Expectant Mother's Birth Plan?

maryoosa · May 2013

Hi folks,

So, now I'm going to ask you to share with me stories of your expectant or birth mother's birth plans--- and then, how did it go?

Our emom wants to have a natural childbirth- which I think is awesome for her, and for the baby- but I also have fears dancing around that this will make it much harder for her to follow through on her adoption plan--- Whenever pop culture shows adoption on TV shows-fictional or reality- the birth mom's always seem to epidurals, or C-sections---

While I have no experience with childbirth, I imagine it's got to be a kicker of an emotional experience. ....

Thoughts?

mom2one · May 2013

Relinquishing a child is painful no matter how the child is brought into the world. If the expectant mom is going to change her mind, I really don't think that the method of delivery or refusal of pain medication is an indicator either way.

crene84 · May 2013

DD's BM did not have an epidural. She was tough and had already had 3 other children with no epidural I believe.

maryoosa · May 2013

crene84:
DD's BM did not have an epidural. She was tough and had already had 3 other children with no epidural I believe.

Whoa. I'm gonna say str8 up---had I ever gotten pregnant, the minute I had a positive beta I was gonna walk into a dr's office and schedule my C-section for 9months later... I have some serious respect for anyone who gives birth in any natural way---and the women that go no-drugs... that is some serious skillful birthing.

PS. thanks!

ellekae · May 2013

I wouldn't let her determination to go with natural childbirth worry you. Everybody's labor and body are different. I delivered DD without any meds and never had a moment that I wanted them. I am pretty sure I had an easy labor though. That said, I don't know if it will be more or less difficult for EMom to follow through with the adoption plan based on the method of birthing. I believe that it has much more to do with whether or not she has been truly honest with herself about what she wants for herself and her baby.

Art Teacher · May 2013

DD's birth mom had a natural birth. As far as the birth plan goes, part of it changed. She originally asked me to be in the delivery room, but 2 weeks or so before the birth, she changed her mind. She decided she just wanted her mom in the room. I understood (although I was a bit sad). We got the call that her water had broken and that we should wait for another call. That was 5pm or so and we didn't get the next call until around 8 or 9 am the next morning! We barely slept!! When her CW called us, she asked us to wait and drive up to the hospital early that afternoon. We were allowed to have time with DD in the nursery and then we got to spend about 10 minutes with her and her birth mom. DD came home with us the next morning.

hoping4more · May 2013

Our birth mom wanted to have a natural birth with her own 2 kids and ended up with epidurals for both. She had wanted to try natural this time but she actually had opposite feelings in thinking it might be harder to have natural birth since it was not "her" baby so she wouldn't have the urge to fight as hard to go drug-free.

In the end she decided to try to go drug-free but ended up with some fentinol and (sort of) an epidural. They had inserted it and gave a small bolus then went to lay her back to connect the actual epidural and she had a contraction and baby came out! Had she waited 10-15 more mins it would have been 100& drug-free.