Nervous to be a SAHM

taylorunden

I'm a young, 21 year old military wife with a 1 month old. I'm a nursing assistant who quit my job before going into labor. Living so far from family, it just doesn't make sense to pay so much for strangers to watch my baby. Now that I've met my baby I realize that I totally underestimated how much I'd love him and can't imagine leaving him in 2 weeks anyway! ?? 

I've been working full time since I was 15 and even though I know being a SAHM is tough, I'm worried about not getting out of the house with other adults everyday and becoming extremely bored and lonely. I am a pre nursing student but I am only taking online classes while my baby is so young. Once I get the ok from my dr I plan on working out a lot since this is what I enjoyed before pregnancy. We are stuck at this base with awful weather, forever, because of my husbands job and every time I make a friend they get stationed somewhere else so I have kind of given up on making friends. We only have one car and my husband almost always has it because he is at work a lot.  

So, I will have enough to keep me busy with classes, exercising, chores, taking care of baby, etc... But don't you get lonely and bored being at home every single day?

I am so grateful that I get the opportunity to stay at home with my baby for a year or so and I only want to enjoy it! So what is your advice on avoiding loneliness and boredom from the same routine, day after day?   

12bailey18

As a military wife, I would imagine you would have other SAHM's similar to your situation all around you. You are going to be miserable in the military if you've 'given up on making friends.' Unfortunately, that's the nature of the job and I would hate to miss out on quality friendships because someone might be moving soon. Also, thanks to Facebook I have close friends all over the world. I would definitely get bored and lonely if I didn't have my network of support and friends here. Can you ask your DH if he has any guys he works with that are married with young children? I've made a ton of friends by just asking DH who he works with. I usually find the wives are just as eager to make friends. You might just have to put yourself out there a little bit. You didn't say where you're stationed but you should get on your base website and look for community events and programs for moms. You might find clubs to join (I found an awesome running club for moms here) play groups, etc. Good luck! 

 

Tally06

Can you drive your H to work & pick him up so that you can keep the car at least a few days per week? If so, is there a mom's group in your area (possibly on meet up.com) or story times at your local library?

Also, like 12bailey18 said, there have to be other SAHMs on base. Even if they won't be your forever friends, why wouldn't you want to make friends just to have other moms to socialize with? 

Best of luck to you. 

kmc217

As a former military wife, it seems like you are missing out on a world of support and friendship because you are worried your friends will one day move away. I wouldn't close myself off to the other wives around you-- 2 of my very dear friends are from the years my DH was in the Marines and even though we live 1000s of miles apart now we still keep in touch. They were integral to my sanity while DH was active duty, deployed and injured. I second PP who suggested dropping your DH at work-- when we only had 1 car, I did this, sometimes at 4am, and drove 30 miles across base just to avoid being stranded without a car. Do you live on base? Base housing often has stuff within walking distance, neighborhoods with families etc. Even if it is cool, can you bundle up baby in the stroller to take walks to get out? Can you volunteer on base somewhere? I actually found the military to be almost as conducive to making friends as college-- easier than the civilian world IMO. 

Good luck! Your LO is so young still and you are too... you are going through a lot of adjustments and it will take time to get used to.