We said good bye to our sweet Sydney. Time seems to go by so fast but also so slow. I wonder what she would look like if her hair would be blonde like her big sister if she would have blue eyes or brown. All things I will never know and that just sucks.
How have I survived the last 20 months I honestly don't know. I think I just try to not dwell on the what ifs since they can't be changed. I function every day and every day she is on my mind and in my heart. My DH and DS don't mention her that often but I know they think of her as much as I do.
Yesterday while out back cooking dinner on the grill and hanging around our pool DH was in the pool with DD1 and dipping our rainbows feet in the pool a black and sapphire blue butterfly flew around us and DH said there she is there is our Sydney. It fit so well since that is her birth stone sapphire. It was like she was there with us only for that brief sweet moment. I miss her so much !!