion deadline then I would just let him make it. Although I would push for him to make the "big kid" bed since he'd have more time, plus it it something that will last longer and eventually your child will be old enough to understand the sentimental value behind it. 

MallardDucky

I would talk to DH about settling on making a cradle (smaller, less time involved), the baby will spend a good portion of time in it, and you can still buy the crib you like.

 

HBirdie

Shanmarie1083:

Does he know there are certain safety requirements that it should meet, like height and width of crib as well as space between the bars?

As long as he agrees to meet those requirements as well as a completion deadline then I would just let him make it. Although I would push for him to make the "big kid" bed since he'd have more time, plus it it something that will last longer and eventually your child will be old enough to understand the sentimental value behind it. 

 I really like the idea of him making the "big kid" bed. I've suggested it, but he hasn't seemed enthused. Seems like a good compromise to me!

For those that have asked, we're going to use a Rock n Play next to our bed for as long as we can, but I was planning on using the crib right away, for naps and such. Plus, I'm just really in a nesting mood and I want to get it set up and get sheets on it... I'm dying to have the nursery done so I can go in there and just imagine finally having my baby here! Silly and sentimental, probably, but I can't help it! I hate not having it done. 

Cleo421

diablesse:

Buy the crib, but don't assemble it. nbsp;Convince him that you're buying it as back up in case he runs out of time and can't build one you have the option to return it to the store.Then bombard him with other projects so that he never has time to build the crib. MUhahahahha.Sneaky? yes. nbsp;But it just might work. nbsp;

Hahaha, I love it! I'm all about safety and structural integrity so I understand your concern. My friend half stood in one of the cribs last night to reach something, and I about had a conniption! I think it's reasonable for him to want to build it and reasonable for you to want to ensure its 100 percent safe!

kennazebrowsky

Well if you trusted him to make the other furniture pieces I would let him make the crib. It sounds like he really wants to and that would be more meaningful then anything that a store would have. Plus if he built the other stuff you would be able to match it easier.

Cleo421

diablesse:

Buy the crib, but don't assemble it. nbsp;Convince him that you're buying it as back up in case he runs out of time and can't build one you have the option to return it to the store.Then bombard him with other projects so that he never has time to build the crib. MUhahahahha.Sneaky? yes. nbsp;But it just might work. nbsp;

Hahaha, I love it! I'm all about safety and structural integrity so I understand your concern. My friend half stood in one of the cribs last night to reach something, and I about had a conniption! I think it's reasonable for him to want to build it and reasonable for you to want to ensure its 100 percent safe!

Cleo421

diablesse:

Buy the crib, but don't assemble it. nbsp;Convince him that you're buying it as back up in case he runs out of time and can't build one you have the option to return it to the store.Then bombard him with other projects so that he never has time to build the crib. MUhahahahha.Sneaky? yes. nbsp;But it just might work. nbsp;

Hahaha, I love it! I'm all about safety and structural integrity so I understand your concern. My friend half stood in one of the cribs last night to reach something, and I about had a conniption! I think it's reasonable for him to want to build it and reasonable for you to want to ensure its 100 percent safe!

olga1311

I would give DH deadline and say that if he can't complete the crib by then, you have to get the crib. Keep in mind if the crib is on backorder it can take up to 10 weeks to get it so set the deadline with enough time for you to spare.

VitaLuna

This clearly means a lot to him. If he agrees to all the safety requirements, why not let him do it?

I know you like one you saw in the store, but if this is so important to DH, then that should be more important to you than the look of the other one, IMO.

awright1983

I think DH wins in this case.  This is obviously very important to him.  There are only so many ways for them to be involved with the baby right now, this is his way of connecting.  I think its fair to set parameters, for example it must meet current safety standards and must be completed by two weeks prior to your due date.  It would be fair for him to take into consideration the look you like for cribs but ultimately I would say give him free reign of the design.  Think how special it will be to tell your children that dad loved them so much he made their crib especially for them.