RP: Do you plan to share night time feedings?

MrserinJ

Just wondering what others are planning to do....

This is our third and after about a month with our first baby, DH and I decided to share nighttime feedings and do "shifts". I would do anything before 3 am and be did afterwards. It really worked for us because it enabled both of us to get some solid stretches of sleep. I pumped enough from the beginning for 2 bottles a day to be out into the fridge and DH could use that.

I works for us because DH works from home, besides the odd time he has to go on work trips for a few days and I didn't have a problem with supply issues. We plan to do it again because DH thinks it truly affected his relationship with our kids. He has bonded wonderfully with them and has always been as confident as I have calming them, feeding, just parenting in general. I also found it very helpful as I have anxiety and depression that gets horrible when I don't get some sleep at least and this helped us avoid the problems with that.

I realize his work schedule enables us to make this work but I really think its been wonderful for all of us. I know some people don't want a bottle near their baby and BFing exclusively is extremely important to them. I totally respect that. It just seems I've got a lot of friends who are shocked by this arrangement as their DH wasn't really any help with night duties. Anyways, I suppose you do what works for you, but we just felt this to be a really great balance for us. Wondering if anyone else plans to do something like this, or do you plan to take care of all of the night time responsibilities?

Thanks for sharing!

WashingtonQueen

I EBF DS and never pumped. I guess that tells you who always did the feedings It will be the same way this time around.

JCWhitey

I read an article once that men can take hormones and pump and actually produce milk in just a few months.  I tried to convince H (jokingly) to do that.  He wouldn't go for it.  So, looks like I'm solo night feeding. 

A37licia

Nah, we don't plan to do that. He's never taken a night feeding, and I never felt the need.  He's more than happy to help out in the evenings on top of his full time job. He helps get the kids breakfast too, fairly often. I'm totally fine taking care of nights, and he's on if our other two kids wake up. Works for us.  I'd rather just nurse than pump and make sure there's a bottle.

MrserinJ

crunchymama11:

Your plan may have worked for you, but it will probably mess with a lot of women's milk supplies. That is why most women who BF do all the night feedings, because otherwise they have to get up in the MOTN and pump to maintain their supply. MOTN feedings are very important to maintaining a milk supply.That being said, there are other ways DH can help in the MOTN. When DH was home for the first 5 weeks, he got less sleep than I did. When DD woke up, I reached over and got her. DH helped get me set up with pillows and stuff, and then he would get me a snack and drink. When DD was done eating, he would change her diaper and burp/rock her back to sleep. I went back to sleep as soon as I handed DD over.But that may change now since we have a toddler. I may take over most of the overnight duties so DH is more rested to take care of DD during the day.

Yes, I understand that it may affect some women's supply. I wasn't completely set on EBFing I knew I wanted to get my kids the most BM I could, while still maintains some level if functionality. I also did middlecifctge night feedings; often I would feed at midnight and then right before 3 am. Then was able to sleep for about 5 hours straight. I just wasn't dead set on eBFing if I started to hate having the sole responsibility on me and began resenting it. I wasn't against them getting a pumped bottle or the odd bottle of formula if it did affect my supply. It worked well for us, but I realize not everyone would feel that way and that everyone's goal is different. I Was more or less just interested to see what others plan to do. Thanks for sharing!

A37licia

crunchymama11:

That being said, there are other ways DH can help in the MOTN. When DH was home for the first 5 weeks, he got less sleep than I did. When DD woke up, I reached over and got her. DH helped get me set up with pillows and stuff, and then he would get me a snack and drink. When DD was done eating, he would change her diaper and burp/rock her back to sleep. I went back to sleep as soon as I handed DD over.

That was our routine with our first. It was really helpful, sometimes just having him awake to bounce ideas (should we change him first, or wait until he eats on the first side, what if he's back asleep and we hadn't changed him, but he cries cuz he's hungry if I change him first, and all that LOL).  

With our second, that happened less. It definitely was our routine until I was physically able to do it by myself at night. His assistance to get the baby while I peed first and then got situated was very valuable to a hormone-laden, tired mama.  There were times early on that I needed to sleep and he was willing to take her and have her sleep on his chest for a couple hours once she was fed. He loved it even though his sleep wasn't the greatest for being cautious about holding her.

With #3, I anticipate that help early on again. Then as a couple weeks go by, I'll handle it at night again by myself. He's hard to wake up, and seems annoyed, but I know he's willing despite his nighttime grogginess. 

BelhurstBride

I EBF DD on demand, so obviously I did the feedings. 

That said, we did split the nights. DH took anything before 2am, I took from 2am on. I'd have to get up and nurse, but that was it. Diaper changes, fussy periods, whatever else happened before 2 DH was in charge of dealing with.

We continued that schedule until DD started STTN on a regular basis. (Like, two months ago.) Now, on the rare occasion she's up I get up with her, mostly because I hear her and react first.  

laurakaz13

Yes, after 2 weeks I started pumping at least one bottle a day.  I would feed DD at 7, go to bed and DH would handle everything before midnight.  I would handle everything after midnight. 

It worked extremely well for us.  I was a much happier mom omce I got some sleep and it did not affect my BFing one bit.   I would definitely do this again if we decided to have another. 

amandarins

We will be feeding DS formula, but while I'm on my 6 weeks of leave ill do the night feedings. We plan on splitting them once I go back to work, and I really like what you said about before 3am/ after 3am shifts...I was assuming we would just take turns but that seems more logical

Monkeybutt80

crunchymama11:

Your plan may have worked for you, but it will probably mess with a lot of women's milk supplies. That is why most women who BF do all the night feedings, because otherwise they have to get up in the MOTN and pump to maintain their supply. MOTN feedings are very important to maintaining a milk supply.That being said, there are other ways DH can help in the MOTN. When DH was home for the first 5 weeks, he got less sleep than I did. When DD woke up, I reached over and got her. DH helped get me set up with pillows and stuff, and then he would get me a snack and drink. When DD was done eating, he would change her diaper and burp/rock her back to sleep. I went back to sleep as soon as I handed DD over.

This is what we plan on doing. I would like to EBF but my dh wants to participate so ill feed and he will change his diaper and rock him back to sleep.

Lelo2006

I'm planning on doing all the nighttime feedings since dh will go back to work after a week. He needs to be well rested. I'm totally cool with that arrangement right now... We will see how it goes! Sometimes he gets insomnia so maybe in that case he won't mind feeding the baby when we start using bottles.

llbta85

I am planning on EBF so I will handle all the feedings.  With DS I was single so I handled everything anyway.  While it wasn't ideal I managed to get through it so I figure I can probably handle it again.  Plus DH gets very little sleep due to his job anyway.  I would rather have him as rested as possible. 

vintageutopia

I couldn't BF with my first two, so yes. We took turns...one night on, one night off. This way, we were guaranteed at least one full night of sleep every other night.

Mrs. Mo

With DD, DH was given a week of paternity leave & then took another week of vacation time. During that time, we alternated feedings. For the rest of my maternity leave, I did most of the night-time feedings. Once I went back to work at 8 weeks, though, we went back to alternating. From there, we only had to do that for another month, or so, until we were given the "ok" to just let her sleep and not wake her up to be fed.