Husband/House- Vent (Long)

Twinkle5086

Oh my I thought this nonsense with us closing on this house would never end! Well it did, badly! I got a call from my realtor today with bad news. The seller of the hosue we made the offer on has an FHA loan. While both our mortage lenders agreed to the sale price HUD would not approve to take such a large hit. The sellers owe almost 57,000.00 more on the home than they listed it for. Ugh.

I got the call today that HUD wants the listing agent  to relist the house at a much higher price than our offer even though the property is not worth as much to see if they can get a better offer. I wasted about 3 months  waiting to hear about this house and now I'm 5 months pregnant ansd going to have no where to put this new baby becuase we are in a 2 bedroom apartment at the moment. I also have to start all over again looking for a house when it took us a year to find this one!  

Now onto the husband:

Hubby ad I recently switched phone services and he had been harrassing me to do it for some time no. Granted our old service provided really did suck. Any way he has been attatched literally to this new phone the Galaxy S4 since he got it a week ago. Yesterday I asked him who he had been chatting with so frequently that he never puts it down, he was like oh the guys from work so I didn't think anything of it until I sat down at the computer which we both use and saw a chat between him and some girl he works with up on the screen. So not going to lie I wa a little nosy wanted to know what they were chatting about and started to browse through the chat that has apparently been going on for day and stopped at point where he's been waiting for me to go to bed to chat with this woman! he's been complaining that I have been so tired lately and I go to bed around 10. Then they atart talking about inappropriet stuff and at one point he told her to hold on that I had gotten up out of bed to use the bathroom and if I see him chatting on the computer that I'll come over to see what he's doing.

I was so bothered by this, but I didn't say anything until he started to ignore DS to talk on the phone last night to this girl I lost it. Was I wrong? Is it bad that he's up past midnight to talk to her? He even went so far as to put a lock on his phone!

On a side Note I picked a name for DS 2 Broderick Andrew I will call him Brody for short.

MommyKristin88

Bliss+Berry:

Twinkle5086:

I was so bothered by this, but I didn't say anything until he started to ignore DS to talk on the phone last night to this girl I lost it. Was I wrong? Is it bad that he's up past midnight to talk to her? He even went so far as to put a lock on his phone!

On a side Note I picked a name for DS 2 Broderick Andrew I will call him Brody for short.

Wow.  That's a lot of crap.  I had to address this though.  That shiit would in no way, shape or form fly in my marriage.  You need to address it now.  While he may not be physically unfaithful (yet) he is being inappropriate and getting really close to it and you need to nip it in the bud.  Time for a come to Jesus meeting with your H.  He should not be talking to another woman in that way.  At all. If it were me, I'd give him an ultimatum.  Give it up or GTFO.   

Kristonita12

So so so inappropriate! None of that would fly with me, and I hope you won't let it for you. Stay strong!

PrimRoseMama

Something in the milk ain't clean. Its always fishy to me if a spouse waits until the other is gone/asleep out of the picture to talk to another person of the opposite sex. Whatever he says he should be able to let you read and have in plain view. He shouldn't hide it or lie about it. 

Listen to your gut. This guy is showing you exactly who he is.  

Ajoyd

I have to agree with PPs. This is a huge red flag in your marriage and needs to be addressed ASAP.

If he's hiding it from you it is because he knows he is doing something wrong.  

bumpuser7698452

If he won't talk to this woman like that in front of you, then he probably shouldn't be saying it at all. Sorry about your house, but it sounds like a blessing in disguise. You guys have some major issues you need to get figured out.

aliwisewoman

Sounds like your husband is cheating or close to it.  MH would be sleeping at his mom's if I caught him doing something like this. And I guarantee that it would stop or he'd be on his a$$ with all his *** in the front lawn. 

scamberlous3000

aliwisewoman:

Sounds like your husband is cheating or close to it. nbsp;MH would be sleeping at his mom's if I caught him doing something like this. And I guarantee that it would stop or he'd be on his a with all his *** in the front lawn.nbsp;

:mobile thumbs up:

firstbaby55033

BrandonTricia sounds like what I did to my ex husband except I screen shotted all their convos on fb tagged him in it so everyone could see what a dirtbag he actually was.

katiebenes

Both DH and I have locks on our phones. however, we also know each other's combos. 

This sounds like the starting of an affair and it is time to sit his down and lay it out for him. Its not acceptable. AT ALL 

katiebenes

dh13:

Your husband's behavior is highly inappropriate and unacceptable. You also mentioned that he was neglecting your child in order to talk to this woman? Lets just say you are a much better woman than I, because I would have already buried him alive. The red flags for me are 1) waiting until you go to bed, 2) having some reason to hide his conversation from you when you get up in the night, and 3) his lying about talking to "the guys" from work. I would have a conversation with him IMMEDIATELY before this progresses any further. You and your child deserve better.

So sorry about the house situation, that really stinks. We just bought a house last year and the process you have to go through can sometimes push and pull you in all directions! 

On a general note: #3 alone isn't a red flag for me. (combined with the others it REALLY is) because my DH works with almost all guys and tends to refer to the few women at work as the guys too 

katiebenes

Brandontricia:

Here is the mean girl in me post the home wreckers number on Craigslist for some type of creeper service! Then deal with your DH! 

 

haha. oh... I have actually done that to someone who refused to leave me alone. FB and CL... he got the hint

Gatorsgirl731

PrimRoseMama:

Something in the milk ain't clean. Its always fishy to me if a spouse waits until the other is gone/asleep out of the picture to talk to another person of the opposite sex. Whatever he says he should be able to let you read and have in plain view. He shouldn't hide it or lie about it. 

Listen to your gut. This guy is showing you exactly who he is.  

I haven't heard this in so long.

OP I agree with all PP's this needs to be addressed like yesterday.  Gator and I also know all passwords and know if a conversation needs to be had privately it is not a conversation that needs to be had. 

PS I like your LO's name.

leahaustin

The house situation is frustrating but YIKES on your DH. That is completely inappropriate that he is talking to another woman and he is putting you down to her! That would definitely have me worried.

I would bring it up to him and just say point blank that you looked at his phone. He is in the wrong here. 

Liz4444

That is totally unacceptable. DH would be sleeping in his car.

hollowway

I would be staying somewhere else to be honest. If I found out my SO was talking to another woman in a way that he should only be speaking to me... he would be in deep sh!t.

MJHershey

Sorry about the house.

 

Your DH is big time in the wrong. BIG TIME.

Kfran84

firstbaby55033:

BrandonTricia sounds like what I did to my ex husband except I screen shotted all their convos on fb tagged him in it so everyone could see what a dirtbag he actually was.

Damn girl. Slow clap.

L Ros

Every situation is different, so do what you feel is best, but I would put a stop to this immediately. I dealt with this a while ago and at first I would jut let it go for a while, then gently bring it up and tell him to quit, but then it just kept getting worse and worse. I feel like it would have stopped if I had been more firm in the beginning. I wish you the best in your situation and I hope whatever decision you make turns out to be the best outcome for you. Good luck!