I love DH but...(vent)

Netty_3

So, I handle all of the bills and our bank accounts. I was going to be working a lot at the end of last month and the beginning of this month and asked if he could just handle the pedi bill because it didn't seem like we should have been charged anything more given that LO had gone in for a routine well checkup.  So I asked him to look into it, (there was nothing on the bill that seemed extra) and that if it was justified to pay it...fast forward to today.  I get a call from their billing office. REALLY?! One bill, one time I ask because I was swamped and he promised he'd take care of it. I never pay anything late...this drives me nuts, and exactly why I have to be in charge of everything, because anytime I have ever asked him to take care of something for me he has let me down on this front. End rant...

After that I feel I should say something nice...he let me sleep in this past weekend and I was very glad he did.

Ago

My DH is the same way, which is why I too handle all of this.  When I had DD, we ended up being late on a lot of bills - not because we didn't have the money, but rather because I was so sleep deprived and it completely slipped my mind.  I remember walking in to pay our electric bill with baby in tow - they were completely understanding...

shannm

I totally hear you.

I also struggle with how to communicate similar issues to him without being called a nagging b. he has said, "just let me know that our family needs it and I will do it. " but yet I feel like I have to follow him around and make sure I catch anything that gets left behind. Very frustrating.

And I will balance this out with saying that he is an amazingly loving dad with lots if smarts and a good sense of humor:

2-Step

My DH is the same way. He can't handle bills. Once I asked him to pay one bill each month, the cell bill. Come to find out he set it up on auto-withdrawl and never looked back. Checking our account one day I finally noticed we had been overcharged for three months in a row because DS had bought some ringtone app on DHs phone by accident! I had to call and have the charges reversed and get it set up to come out of the correct account. 

I've decided it's more stressful to ask him to take care of it than to just do it myself.  My DH is amazing in other ways though so I guess I'll give him a pass on this.

Netty_3

2Step:

My DH is the same way. He can't handle bills. Once I asked him to pay one bill each month, the cell bill. Come to find out he set it up on autowithdrawl and never looked back. Checking our account one day I finally noticed we had been :overcharged for three months in a row
because DS had bought some ringtone app on DHs phone by accident! I had to call and have the charges reversed and get it set up to come out of the correct account.nbsp;I've decided it's more stressful to ask him to take care of it than to just do it myself. nbsp;My DH is amazing in other ways though so I guess I'll give him a pass on this.

Ha...this was the one bill i used to have him do for a while too. It was too much for his busy schedule do I took it back.

Phoopy

Glad I'm not alone on this... DH is TERRIBLE with bills and other 'household' administration, and he's a banker! Sheesh, luckily he's great at other things, like diaper changes! Haha

2chatter

The disconnect between DH at work and DH at home drives me nuts.  He manages giant initiatives, including full budgets, SOWs and invoice approvals.  But he can't pay his bills?  (not due to a lack of funds)

It's a lose - lose situation here.  If I delegate to him I stress out about it, stress out about not nagging, stress out about nagging, then end up doing it myself anyway.  Great example - I went out of town for work and he had to pay DC.  He forgot.  He forgot again.  They called me and said DS could not stay unless we paid.  Totally fair, but what was I supposed to do about it?  I asked that they ask him then called him and freaked out that I was supposed to go pick up DS from three states away because he could not hand them a check.

Ya Never Know

You're not alone there! I took over paying the bills a long time ago because when we used to pay rent, and it was in DH's hands, our rent wouldn't get paid, and he wouldn't investigate why we suddenly had an extra $1000 that month. I'd only figure it out once they were phoning me asking why our rent wasn't paid.

CowgirlK39

I am so glad to see I am not alone! When we moved in together two years ago, I gave him one bill, the cable. He completely ignored the notice for THREE MONTHS. It was finally shut off and took a ton of work to get it back up. I handle all the bills now. I joked with a friend once that some men will not give a damn about bills until late fees include a punch in the balls. Once there is a physical consequence, men will finally begin paying bills on time

IBackBevo

Yup.  Same issue here. I took over paying my bills and DH's bills almost a decade ago after DH had his electricity turned off for non-payment.  Recently, DH was supposed to pay a medical bill when I was on hospital bed rest with my pregnancy.  He says he paid it online (and the correct amount was debited out of our account so I think he was telling the truth), but then when he kept getting a bill instead of just calling on it, he ignored it.  He says he did call on it and they said they would look into it, but he never followed back up with it again.  Then, when I later got a collection notice and asked him to take care of it again (this time right after I had the baby and was recovering for a c-section), he again said he would handle it again.  I assumed he had since I never got another bill. Four months later I checked my credit report and the collection agency reported it as an unpaid claim!!!  I went back and paid it (again) and the jerks are refusing to take it off my credit report.  So now I'm stuck with a ding on my credit--first ding I've had since 1999!!! SMH.  I think this is a common problem with men. I don't think they get that you can't just call one time and deem it handled...you have to follow up on it until it gets resolved.       

KathrynMD

LOL - I pay almost everything, but DH nags me about stuff constantly.  Did you pay X, did you pay Y, etc.

I want to tell him to pay it himself or STFU.  but, I don't, I just smile and nod.