Should I pick up my LO or let her cry during seperation anxiety? — The Bump
Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Should I pick up my LO or let her cry during seperation anxiety?

My LO started having separation anxiety about a week ago. Its gotten worse over the week. Now I cant even take a shower without her freaking out. I am not sure what to do. Do I let her cry while I do my chores then come back and try to comfort her while I sit next to her. Or should I just go pick her up? I don't want her to think crying will mean I will hold her but I dont wanna see her cry and be miserable either. What do yall do?
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Re: Should I pick up my LO or let her cry during seperation anxiety?

  • My LO had it pretty bad for about 2 months.  I can't say for sure what I did every time, it was sort of a moment by moment basis.  I take my showers at night after he's in bed, so that wasn't an issue.  If I was home alone with him and needed to go the bathroom, I just take him in there with me.  If he was in the living room with my H and I left the room and he cried, I just let him cry and let my H deal with him while I went to the bathroom or ran to the laundry room or whatever.  Sometimes if I needed to clean the kitchen, I would just let him in there with me, open the cabinet that holds the tupperware and let him play with it all and make a big mess on the floor.  That would usually keep him occupied while I did dishes and cleaned up. 

    Then of course there were just times where I wanted to do laundry or clean and I just couldn't because he was being too needy.  Then I would just sit with him and play and wait until he was napping or sleeping to get things done.  Just know that it won't last forever, it does get better.

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  • image Aisham28:
    My LO started having separation anxiety about a week ago. Its gotten worse over the week. Now I cant even take a shower without her freaking out. I am not sure what to do. Do I let her cry while I do my chores then come back and try to comfort her while I sit next to her. Or should I just go pick her up? I don't want her to think crying will mean I will hold her but I dont wanna see her cry and be miserable either. What do yall do?

    Try to get her used to separation by playing peek-a-boo for example. I did this with DD using the shower curtain and now she is okay with me taking a shower. I tend to talk to her and comfort her because it is a natural phase and they just want to make sure you are there for them.

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  • image danieliza1127:

    My LO had it pretty bad for about 2 months.  I can't say for sure what I did every time, it was sort of a moment by moment basis.  I take my showers at night after he's in bed, so that wasn't an issue.  If I was home alone with him and needed to go the bathroom, I just take him in there with me.  If he was in the living room with my H and I left the room and he cried, I just let him cry and let my H deal with him while I went to the bathroom or ran to the laundry room or whatever.  Sometimes if I needed to clean the kitchen, I would just let him in there with me, open the cabinet that holds the tupperware and let him play with it all and make a big mess on the floor.  That would usually keep him occupied while I did dishes and cleaned up. 

    Then of course there were just times where I wanted to do laundry or clean and I just couldn't because he was being too needy.  Then I would just sit with him and play and wait until he was napping or sleeping to get things done.  Just know that it won't last forever, it does get better.

    Well said, this for me too.  We only had a very short period of it so I didn't have to deal with it much.

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  • I personally have let my kids cry.  I think it is important for them to learn that I will always come back, but I can't pick them up every time they cry.  I may sound mean, but that is how we roll.  Obviously I swoop them up if they bonk their nose or it's about bed time.  
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